• author
    • Terri Connett

    • June 2, 2015 in Columnists

    I smell wedding cake

    The United States Supreme Court has a big decision to make by the end of this month. When they rule on Obergefell v. Hodges, they will resolve two major issues:

    • Can individual states prevent same-sex couples from marrying?
    • If yes – must those states recognize the gay marriages of 37 states (including Washington D.C.)?

    Ted Cruz, Bobby Jindal, Marco Rubio, Rick Perry, Mike Huckabee, Scott Walker, Rick “Frothy” Santorum and Pope Francis all claim same sex marriage is a “threat” to traditional marriage. But just how does the love of two men or two women threaten anybody else’s union?

    Aren’t those who choose to be single a bigger threat to the tradition of marriage than those who find love but just happen to be named Bob and Bill? Or what about infidelity? Isn’t that a real affront to the sanctity of marriage?

    The majority of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists and agnostics are not threatened by each other’s strong beliefs. Some even fall in love and marry across religious lines.

    Do meat lovers threaten vegetarians? Hell no. Pizza Hut gives each side their very own version and everybody gets along just fine.

    Recent polling shows over 60 percent of Americans are cool with it. So if Justices Kennedy and/or Roberts vote the way they should, the Fourteenth Amendment will finally protect the rights of all Americans under the Constitution.

    But to all the freaked out homophobes who are going to have a cow, please allow me to nip a couple of your lame arguments right in the teet.

    The children will suffer.  Not true. Most research shows children who have two moms or two dads fare just as well as children of traditional marriages. If you are concerned about the welfare of American kids, focus on the 16 million (22 percent) of our children who are living at, or below, poverty levels. Or how about concentrating on the neglected and abused offspring of your “ideal” traditional marriages!

    It goes against nature.  Says who? If homosexuals are born that way, then heterosexuality goes against their nature. Me thinks thou art too focused on what sexual organ fits where. Get over it.

    Gay marriage validates the lifestyle. Wrong. It isn’t about “approval.” Same sex marriage is about equality. You don’t get to deny a spouse visitation rights or survivor benefits. And while we’re on the subject, bisexuals and transgender folks deserve their civil rights too without you getting all creeped out over Caitlyn Jenner on the cover of Vogue.

    This just opens the floodgates. Oh please. Some jackass always predicts that gay marriage will lead to polygamy, incest, pedophilia and yes, bestiality. One of those aforementioned donkeys, GOP presidential hopeful, Dr. Ben Carson, compared homosexuality to pedophilia and bestiality in an interview with Sean Hannity last year. No reasonable person would find a connection between a loving, same-sex couple and crimes like sexually abusing children or fucking goats.

    It makes God sad. This always ends with you playing the Bible card. I hate to break it to you, but God didn’t write the Bible. It’s actually a collection of fables, folk lore, lessons and metaphors that were told and retold and interpreted and misinterpreted over time.

    I know you’re going to ignore that and spout off Leviticus 20:13. “If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.”

    And that’s where you tilt your head and drop the mic.

    Not so fast LL Fool J.

    Let’s back it up to Leviticus 20:10 “If a man cheats on his wife, or vice versa, both the man and the woman must die.” Do you follow that one to the letter too? Or how about the one that tells you to kill all the people in a town you are visiting if they don’t worship your God? Do you eat your own children when you are besieged by your enemy and happen to be low on chow? And if you do give in to gluttony, you are told to put a knife to your own throat. If your daughter turns out not to be a virgin on her wedding night, all the men in the city have the green light to drag her to your front door and stone her to death. It’s a sin if you eat seafood, work on the Sabbath or wear clothing woven of two different materials.

    I think you see where this is going.

    You don’t get to cherry-pick thousands of years worth of tales from the crypt to make your case against a couple’s love for one another.

    It’s none of your business.

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