• author
    • Terri Connett

      Columnist
    • December 29, 2017 in Columnists

    Here are my forbidden seven

    The Washington Post broke the story that President Moron’s administration instructed the Centers for Disease Control to avoid seven words and phrases while writing their 2019 budget request. A Health and Human Services spokesman denied it. But I’m sticking with the Post.

    The malevolent seven are – diversity, entitlement, evidence-based, fetus, science-based, transgender, and vulnerable.

    Really?

    Okay, fine.

    I would like the following seven words and phrases erased from the ethos.

    1. Collusion.
    Every chance Trump gets, he prematurely proclaims, “No collusion. Absolutely no collusion here. No way. Even my enemies say there’s no collusion. None. Nope. Nu-uh. Nothing here. Nyet. No, no YOU’RE the puppet.”

    But by definition – a secret agreement or cooperation especially for an illegal or deceitful purpose – it sure seems like collusion to me. Secret meetings with our enemy in an attempt to “get dirt” on Hillary and help Trump win the presidency. Mike Flynn promised to “rip up” sanctions. Facebook ads were paid for in rubbles. What else would you call it?

    2. Fake news.
    President Muttonhead actually thinks he invented the phrase. He rambled to Mike Huckabee, “The media is really, the word, one of the greatest of all terms I’ve come up with, is ‘fake.’ I guess other people have used it perhaps over the years but I’ve never noticed it.”

    Where to start, where to start.

    Okay, first of all you didn’t invent it, you idiot. Just because you’ve never heard of it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. You were shocked to learn our Emancipation President was a Republican while reading a speech earlier this year. You said, “Most people don’t know that Lincoln was a Republican.”

    Yes. We did. We all knew it.

    And here’s another news flash for you, President Shitforbrains. When you close your eyes, we don’t disappear. We haven’t gone anywhere. We’re still here, on the other side of your eyelids.

    But back to the flim-flam-fake-news scam, we know exactly what you’re doing. Once the shit hits the fan, you’re gonna blame the fan.

    Not only do you shoot the messenger, you gut the horse he rode in on (sorry, Sassy). You go on to viciously discredit the messenger as far back as Ancestry.com has leaves. Further, you delegitimize entire news agencies and call the free press “the enemy of the people.”

    No, President Jackass, our access to the free press is guaranteed under the First Amendment. So piss off.

    3. Uranium One.
    Okay, buckle up kids.

    Uranium One is a Canadian-based company with mining stakes in the Western United States. In 2010, Rosatom, the Russian nuclear energy agency, acquired a controlling stake in Uranium One. That move required the approval of the Committee on Foreign Investments in the United States.

    Still with me? Okay.

    That foreign committee has nine members, including the secretaries of the treasury, defense, homeland security, commerce, energy and state (here’s where Hillary comes in); the attorney general and representatives from two White House offices. So Hillary was just one of nine votes.

    During the election, Hillary had promised to disclose all donations made to the Clinton Foundation. But millions in donations from those with ties to Uranium One were not disclosed. Jesus, Hillary!

    Of course no Clinton scandal would be complete without Bill making a bundle at a speaking engagement. And sure enough, after the Rosatom-Uranium One merger was announced, and four months before it was approved, Bill Clinton spoke at a conference in Moscow for a reported $500,000. Jesus Christ, Bill!

    But to be clear, Uranium One did not, and cannot, export uranium to any country outside of the United States without U.S. approval. And now, that’s under the Trump administration’s jurisdiction. And to put it all into perspective, a September 2017 report by the U.S. International Trade Commission stated, “Uranium One is responsible for no more than 5.9 percent of domestic uranium production.”

    Look, I get it, the whole thing smells fishy. If I was a Republican (shudder) I’d go after it to. But I think this is more about the Clinton’s shitty attitude that the rules don’t apply to them. For me, it’s really hard to find a link to anything nefarious. And apparently, the FBI felt the same way.

    But to appease his bully boss, Attorney General Jeff Sessions has asked his Justice Department to put the screws to the FBI over their findings, or lack thereof.

    And now it’s “Second Christmas” for all the Clinton-haters.

    4. Coup.
    Sorry, Fox Spews, no coup here. The FBI is nothing like the KGB. You can’t “shut down” the FBI. The “Robert Mueller probe” is not a coup. The Special Counsel is a check and a balance on the executive branch. Just the way our forefathers, and Jesus, wanted it.

    5. Dossier.
    A pretty word, dossier comes from the French and signifies a bundle of documents. Now all I think of is a gaggle of Russian hookers pee peeing on President Germaphobe.

    6. MAGA.
    Make America Great Again is code for dialing the clock back to the good old days when women and people of color were “less than.” When Trump’s boy, Roy Moore,  was asked when the last time America was great, he said, “I think it was great at the time when families were united — even though we had slavery — they cared for one another…. our country had a direction.”

    And for the record, the questioner was as African-American man in the audience at a September rally.

    7. Omarosa.
    I can’t say it any better than the fabulous Robin Roberts.

    Bye, Felicia.



    • Fabulous! I am your biggest fan!
      I’d like one other word banned… TRUMP.
      May he disappear from our awareness!!!


        • Terri Connett

        • December 29, 2017 at 12:50 pm
        • Reply

        Likewise, I’m sure Debra! Yes I only want to hear TRUMP LOCKED UP!! 🙂


      • Carolyn Wyler

      • December 29, 2017 at 9:45 am
      • Reply

      Wow!!! Fabulous IS the word to use for this column. I laughed and cried so much I almost pee’d in my dossier. I love how many different names you came up with for “one who shall not be named” President.


        • Terri Connett

        • December 29, 2017 at 12:52 pm
        • Reply

        Ha Ha Carolyn! Yes we must keep our dossiers dry. 🙂 And thanks for noticing all the names. One of my goals in the piece.



    • Ha, This is pretty good! Sums everything up in a tight little funny bundle for me. I’m going to have to share this so my “Freaky Family” can check it out! Well done!


        • Terri Connett

        • January 4, 2018 at 8:23 am
        • Reply

        Thanks, Donald! My freaky family probably wouldn’t be open to it. And good play on the word “bundle.” As in “dossier?”



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