I’m a Grandpa and a Happy Man
by Donald K. Sanders
I have a new granddaughter that I have yet to lay eyes upon. I have seen pictures galore but they can never compare with actually holding her and looking at her face. Looking into her eyes for the first time will be a thrill that will be with me until I close my eyes upon this Earth.
Eventually when she sets eyes upon me, she’ll know that I am her grandfather. She will know that she is safe with me and that I love her and her brother in a big, big way. They will love me too, however, they may think I’m a little eccentric for a grandpa.
She was born Sophia Marie on Sunday, Jan. 30, to Rick and Tanya Silva. Her parents are my kids. Others may lay claim upon them but they are my kids and they always will be. No one can take that from me, ever.
Tanya is a daughter of Russia. She is everything that is the best of this world. She is a savvy businesswoman at the dawn of self-awareness in the corporate world. Tanya has the prettiest face and the sharpest of minds, a deadly combination in the world of international finance. I suspect that she will someday rule the world.
She is a world class athlete — an Olympian of the Salt Lake City games. A shining star of Eastern Europe that took this turn and that, one adventure after another, until she and I came face to face and she became my daughter. That’s right, my daughter, not yours — mine!
My son Rick is pretty smart too. He and Tanya came face to face at the Salt Lake games, and he knew what he had found and he didn’t want to let her go. He followed her to one of the coldest places on Earth: Siberia.
While drinking equal amounts of vodka and dancing the Barynya with a bottle balanced on his head, my son Rick asked her family for the hand of their daughter in marriage. After wrestling her father and brother, discussing international politics (without offending them or throwing up in their house) he convinced them that he would be a good husband to their daughter. Naturally, after the boxing match with her uncles and a few cousins, they all shook hands and drank some more vodka.
Today, they live in the Silicon Valley. He teaches and she coaches young athletes while working as a financial analyst for a large computer-oriented corporation. It couldn’t get any better for me. Two grandchildren now and I don’t know how many more I can get out of them, but I still have two other kids that are capable of pitching in.
Yes, I’d like to say that I arranged the whole thing, but you wouldn’t believe me anyway. I don’t like the aging thingy, but I love being a grandpa and a father. I guess my wife had a little to do with it, so I thought I’d better mention her even though I taught her everything that she knows.
When I met her she was running barefoot in the backwoods of Santa Clara. Heehaw! We sure had fun chasing those goats through the trees. We chased them until we couldn’t chase them no more. In those days, I was so stupid that I didn’t even know what I had found.
It was only after months of torture and interrogation from 1,000 or more of her brothers, sisters, cousins and friends that I was allowed to be introduced to her parents.
I don’t think that they took to me right off because her dad keyed my car door with a switch blade. He drew a skull and crossbones, pointed at it and said, “Keep that in mind boy. Don’t you ever hurt my daughter.” He laughed at me and said that I scream like a little girl. The two oldest sons kicked me all the way to the corner and told me not to come back.
Eventually, after my future wife turned me down eight times for a date, I was able to sneak up on her and kissed her in a local park. After that, she could not resist my affections and finally recognized what a handsome man that I really am and married me.
The rest of what you have read here is mostly the truth and I might have to change a few things later, but the end result is the same. I am a grandpa and I am a happy man.