• author
    • Kathleen Brotherton

      Columnist/Youth Editor
    • April 21, 2016 in Columnists

    The politics of blow jobs

    The Sexual Revolution of the ’60s was rumored to have made sexuality open for exploration. Women were now “allowed” to explore their wants as sexual beings. It became acceptable to explore what turned us on. We could own the fact we want to have orgasms. We could talk about it. We could admit to masturbating, liking it from behind, along with experiences that came off the beaten path of lying there in missionary position waiting for him to finish.  Counter-culture pulled promiscuity into the maintream. We were now free to screw whom, when, where and how we saw fit.

    Really? You think so?

    Think again.

    This year, the wife of the president that got his presidential knob slobbed in the Oval Office is running for the presidency. It should be expected that the blow job that rocked the world would, once again, be the butt (or mouth, in this case) of the joke.

    Monica Lewinsky, 22 years old, wandered onto the radar of the most powerful man in the world. Mr. President smiled, undid his presidential trousers and cajoled a 22-year-old intern.

    “C’mon Monica, be a good girl. Just kiss it a little.”

    Women cringed at the mess that intern got into as her face spread across the news. The rumor was that we now had sexual equality to men. Common sense would dictate this should include the simple act of performing fellatio. The alleged revolutionized sexuality of these United States should have not even taken note to a 22-year-old girl putting it in her mouth in the Oval Office. What was the big damn deal about a blow job? We burned our bras! We take birth control! We are free!

    We closed our eyes and let them lynch that girl.

    Who stood up for Monica Lewinsky being the sexually revolutionized woman we preached she was suppose to be?  We, as women, let the Republicans wreck her, we let the Democrats wreck her. We let every Tom, Dick and Harry pass along jokes about her. We let the then-fetal internet bully and brutalize her. We closed our eyes and let them punish her because she bought into some bullshit sexual revolution we told her had occurred.

    Where were the feminists preaching sexual equality when Monica Lewinsky was witch-hunted and dragged to the dunking chair? I’ll tell you where we all were: hiding out, praying to sweet baby Jesus that we didn’t get called to accountability for our own blow jobs.

    Good girls do not give head. Bad girls give head. Bad girls deserved to be punished.

    Do not put anything in your mouth. Nothing belongs in your mouth but your toothbrush.

    I remember my father sitting me down to discuss oral sex. I remember it like yesterday, my cheeks flushing hot, mortified. I looked anywhere in the room but at my father’s face. I prayed for the  floor to open and swallow me whole. Hell is certainly a more pleasant spot than the kitchen table discussing fellatio with my father.

    I, too, went no holds barred with my daughter. Our relationship was not one of candy-coating anything. Here is the truth, daughter. Do what thou wilt with it.

    “A blow job is a death sentence to being the girl a guy wants to make his girlfriend. They promise you the world, the stars, ice cream every Wednesday, until they cum. You are then dismissed to clean up the mess on your face. They won’t call. They won’t answer texts. One day they will pop up again looking for another blow job. Rinse. Repeat. Girlfriend? Ha! Wishful thinking sister.”

    She stared at me blank faced.

    “Ma, why is this so complicated?”

    Good question daughter, very good question. I had a similar but different conversation with my teen son.

    “Promise me something.”

    “Okay, Mom.”

    “Understand that what you are feeling between your legs for that fleeting moment, those three minutes in heaven after days and hours of negotiation, might damage her the rest of her life.”

    “I’m not like that, Ma!”

    We are not sexually revolutionized. Women are as sexually oppressed as ever.  The irony is that men are stuck on the same merry-go-round of  sexual oppression bullshit. They are stuck between the raging urges and what has been pummeled into their testosterone-saturated brains as the standards of sexual behavior.

    We have taught our sons that sexual women are bad women as we teach our daughters that the revolution set them free. There is no balance. What we now have is sexual chaos and role confusion, and our girls are the ultimate victims of not acknowledging the truth.

    What happened to Monica Lewinsky happens over and over every day, because we refuse to acknowledge the sexual double standard. The only way to revolutionize healthy sexual attitudes is to admit they have yet to be revolutionized. The only way to bring about the a true sexual revolution is to make the same rules for our sons and daughters.

    Good girls don’t. Bad girls do. Bad girls get punished.

    Why is it so complicated? Because we allow it to remain that way.


      • Madgew

      • April 21, 2016 at 8:06 am
      • Reply

      I remember at the time of Monica Lewinsky I told everyone if given a chance to blow a president, I would have done it in a heartbeat. Great article. We are still puritans when it comes to sex. Right now blow jobs are given freely. That is the sad part to me. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. Guys need to do
      their part. 🙂


      • ACrociata

      • April 21, 2016 at 8:21 am
      • Reply

      Monica and Bill knew what they were doing and real men reciprocate.


      • Kathleen Brotherton

      • April 21, 2016 at 8:22 am
      • Reply

      Bill was pretty damn hot back then.


