• author
    • Donald Sanders

    • February 8, 2014 in Columnists

    An important guy brings it full circle

    Ain’t it funny how things go full circle so the end goes right back to the beginning? It’s like my ancestors, who chopped down all the trees, took everything the local Indians had, and then killed all the animals and fish. Well, except maybe for my earliest known ancestor, Pettyplace the cannibal. He was too busy feeding his face.

    The point I’m trying to make is, the earliest member of my family did one thing and at the other end of the family line, which is me, I’m trying to fix what they did. They chopped down the trees and I help replant them with the Putah Creek Council’s help. Get it? Full circle, right. They killed the animals and I help the animals live right by building habitat for them. Full circle.

    You see, if you think about it, the first guy is as important as the last guy. When the circle comes around to where the first guy meets the last guys, they are pretty much in the same boat — equal. They could be doing the same thing or opposite, it doesn’t matter. So, in this instance, my first ancestor is an important guy and since I am the other end of the ancestry line, I am important too.

    You might not think I’m an important guy, but way down deep in your subconscious, you know it to be true. Deep down within you it is true. You think that Donald K. Sanders is one of the most important people in history. I’ll prove it to you. Here is a little quiz that will tell you your true feelings on this matter.

    Your options for most important historical persons are:
    1. Ben Franklin
    2. Abe Lincoln
    3. Tom Jones
    4. Maria Carry
    5. William the Great
    6. Genghis Kahn
    7. Adolf Hitler
    8. Ike Eisenhower
    9. Donald K. Sanders
    10. Deon Warwick

    Now follow the instructions below and you will find your subconscious answer.
    1. Pick a number from 1-9
    2. Multiply by 3
    3. Add 3.
    4. Multiply by 3 again.
    5. Now add the two digits together to find your predicted favorite historical person on the list.

    See, you love me and you didn’t even know it. Way down deep, you feel I’m the most important person in the history of man. Well, don’t worry — I’m going to start being an important guy first thing tomorrow.

    I like this. This is perfect. I might nominate myself for a Pulitzer Prize. Again.

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