• author
    • Jesse Loren

      Columnist
    • January 31, 2013 in Columnists

    A foodie looks at Christianity

    Jesus paid for all of our sins.  “All” must include those born, unborn and those still sinning.

    If Jesus paid for my sins, isn’t it like a wealthy friend taking me to dinner and saying everything is paid for, just order what you want? Because if my sins are paid for, I don’t want to be the girl that orders water when I could have foie gras, oysters on the half shell, caviar, top shelf margaritas, pineapples and chocolate.  I might even order 50 year scotch, or the sin equivalent, which might be NOT drinking  the 50 year old scotch.

    If sins are food, my early diet was air.  Aside from trying to baptize the cat, I was a total square in high school and should have done more to even that payment.  Really, Spartans did more than I did.

    If Jesus paid for my sins and I am still alive and sinning, I want to make sure  he didn’t die in vain.  I will not commit any big sins, like murder.  Murder denies a person of her liberties and I wouldn’t do that.  I don’t believe in the death penalty  either. Government sponsored murder is murder.   I can’t support that.

    It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to embrace morality.  It’s pretty obvious that stealing denies a person of their property. Hoarding money, food or clothes denies others their personal needs. Jesus never liked the money changers.  It’s not rocket science.

    Hating isn’t moral either. Hating is toxic and stems from unresolved personal issues or misplaced self-righteousness.  It doesn’t take a fat holy book with weird stories to tell me that.  I figured that out because I have a mind and a heart full of empathy.  I might be silly. I might be a tad funny, but I am not a hater.  I could love others while standing on my head. I don’t understand any religious message that compels people to hate or harm others.

    I don’t get the weird, Old Testament, biblical stories either.  If a voice told me to tie up my son and murder him to show my love, I would hope someone would get the long sleeved white coat and put it on me before I hurt myself or others.  That is delusional, schizophrenic behavior that needs medical help.  No wonder religious folks want to judge others, carry stupid signs and handle snakes, their book is messed up.  Did they really settle the score by cutting off foreskin? Jesus, that is just odd.

    The bizarre story of creating a flood because there weren’t enough good people is stupid too.  That god is depicted as a child who overturns the game board because he doesn’t like his game.  That’s not for me either.  I have better sense than that.  What if we all did that every time things didn’t go our way?    How dysfunctional! How destructive!  That’s a god that needs to grow up.

    I also don’t get the hate of some Christians either.  Jesus never speaks of hating others.  Why should I?  If you are a Christian, you follow the new book. And the new book says not to judge or hate.  It doesn’t give exception.  Really.  It. Does. Not.  Give. Exceptions.  People should use their hearts and their noggin a bit more when it comes to blindly following pastor Joe- the- Hater.  And if a voice in your head tells you to kill or maim your son, please seek medical help.  That is not god, it’s a mental health issue.  You need to either half your medicine or double it.

    If you read this far and you think I am kooky toward religion, it’s because I probably am.  I love spirit.  I love nature.  I love life.  I love my husband, children and grandchild.  I believe something greater than myself was there with my grandson’s birth.  And something golden in me tells me that there are real spiritual folks and real spiritualish fake folks. I believe I can tell them apart with my heart.

    The fake folks deny that love, taking care of others, and helping the poor are the highest values of religion.  They want to rule over people’s rights to love and marry. They believe something makes them better than others and blind to their needs. That is not the message of Christ.

    Maybe your book says that Jesus died for your sins. However, if you are cherry picking testament to fuel hate, you might as well be a foodie looking for more caviar from the sin man.



    • Jesse, I love your writing and this one says it all. I am not a believer but I am spiritual and believe in compassion and joy and love.


      • Maya North

      • January 31, 2013 at 12:18 pm
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      By the time I finished reading, I was grinning ear to ear. I’ve been dubious about the whole business for most of my life (and in fact, my granddaughter finds the whole business mortally offensive–and she’s 9 and a half). First there’s the whole worship thing. All god hears is “I love you! You’re awesome! (Pleased don’t kill me.) I *love* you, maaaan! Oh dude, you’re the bestest ever! (Please don’t squash me like the little ant thing I am.)” Seems to me that any self-respecting god would be kind of repelled by all this sucking up. Me, I celebrate god (such a tiny little word for such a huge being). I’m not afraid of god, and I’m not at all impressed with the concept of being god-fearing, either. I do not hide in my closet, shaking, praying that god won’t find me in that great, big cosmic game of hide-and-seek. I am far more afraid of people.


      • Maya North

      • January 31, 2013 at 12:18 pm
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      And there’s the whole human sacrifice religion thing. I was listening as my husband was watching a PBS program on TV about human sacrifice religions. Take a nonreproducing male member of your tribe. Give him a really, really good year (they kind of failed with that part), imbue him with all the sins of the entire tribe, then kill him and send hm to your gods to make expiation for you. Then you drink of his blood and eat of his flesh. Sound familiar? I thought so! Really grossed me out.

      Thing was, Jesus was a heck of a rabbi and had some really awesome ideas. The problem is not Jesus. It’s what everybody after that did with him. Oy. And furthermore, vey.


      • Debbie H

      • January 31, 2013 at 1:25 pm
      • Reply

      It seems to me that, in their quest to make the ineffable concrete, evangelicals create a god who is nothing more or less than a petty egoist, demanding constant praise and tribute as the price of an eternal backstage pass.

      Related is the fact that “pro-lifers” (a dubious term itself) generally identify a fetus as “an innocent life” but they are, by and large, the same people who, as conservative Christians, believe that we are all sinners – conceived in sin, born in sin, guilty of sin and needing to spend out lives atoning for sin and following a highly specific formula for remission of sin. So I don’t think these fetuses *are* innocent, or are at the very least destined to lose that innocence upon entry into the world anyway.

      I guess they think that people need to be created so they can work to be forgiven for being created. Or something like that.

      It makes my head hurt trying to figure it out.



    • I love you Debbie, Maya and Madge!



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