• Archive


  • Fifty is the new f*cked

    It’s not the new 40.  It’s certainly not the new 30.  Being in your 50s is a punch to the gut. Oh sure, the signs of aging are gradual, but the minute your first, unsolicited AARP membership card comes in the mail, a bright spotlight...
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  • You’re a fine man, Howard Fineman

    I’ve had a crush on you for quite some time.  When you appear in your contributor role on MSNBC, I stop dead in my tracks.  My right hand instinctively goes for the “+ volume” button on the remote and I am yours for the next...
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  • Sleeveless in Seattle

    It’s a brand new year and I’ve got the same old resolution – to lose weight.  I can’t remember a time when I was content with my body.  At 16, I wore a size seven bikini and thought I was fat.  Now that I’m actually...
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  • Enough with the Hitler comparisons

    Funny thing happened on the way to the podium at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service.  Barack Obama ran into Raul Castro.  As I watched it in real time, I winced, but not for the handshake.  It was the dreaded bow.  You see, Raul is much shorter...
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  • November 22, 1963

    If you are of my generation, you know exactly where you were the day my mom’s worst boyfriend skipped town. I was nine years old.  My father died six years earlier and my mother was on boyfriend number 53 (or so it seemed.) In the...
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  • 58 and fired

    It’s taken me a year to write about being sacked by corporate America.  Not out of sadness or shame or writer’s block.  No, it was hope. Hope that I would be hired by another company and then fear they might Google me, find this column...
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  • At home with the Cruzes

    Ted Cruz:  “Daddy’s home, girls!  Let’s wash our hands for dinner.” Daughter #1:  “I’m not eating.” Ted:  “Why not, Princess?” Daughter #1:  “Because the kids at school said you’ve taken food out of the mouths of babies.” Ted:  “Come on, Kitten, that’s nonsense.  You’re too young...
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  • Tea Party 12 Step Program

    Admit you are powerless over any gun control.  The Second Amendment and God give you the right to purchase any gun, any time to shoot anybody who is threatening any ground where you’d like to stand.  Pretty sure it’s in the Bible. Admit a power...
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  • Guilt from the grave

    Oh how I envy psychopaths.  Lacking any sense of guilt or remorse; they rationalize, blame and deny it all away.  OJ, Casey and Jodi sleep like babies.  While I pop Ambien the way I eat brownies, one half at a time. I used to think...
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