• author
    • Maya Stiles Parsons Spier

      Columnist, Editor-in-Chief
    • January 2, 2017 in Columnists

    Donald Trump, sociopath, narcissist and hater-in-chief

    Sociopathy is the inability to process emotional experience, including love and caring, except when such experience can be calculated as a coldly intellectual task.

    Sociopaths cannot love, by definition they do not have higher values, and they almost never feel comfortable in their own skins. They are loveless, amoral, and chronically bored, even the few who become rich and powerful.

    If all you had ever felt toward another person were the cold wish to “win,” how would you understand the meaning of love, of friendship, of caring? You would not understand. You would simply go on dominating, and denying, and feeling superior. Perhaps you would experience a little emptiness sometimes, a remote sense of dissatisfaction, but that is all.

    Martha Stout, The Sociopath Next Door

    Trump at a campaign rally in Dallas, Tx., September 14, 2015. (Tom Pennington/Getty)

    Donald Trump, incoming hater-in-chief (Trump at a campaign rally in Dallas, Tx., September 14, 2015. (Tom Pennington/Getty))

    It’s gawdawful I’m on the second day of 2017, and there’s a good chance there are cyber attacks going on. My internet is squirrely. I can’t keep World of Warcraft up for more than a moment. Everything is slow and/or weird.

    I’m not surprised — this would be the time to expect them. There have been noises about security issues, many of which are pointed at the US because much of the world hates us — some with cause and some just because. All this hate which, in this case, is little more than an inconvenience and a tryer of patience, really gains them nothing. We don’t change. We just close ranks and figure out another way to block the attacks. It’s futile and so far we’ve been winning these skirmishes. It gains so little, but in the meantime, it devours the individual hater who never seems to understand that it costs them more than it does us.

    I confess to knowing hate. I hated the people who ran the juvenile institution for what they did to me and the other kids. I hate one specific individual because she harmed my child. I confess to hating Trump and I hate Hitler, too, long after his demise — I don’t care. I want to stomp on his ashes.

    I can also understand hate generated by specific actions. I know our government has perpetrated some seriously hate-worthy acts and people’s reactions to that are completely understandable. It would make a lot more sense if they just hated our government instead of the entire US population who generally don’t know anything until they read it in the news. But they hate all of us, which is as ridiculous as us hating all of them (whoever “them” are). As hubby found in the just-post-9/11 Middle East — they knew they couldn’t control their government and that we can’t control ours, so we might as well just be friends.

    Humans would do well to cultivate this attitude everywhere.

    Problem is, the Orange Lamprey’s incoming administration isn’t going to try to vanquish hate. No, it’s going to do what it can to increase it. It will do this for two reasons — because so many of them are haters themselves and because most, if not all, of them are absolutely indifferent to anything but their own self-interest.

    Obama, beloved as he is — and to me, most dearly — was not perfect. Hillary wouldn’t have been, either. But both of them truly understand love. Watch Obama with his family. Look at pictures of Hillary looking down at her grandchildren. Believe me, they love in the way that real people do — messily, imperfectly, tenderly, fiercely, sweetly, truly.

    Now watch Trump. This is a man who does not know how to love. He is incapable of it. He doesn’t love his family as people. To Trump, anything wonderful about his children is nothing more than a manifestation of what he believes is wonderful about himself. Anything good about his wife — and those who came before her — is a reflection of his ability to catch a woman who meets his standards and therefore demonstrates how wonderful he is. He is a sociopath and a narcissist. Psychologists and psychiatrists, while not legally permitted to officially diagnose him, say he meets every criteria. Such people are incapable of loving anything but themselves. As humor, my husband coined what he calls “the cry of the sociopath” — “I feel my pain!” It’s funny, but it’s also the agonizing truth. They absolutely feel their own pain and will cry over it quite sincerely. But they won’t feel yours. They can’t. They can’t love you, either. If your world is in flames, they will stare at you curiously as you burn, then walk away.

    So when people voted for this monster, assuming he loved our country as much as they do, not only were they underwriting every vile thing about him, they were voting for a man who is constitutionally incapable of loving America. He honestly doesn’t. Donald Trump loves himself and himself only. He doesn’t love this country and he doesn’t love her people and he particularly doesn’t love the people who voted for him. Not. A. Single. One.

    This lack of love has already manifested in his choices of appointees, his Twitter tantrums, his picking fights with China, his loyalty to Putin, who is playing him with nothing but disdain and contempt for this ridiculous upstart. It is particularly glaring in his appointees, many of whom are known to be virulent haters, particularly Bannon and Sessions, and that brings me back to where I started — hate.

    Bannon and Sessions are ghastly excuses for human beings. Bannon hates women, Jews and people of color and has expressed similar views regarding eugenics that Trump has in the past. Sessions has a well-documented track record as a racist. In business, people hire others who are just like themselves. Trump’s choosing these people tells me he’s a hater, too, but I think he hates pretty much everybody and if he doesn’t actively hate them at the moment, wait five minutes until they look at him cross-eyed. And whomsoever Trump hates, he hates permanently and targets with a view to destroying them. That his Twitter rants just make him look stupid doesn’t matter. The hate behind it, married to the position he’s assuming, makes him America’s deeply and desperately dangerous hater-in-chief.

    The Obama administration was not perfect, but it was based on a love of country and the people — all people — of America. Hillary’s administration — Bernie’s administration — either would have been based on the same principles. Trump’s administration is based on the same principles as drive Trump — self interest, sociopathic indifference, narcissistic focus and hate. And if we don’t get off the stick and fight this bastard with everything we are and have and stop him, not only we but our children and their children will be paying the consequences long after we are gone.




      • Terri Connett

      • January 5, 2017 at 4:57 pm
      • Reply

      GodDAMN, tell it Maya! I got a view of Putin’s congratulatory letter to Trump where he referred to the orange turd as “Your Excellency.” Check please?! 🙁

        • Maya Spier Stiles North

        • January 5, 2017 at 7:24 pm
        • Reply

        OMFG, “Your Excellency.” I just threw up in my mouth. Putin plays the Orange Lamprey like an angler plays a fish — on a hook. Why nothing and nobody is stopping this is beyond me.

      • HOLY SHIT.

    • I read “The Sociopath Next Door” last summer looking for enlightenment on a few people I know, and immediately, I recognized Trump. The man is dangerously mentally ill.

        • Maya Spier Stiles North

        • January 7, 2017 at 2:00 pm
        • Reply

        Yes. He is. And the protective response from nearly every single one of the spineless Democrats? Crickets…

        I have been a staunch Democrat for generations, but I am finally as angry with them. This vile orange lsmprey is a danger to the planet. We are going to have a madman at the helm and with his little baby finger on the button.

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