• author
    • Hannah Kozak

      Photographer and Blogger
    • January 6, 2013 in Photographers

    Forgiveness and compassion

    Forgiveness Compassion 2 from hannah kozak on Vimeo.

     

    When I was nine, my mother abandoned my family to have an affair. The man she left us for turned out to be violent; he beat her so badly that she suffered permanent brain damage and had to be moved into an assisted living facility where she still lives today; the longest living resident of 31 years. Of her five children, only my younger sister has visited her regularly over the years. Photography became my safety valve when I was 10.

    I have early, fond memories of my mother as a beautiful, passionate, vivacious, and fiery, Guatemalan Sophia Loren. But since she left us, I have had tremendous feelings of abandonment and rage towards her. Her actions led me to judge her as impetuous, selfish, reckless and a negligent mother. I resented what she did to herself and to her family. I carried so much anger, yet whenever I saw her, I was overcome with pity and sadness. Just looking at her gnarled hand from the brain damage brought forth more emotion than I could bear. For these reasons, I have virtually ignored my mother in an attempt to distance myself from my own pain…

     

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    • Hannah,this is so touching and heartfelt. Here is a link to the rest which would not come up here for me.



    • She is so beautiful. I try to imagine a young, vibrant woman so damaged she must live in a nursing home, and yet what she said to you is so transcendent. I can only imagine the journey you had to take to forgiveness. I have forgiven my abusive father and now our relationship is of pure tenderness. I sense he will pass sooner than I can bear (even though he is 90); the effort I made to bridge the gap to love has been entirely worthwhile…



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