• author
    • Hannah Sullivan

    • July 2, 2013 in Columnists

    Desires for candy – the mad dash away from self-proclaimed nice guys

    As much as I love my buddy Matt, I love debating with him even more. We’ve been going back and forth about love and “nice guys” for years now.  Matt has been there for me for four years. He lets me know which guy is a dud and which one’s a keeper (and he rarely agrees with me). Do I listen to him? No. I’m a stubborn girl — what can I say? Sometimes my dear Matt Attack isn’t always right. (Sorry Matt!) The problem with us is we both think we’re right and clash on things, but that’s what makes our friendship great.

    The one thing in this world that I hate more than spiders and stubbed toes is self-proclaimed nice guys. Now, I have nothing against nice guys. I’d actually prefer a guy to be nice. The difference between an actual nice guy and these self-proclaimers is that he thinks girls owe him something just being he’s being nice. If you listen to me talk about my day that doesn’t mean I owe you a blowjob. That’s so off-putting.

    FYI — that’s not being nice at all, if you only do so to get something out of it. Stop putting yourself in the position of being that guy who can be my friend, listen to my problems, and then hang out with me. You’re a girlfriend with a penis. If you didn’t want to be in the friend zone, then be more aggressive. But not too aggressive — a happy medium.

    “I’m in the friend zone, everyone feel bad for me! Girls don’t know what they have with me and only date losers. They find guys who are like me but not as good.” First of all, those guys aren’t you for a reason. Second of all, the friend zone is a load of crap. If you’re a friend then you’re probably only going to be a friend. It’s because there’s either no attraction on her side or because she just doesn’t want to date you. Plain and simple. No need to bitch about it. Man up and move on.

    Whenever I meet a new guy, my cousin always tells me that he’s great now, but wait three months and his true colors will show. She’s never been wrong. I don’t know if I fully agree with her though, because I think everyone does this. You want this person to like you, right? So you just put aside your strange habits until you feel comfortable to let them out.

    Why do I crave what’s bad for me? Because it’s just so damn good. Tell me what’s better than chocolate and I’ll try to believe you. That’s like trying to convince me that bad boys aren’t sexy. Which they are. No way around it. I don’t know if it’s the subconscious need to find someone who is the exact opposite of our dads or just someone our parents will hate, but it’s probably a combination of the two.

    What I’ve learned about men and their mothers is watch carefully how he treats her. If he treats her right, he will most likely treat you right. If he’s a brat to her, then walk away. Also, if he is a momma’s boy, run far, far away.

    The only thing better than bitching to my friends is doing it over food. Girls are just better at talking about their feelings. You don’t see guys going out to dinner to talk about the annoying things their girlfriends do. We like to talk and see what everyone else thinks of a certain situation. Or maybe we just need to get something off our chests. Girls need their girlfriends. We also need our bitching time. It’s how we operate.

    Deep down, I really want to believe love lasts forever, but I’m starting to think it doesn’t.

    Hannah, why do you have to be so jaded?

    I’m jaded because no one has proven me wrong yet. I’ve been blindsided so many times that I feel like giving up. But I think we all know I’m too boy crazy for that.

    Now I want candy.


      • davidlacy

      • July 2, 2013 at 10:50 am
      • Reply

      Read the column that got Hannah Sullivan so fired up:


      • Andrea

      • July 2, 2013 at 7:41 pm
      • Reply

      ““I’m in the friend zone,….Man up and move on.” <— This right here girl!! VERY awesomely said! 😀 Sometimes no matter how nice someone is too, if there isn't a spark or physical attraction, it isn't meant to be. Nobody's at fault for that. Can't force that last puzzle piece even if everything else is in place.
      Again, great piece!

        • Hannah Sullivan

        • July 3, 2013 at 3:27 pm
        • Reply

        Thank you so much! It means a lot 🙂 Exactly, you can’t force it.

      • Maya North

      • July 4, 2013 at 12:46 pm
      • Reply

      I found a good man who takes my breath away — 28 years ago. They’re out there. 🙂 Nonetheless, I have also met the “I’m a good guy, so you owe me” types…

    • You know yourself best and as long as they treat you with respect and love, it’s all good. Sparks usually fly at once but sometimes they can win your heart. But if after a few dates no sparks, they may or may not be friend material.

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