• author
    • Hannah Sullivan

      Columnist
    • November 19, 2014 in Columnists

    Hannah is: putting an end to the comparison game

    As I sit here logged onto Facebook, eating a cup of diced peaches with many unfinished columns looming over me, I can’t help but play the comparison game. I can’t help comparing my life to what could have been or to what other people have that I don’t. It’s a terrible little game my mind and I play. It’s like the rational side of myself can’t keep the irrational side in check.

    Gobbling down the last spoonful, I realize that my generation should be very thankful that social media was not as popular when we were young as it is now. Could you imagine?

    Hannah is: eating peaches.

    Hannah is: bored.

    Hannah is: going to bed. Goodnight internet!

    I know people of all ages who do this now but I can only imagine the stupid things I would have posted when I was younger. Sometimes just for fun, I will log onto Myspace (when I can actually remember my password), and I just sit there and cringe at everything. What was I thinking back then? On second thought, if I go back a couple years on Facebook, I can find a lot of cringe-worthy things too.

    People like to post how happy they are on social media. Their life is so perfect on the internet but I often wonder if these posts reflect their real lives or the lives they are trying to maintain for appearances. Not everyone can be spewing out rainbows and breathing sunshine all the time. Or am I just cynical?

    I see people I went to middle school with who already have Big Girl jobs and I’m just sitting over here, like, when am I going to graduate college?

    I know, I know — not every journey is going to be the same but it’s hard to feel optimistic when you’re finishing last in the race of life. I know, I know — it’s not a race but it sure feels that way sometimes. Amirite? I know I can’t be the only one who thinks this way.

    So and so just made it Facebook official.

    Gag!

    Does anyone else get FB notifications when people do anything with their relationship statuses? I do. One time it told me this girl I never even talk to is getting engaged. Way to rub it in, FB!

    Oh, my honey is so sweet. Look at the 52 new pictures I took on our five minute car ride today.

    No one cares. Maybe your mom, if she’s your FB friend, but that’s about it. Do you know how many people I have hidden from my timeline because they go post-happy about their relationships? The best way to save your relationship is to keep it off the internet. In my experience, it works. Because when you’re both fighting and scrolling through your newsfeed to see all the happy couples, you are going to become resentful.

    I do this all the time. I compare my… I don’t even know what to call it to my friends’ relationships. What I’ve learned, after countless nights being irrational about things, is that if it works for you — then it works. If you aren’t in the typical relationship but are falling madly in love with this person — then it works. Like I’ve said before, not every relationship is cookie cutter but it’s hard to remember this when playing the comparison game.

    So how do you make it stop? How do you tap out of this game?

    Don’t get me wrong, I love having FB and I’m not trying to blame social media. I also don’t know a thing about Twitter or Instagram, so sorry I didn’t mention them. I have one, I just don’t ever use it. It’s just so easy to sign on feeling good and then looking at certain things that make you feel, for a lack of a better word, blah.

    This isn’t all the time either. I have a lot of hilarious friends who post the best things. I also “like” a lot of funny pages as well. Facebook is a time-passer, so it’s easy to get swept away in whatever mood FB is in that day. I see it all from pictures of baby animals to the horrible things happening in our world. Social media is an outlet for most, but that doesn’t mean you have to be along for the ride.

    The way to make it stop is to either log out or to simply ignore/”hide” those people. Why deal with that negativity if it’s affecting your emotional state? You are amazing! You deserve love and happiness and everything you’ve ever wanted!

    Don’t play the comparison game. It’s too easy to blame others or to be jealous. Make them be jealous of you (maybe not the right thing to say, but you know what I mean). Life isn’t a game and it’s not a race. We’ll all get where we’re going someway or another. If you need tunnel vision to get there, then do it. “Like” all those pages with motivational quotes and let that consume your newsfeed instead. We are better than this. Let’s not get sucked in!



    • I think you, like I, are starting to seen through the veneer of social media, and see it for what it is: cesspool of friction and a HUGE waste of time. And yet… I wouldn’t have “met” you or many others without it. It’s a double-edged sword.


        • Hannah Sullivan

        • November 19, 2014 at 8:02 pm
        • Reply

        Exactly! We can’t win.


      • Maya North

      • November 20, 2014 at 12:15 am
      • Reply

      For good or ill, it’s what you make of it. My life as an iPinioneer came from what Amy Ferris calls “Gracebook.” It’s a huge tool for social change. Or you can be an unmitigated shit. I think I’ve done both 😉 😀


      • Kat

      • November 22, 2014 at 6:55 am
      • Reply

      Facebook is a highlight reel of everyone’s life. Behind all the fancy pictures and rolling good times there is an equal amount of heart break and angst distributed. Generally those screaming the loudest that they have happy, glorious lives are muddling in their own puddle of mire. Now I crave peaches, THANKS HANNAH!



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