• Archive


  • See you in 183 days

    For the past two weeks, I haven’t had to fight with the fitted sheet on my mattress. Specifically, the upper left corner. I simply pull the covers down and get into bed. No more tugging, pulling, inadvertently bending a nail back as I plead with the elastic to...
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  • Happy (Un)Anniversary

    September 15, 2015 Dear 2007 Marie: Today is our eight-year wedding anniversary. Crazy, right?? That was the first thought that popped into my head this morning when I woke up, and it made me smile. Such good memories! You are dressed in a beautiful wedding...
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  • Goodbye, Wilson

    I’m pretty sure I’m having a mid-life crisis. Not in the traditional “get a bad ankle tattoo and dye my hair blonde” sense…but it’s dangerously close. Yesterday, I had a rare afternoon off. I used that time to meet with a friend and fellow comic...
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  • Sorry, not sorry

    A few weeks ago, I watched a skit from “Inside Amy Schumer” that had me laughing hysterically. The skit centered on a four woman panel invited to speak at a conference on innovation. The women were smiling, sitting confidently, waiting for the questions to begin....
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  • Life is a highway (I don’t want to be stuck in traffic with you)

    I was driving on the highway recently and passed a friend of mine. It was a quick exchange, no big deal. After she passed me, I felt a huge sense of relief that it happened on the highway and not in city traffic. If any...
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  • Head of Christ?

    This past weekend, I had about an hour and a half of uninterrupted television time. It’s Easter season and I was trying to get in that cheery, “mob kills a man who then comes back from the dead to save your soul” mood. I found myself settling on the critically-acclaimed...
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  • In Jesus’s name, I’m kidnapping you

    The ages of 12-15 are pretty horrible years in a girl’s life. You’re hitting puberty, (unless you were one of the “early developers” who got boobs in fourth grade), probably have braces, shitty hair and skin, horrible clothes, and hate everyone and everything in the...
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  • I see a pattern here…

    Can you believe Groundhog’s Day was just three days ago?? Wow! Time really flies. Can you believe Groundhog’s Day was just three days ago?? Wow! Time really flies. Repeat, ad nauseam. Like practically anyone I know, I have always struggled with my weight. As a...
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  • The Gift of the Bonsai

    Holidays are tough. For me, Christmas is the worst. It’s not because of the presents. I don’t have any particularly memorable Christmas dinner memories. My family is small, so we didn’t have a huge party. What I miss the most can be summed up in this...
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