• author
    • Terri Connett

    • May 2, 2017 in Columnists

    Dear France: Don’t do it!

    There’s a chance you’ll do the right thing on May 7 and elect Emmanuel Macron as your next president. France is, after all, the home of sophisticated, iconic brands like Channel, Dior and Givenchy. Paris is the world’s top tourist destination with the magnificent Eiffel Tower, the Louvre and the Notre Dame Cathedral.

    On the other hand, the French invented the guillotine and the Metric system. So-called actor, Gérard Depardieu is a Frenchman. Your self-proclaimed French Emperor, Napoleon Bonaparte, has doomed short men everywhere to lives of perpetual pissing matches.

    And then there’s Marine Le Pen.

    Your far-right (and way-wrong) candidate wants to leave the European Union and close your borders. When Marine Le Pen looks in the mirror, I bet she sees Donald Trump. And if that’s not scary enough, both Trump and Le Pen have been publicly praised by KKK idiot, David Duke. But that’s just the tip of the sameness iceberg between Le Pen and Trump, mes amies.

    Madame Le Pen has a racist father who jump-started her career. She mocks the European Parliament, of which she is a member. Le Pen is a self-proclaimed Nationalist with an anti-European and anti-immigrant platform. She is a Putin-praiser and was the only candidate of 11 who actually met with Vlad. She took out a personal loan from a Russian bank after she said French banks turned her down. Le Pen has vowed to pull France out of NATO and has called EU sanctions against Russia “unfair and silly.”

    Le Pen says her party is “not far-right but a patriotic champion of ordinary people of all races and religions.” And yet her platform is all about intolerance, xenophobia and protectionism.

    I hate to tell you this, but Marine Le Pen is the French, female version of a nightmare 60 percent of Americans can’t wake up from.

    Look, we get it. Your country has suffered gut-wrenching losses in terror attack after terror attack. From the January 2015 Charlie Hebdo murders, to the November Paris attack later that year, to the July 2016 Nice Bastille Day assault, to the recent police shooting at Champs-Elysees. Your fear is understandable. The cocooning case  is strong. But closing your borders to vetted, peaceful immigrants won’t stop terrorism. Remember, the terrorist who killed the policeman last month was a French national — one of yours.

    Since the caveman days, candidates have made wildly popular promises with no intent of fulfilling them. Our country fell for the best snake oil salesman of the viper nest. So let’s see how that’s working out.

    Muslim Ban Stalled by the courts
    Muslim Ban 2.0 Stalled by the courts
    Cancel Sanctuary City funding Stalled by the courts
    Repeal and replace Obamacare Stalled in the House
    NATO is obsolete NATO is not obsolete
    NAFTA to be terminated NAFTA to be renegotiated
    Drain the swamp Appointed swamp people to cabinet and staff
    Build a wall and Mexico will pay Nope

    Do you want what Le Pen wants? Or are you just so frustrated and fearful you are willing to blindly throw a Hail Mary pass and hope for the best? S’il vous plait. Don’t do it.

    Maybe it felt good to see your neighbors in the UK say FU to the EU. But that process won’t even be completed until March 2019. So there’s no way of knowing how it all works out. Why risk it?

    If you are still hell bent on shaking things up, I have the perfect solution. How about voting for the candidate who, at the age of 15, fell in love with his 39-year-old married drama teacher? Once the secret was out, that boy, Emmanuel Macron, was sent away to prep school by his parents. But young Emmanuel refused to give up on love and eventually came back for his former teacher. The couple married in 2007 when he was 28 and she was 52. They now live with her grown children from her first marriage. Emmanuel Macron’s stepson is actually two years older than he is and his stepdaughter is the same age.

    Scandalous? Yes. But for some reason a handsome 39-year-old man who is madly in love with his chic 63-year-old wife seems very French to me.

    On the other hand, the 23-year age gap between Le Pen’s male, American counterpart, Donald Trump and third wife Melania, is just universal rich white guy twaddle.

    Stay French, my friends.

      • Maya Spier Stiles North

      • May 13, 2017 at 1:25 am
      • Reply

      Thank mercy France had more sense. And I guess he pursued her — she just had the sense to see that it was a good thing, not preposterous. They’re a great couple and they will do right by France. The orange lamprey — ye gods…

    Leave a Comment