• I choose not to be in the gutter

    “Best line of the day: Men’s minds are all in the gutter.

    Me: Yes, what they don’t realize is women are paving the streets above while they are busy playing in the sewage.

    Keepin it real.”  Heather Alani

    Men’s minds ARE in the gutter.  I suppose the column had ended.

    Hold on, John Wayne.

    As a card-carrying member of the male gender, I realize the reputation men have to think and act like dogs.  In a lot of ways, we have earned that reputation with persistence and perseverance.  We earned our reputation with our pee-pees.

    Scientific breakthroughs, nation building, nation conquering, winning super bowls, starting fashion trends, philosophy, indoor plumbing (imagine your life without it) and other breakthroughs are all things men have had a steady hand in developing while thinking about naked women (occasionally naked men).  What I’m saying here is despite what men do, sex is always the background noise of our minds.  Sex is the carrot that is constantly dangled inside our reptilian minds.

    It’s a pain in the ass.

    Ok, everyone roll their eyes and say “bullshit” collectively.  I can hear the Feminists chuckle.

    I have no reason to complain as a man. Despite hardline patriarchy disintegrating slowly across the world, I still personally benefit being born a man for simply being born a man.  The phallus is the symbol that you have the keys to the kingdom.  Ok, let’s all get beyond the obvious points and get to my point.

    Women are having their day.  The world as we currently understand it in a historical context is rapidly changing.  Of course, this causes a certain boomerang effect caused by certain conservative (not always political) people to grip onto and hold tight the present.  The social hierarchies are starting to become unrecognizable as the balance of power shifts.  In my time, America will have its first female president (not Hillary but that’s another story for another day).

    Indeed we are seeing women start to pave the way as more and more women are accepted into positions of power.

    So where does this leave men in the world?  What are men to do?

    First off, the clubhouse meetings are still held on the 1st and 15th of every month.  Just look for the sign that says No Girls Allowed.

    In all seriousness. this is an opportunity for men to do some real soul-searching.  Long gone will be the days of men pumping their fists declaring how awesome they are.  If you want to be awesome, you need to earn the awesome-sauce.  We have to step our game up.

    It’s like all those idiotic ’80s movies in which a guy makes out with some random girl and somehow he becomes a hero.  I made out with a lady the other day — I am not a hero.  If you want to be worthy of worship, you must do something God-like that has nothing to do with your gender.

    As egalitarian as I would like to be and I wish society would be, the differences between men and women are stark.  However, just because someone is different doesn’t mean they are lesser than or bad.  Isn’t variety the spice of life?  Shouldn’t women keep us on our toes?  As men, we have a chance to be something other than typical males.

    We can be something besides a socially constructed nothing.  Men can also break their molds.  Fellas, we have choices and perhaps one day too we can be something besides our biology.

    Our minds might be in the gutter, but we can choose to not be in the gutter.


      • Kathleen Brotherton

      • June 27, 2014 at 9:31 am
      • Reply

      I think “typical males” get a tough rap. First and foremost of all, the constant buzz of the need to procreate buzzing around in the male psyche keeps the species alive and thriving. I don’t prescribe to a lot of the dictates of feminism. I wish I didn’t have to be a “POWER WOMAN” and work full time during the years my children would have benefited from being home, nurtured. My last baby I had to go back to work a week after I had him and it affected our bonding. I worked in the automotive business for years in a traditional *male* position. Trying to be competitive with a man who had the support of a wife to care for his children while trying to care for my own and work the same hours. Impossible hence I NO longer work in the car business and work a non managerial position that allows me to meet my duties as a Mom. I think the differences between men and women were designed to compliment each other.

      So far as minds being in the gutter, I think dependent upon the age bracket we are referring, you will find women have become quite liberated in our sexual evolution. We too are lustful creatures that won’t think twice about sexually objectifying the likes of Channing Tatum. Just ask Heather Alani. 😉



    • I just finished paving cranston, after fantasizing about channing tatum. What were you saying? 🙂


      • Kathleen Brotherton

      • June 30, 2014 at 5:32 am
      • Reply

      I was saying doesn’t Channing’s backside look fooooiiine in those jeans?



    • Yeah point is when quoting me…ah hem..men’s minds are in the gutter…While women are busy paving the streets ahead. Women lust and get it done. This shit doesn’t go on every three minutes all day. I didn’t make the rules, friend. I just obey them. Onward forward. It’s not the ah…”focus”



    • Ha ha ha. The edge you had on men in the “male” car industry is you had more time to get it done. Thus the others checking out every set of boobs or legs that walk in the door. Plus, you had to set to throw and around and distract them with. Baboom! One more win in the titty court.



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