        • Madgew

        • April 21, 2016 at 8:49 am
        • Reply

        Giving a blow job to a president would be a lifetime memory- good or bad. And he was hot. If given the chance I would take it even today. 🙂


          • Heather Alani

          • April 21, 2016 at 1:26 pm

          Unless it’s trump, Madge….don’t do it.


      • Jenn

      • April 21, 2016 at 8:23 am
      • Reply

      “Rinse. Repeat. Girlfriend? Ha! Wishful thinking sister.” Amazing and so true. I never could understand why the entire nation was all riled up over head anyway.


        • Kathleen Brotherton

        • April 22, 2016 at 7:19 am
        • Reply

        I think if we start looking a little deeper at things this country is not exactly what it appears to be. Do as I say not as I do.



    • It’s amazing that through the years it has always been the women shamed and not the married man. We live in a society where women should be more civilized and not stoop to this level of sexual freedom but men are chalked up to just being men.


      • Joe

      • April 21, 2016 at 9:12 am
      • Reply

      Good article Gattito Meow!!!!


        • Kathleen Brotherton

        • April 21, 2016 at 9:32 am
        • Reply

        Gracias Senor!



    • You knocked this one out of the park! AMEN, sister!


        • Kathleen Brotherton

        • April 22, 2016 at 6:30 am
        • Reply

        Thank you Boss Lady. More pissed off that ever.


      • Heather Alani

      • April 21, 2016 at 1:25 pm
      • Reply

      Monica became somebody from that blow job. She wrote books, she made money. It was a blow job gold mine for her. Really, you are right. It wasn’t appropriate, ” where Clinton was getting a blow job.” As it doesn’t set good morale, for sexual harassment in the work place.” Other than “WHERE” it was, it was not our business. It was his business and Hillary’s. Hillary handled the situation like a divine queen. Given the fact, that her husband humiliated her in front of the world and she maintained her grace, proves what a wonderful president she will be. Umm. That’s all. Oh, yeah, sexual oppression……I’ve never felt oppressed…but, then I don’t care much what people think, either.


        • Kathleen Brotherton

        • April 22, 2016 at 7:08 am
        • Reply

        Heather,
        Monica did not become somebody from that blow job. What woman would exchange her dignity, her sense of self worth to make money off the ashes of what could have been her life? She spent years getting her degrees. Degrees she would never be able to use because she was blacklisted from journalism. I bet if you investigated every single woman who works in journalism you would come up with MANY sexual situations that would be deemed inappropriate by Non-Sexual-Revolutionist standards. Yet there they are enjoying their successes, their perceived inappropriate behavior having no bearing on their successes. Hillary did not handle the situation like a divine queen because she didn’t hunt down Monica and smack the crap out of her. She zipped her lips. Monica was not the first in the many of Bill’s marital discretion’s. Hillary would have handled the situation like a divine queen if she publicly forgave Monica. Hillary as well as every other woman in this country let Monica get train wrecked. I certainly don’t think how she handled her husbands indiscretions qualifies her for the Presidency. Her education, Her resume, her ability to sway the masses to her way of thinking is what qualifies her to be President. Perhaps you never felt oppressed because you never stepped outside of the rules. Think about it.


          • Heather Alani

          • April 22, 2016 at 9:56 am

          Well Ultra Lord Lewinsky smack down. I don’t feel oppressed because I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about me. Think about what you just said…think about who I am…then get back to me. What have I ever done conventionally? Everyone’s had an opinion or blah blah blah talk. I just don’t talk about it, because I don’t think about their opinions. I was just kidding about Lewinsky..a comedian made that joke…AND I do think Hillary handed herself like a queen because in the face of personal humiliation, she didn’t acknowledge either of them, for her country.


          • Heather Alani

          • April 22, 2016 at 10:52 am

          handled. I need an editor.



    • I see a lot of comments and statement referring to oppressive males as “men”. Those people aren’t men. “Boys” or “guys” would be better labels for those males who perpetuate sexual/social double standards.


        • Kathleen Brotherton

        • April 22, 2016 at 6:35 am
        • Reply

        I don’t think learned behavior denotes whether or not a male is a *man* or a guy. The purpose of this column is and was not to attack men or point a finger that men created the climate. It isn’t just men. It is MEN and WOMEN equally. We all perpetrate the double standard. This isn’t a MAN issue. It is a human issue. Women are JUST as guilty as men. Perhaps women are MORE guilty than men of creating this issue. That is a whole different topic to explore.



        • I’m merely talking about a label/title that should be reserved for those who are both mature and considerate of others. I’m not a huge fan of generalizations nor am I a fan of labels and titles used applied to people or organizations who did not earn them.

          Call it a weird pet peeve of mine if you will. I felt a need to point it out.



        • ^Same applies for women/ladies (choose your favorite connotation for a mature and considerate female individual). My comment focused on the male labels because I am extremely aware of how many pig-headed idiots I have to share the gene pool with and do not enjoy sharing a title of supposed refinement with them.



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