The ABCs of Donald Trump
I was mildly entertained. But now I’m wildly troubled. This raging asshole could get the votes of millions of idiot citizens and become our next president. I was pushed over the edge when Trump criticized the parents of slain U.S. patriot Captain Humayun Khan and then equated his own business success to Humayun’s (and his parents’) ultimate sacrifice.
Next, Trump suggested women who are sexually harassed in the work place should “change careers or move to another company.” And that’s just what happened last week!
The previous week he responded to the Democratic National Convention by saying he wanted to “hit a number of those speakers so hard their heads would spin.” The stunning “Our Children Our Watching” TV commercials repeatedly remind us of Trump’s longing for “the good old days when (protesters) would be carried out on stretchers.”
I needed a break from the violence, so I turned off MSNBC and drove to my happy place. I snagged some great deals from the TJ Maxx clearance rack and headed to the fitting room. As I was gleefully narrowing down my summer season treasures, an annoying voice from the room next door threatened to rain on my shopping parade.
A little girl blew a gasket when her mom told her she couldn’t have the too-tight sundress and had to be satisfied with the three dresses that did fit her. The privileged little brat went from pleading to crying to throwing hangers to (apparently) hitting Mommy. The mother was amazingly restrained. She calmly told her devil spawn to sit down and take a deep breath. In the meantime, I had quickly dressed and settled on my keepers. As I tiptoed past Fight Club, I overheard the mom quietly telling her kid that when she felt angry she needed to “use her words.”
So I’ve decided to use mine to describe the 2016 Republican presidential candidate:
Adamant climate change denier.
Extremely egocentric egomaniac (it’s that bad).
Former Hillary Clinton supporter.
Gold Star Family insulter.
Hand model for Cartier’s line of watches for boys.
Ivanka-lusting, incestuous perve.
Judge Gonzalo Curiel heritage basher.
Knows more about ISIS than the generals.
Late-night Twitter troll.
Making America hate again.
Nuclear code nightmare.
Orangey, thin skinned.
Purple Heart coveter.
Questionable grasp of foreign and domestic issues.
Speaker Ryan supporter (not really).
Trump U founder and fraud.
Unfit for the office of president, just ask Barack.
Vladimir Putin butt licker.
Whiny little bitch (thanks, Bill Maher).
Yes, he could win.
Zon-of-a-bitch, I already used zealot!