• author
    • Donald Sanders

    • August 7, 2015 in Columnists

    This is for men only

    Girls are strange. This is not necessarily a bad thing nor is it a good thing. It’s just the way it is. I bring this up only because 99.9 percent of all men believe this to be true. Only the top 14 percent of all men are intelligent enough to understand them and they themselves are wrong a good 32 percent of the time. There is however, the top .05 percent of those men that are truly capable of understanding women.

    The main problem is that of all the men in the world, only one or two are capable of explaining women to other men in a comprehensible fashion. When average men talk about women, it naturally turns to gobbledygook and when the 14 percent say anything, it’s wrong about a third of the time, so men that want to learn about women are screwed from the git-go.

    OK, there are about 100 men in the top .05 percent, one for each continent. On the American continent, I am the go-to guy. I’ll tell you right now what you need to know about women.

    (For your information, this column is a secure site where we men can discuss everything we need to discuss and women will never know what we’re discussing, so feel free to discuss. The fact of the matter is that women think my column is too dumb to waste time reading.)

    The first thing I need to discuss is the fact that no man can please any woman for any length of time. The length of time will vary, but from my experience, I’d say anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes is tops. Any longer than that and they are ready to move on, so they put on their clothes and leave or go do the dishes or something like that. Sometimes they will leave their underwear behind just so you’ll wonder why they did it.

    Except for the .05 percent like me, all women are smarter than all men. I know this is scaring you, but it’s time to man-up and quit being a pussy. Women can naturally sense when a pussy-man is within 50 yards, and you will not like what’s left when they finish with you. It is not pretty. So, any men out there that are pussies — you should find a good hiding place until you can get it together enough to man-up.

    OK, next is sex appeal. Don’t worry about that, because you have absolutely none. Sex appeal is a ploy that women use to get what they want from you. They have the power to make you believe you have sex appeal, but that only lasts until they’re done with you and then you’re back to feeling like the turd you really are.

    Control is another subject you need to know about. Women learn at a very early age how to control men. If you for a minute think this isn’t true, simply observe a father and daughter in a living room setting. Any father is unable to resist his daughter’s skills used to get him to fulfill her wishes. “Daddy, I love you may I have a candy bar?” or “Daddy, are you my snuggly-poo?” Whatever, it makes me sick how big burley men fall for this crap!

    Thirdly, and most importantly, women can kill you twice as fast as another man can. The fact that women do not make good soldiers is totally and undeniably a big fat lie. That means it is not true. I have witnessed women killing my father and grandfather. I mean right in front of me, and then they looked me dead in the eye like I was going to be next, but I was too smart and ran away — that ain’t no lie neither!

    What really happened was their women’s super-senses detected a young .05 percent male in the neighborhood, so every male within a five-block radius (that’s a circle) was wiped out, off the face of the earth, and they were looking for me. The only reason I survived was by eating human feces so they left me alone, thinking I was stupid. I fooled them that time and many times after that, so if you want to survive, you better be ready to eat some shit!

    So, in the end, all I can say to you, the average man, is to think of ways to make yourself useful to some woman. If you can’t keep a good job, do dishes, mop floors or something like that, well, you might as well bend over and kiss your own ass goodbye, for you are toast.

    I’ve written before about how women are taking over the world and it was ignored by the majority of all humans. As a matter of fact, only one person read it and I think it was a woman that was assigned to find any threats to womanhood. Apparently she didn’t think it was a threat because I am still alive today.

    Here’s a link to the other warning about women. Read it and weep!

      • Valerie engelman

      • August 7, 2015 at 2:15 pm
      • Reply

      If men only understand this editorial, and yet I feel I do, are you the mythic creature who can explain women to themselves? Because that or back tickles and I’m happy.

      • Madgew

      • August 7, 2015 at 6:01 pm
      • Reply

      Love your writing Donald even if more than half of it is more bull than shit, which I understand you eat figuratively or literally. Your writing always makes me laugh when you try and explain women. xoxoxo

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