• author
    • Matthew Najmowicz

    • December 18, 2014 in Columnists

    I’m making fun of North Korea! Come get me, Kim Jong Un!

    Sony Pictures decided to indefinitely delay the release of the new Seth Rogen and James Franco movie, “The Interview,” after threats of alleged terrorist retaliation from the almighty powerful nation of North Korea. When I think of powerful nations, I think of North Korea (NK). NK, a nation that can’t feed its people, apparently has the power to conduct some sort of terrorism operation here in the United States if “The Interview” is released to the theaters.

    Want to know what my response is to “The Interview” being pulled because of Kim Jong Un? If you were here, you could smell my response. Oh, man. Especially on taco night. Let’s put on some gas masks and continue.

    Sony decided to tuck tail and hide because they’re afraid of retaliation. Really? This is America now? It was bad enough when George W Bush told everyone to keep shopping after the 9-11 attacks. Now I have to be afraid of Kim Jong Un aka Lil Kim? I have to be afraid of a puke who can’t feed his own people and threatens nuclear annihilation to get foreign aid? He hurts his foot and disappears for two weeks and gets the whole world nervous that he was part of a political coup? Is this guy a political mastermind or a goddamn idiot?

    Source: guestofguest.com

    Kim Jong Un (Lil Kim) Source: guestofguest.com

    Kim Jong Un is a ruthless moron who successfully kills, tortures, and starves his own people. I bet Lil Kim doesn’t even have a Twitter or Facebook account, and yet he was able to fool the Founding Fathers and neuter the 1st Amendment. Lil Kim doesn’t have a smartphone. He hasn’t even seen a vagina up close before. He probably sucks at Tetris. And yet he’s destroying American values of expressing oneself?

    I very much doubt he has a well-trained and organized terrorist cell in the United States. Osama Bin Laden had one. Know why Osama had one? The CIA trained Osama to be a super spy. The only training Lil Kim had was toilet training. I hope he doesn’t miss the bowl especially with as much cheese he allegedly eats.

    Really? Lil Kim is going to destroy America? FOX News does a better job with lame anchors. Except for Megyn Kelly — sup boo!

    Couldn’t Lil Kim find Disney’s “Frozen” more objectionable? Why not declare Angelina Jolie an enemy of the state and put the movie “Maleficent” out of its misery? Any movie with Jennifer Aniston should be put on a watch list. Lob a missile at Adam Sandler. Instead, you need to bother my main man Seth Rogen. You pathetic ninny.

    I am really shocked at Sony being scared of a guy who has a Flowbee haircut. Seriously, look at this dude’s haircut. All the chicks in high school made fun of him. I bet his father found him annoying. He probably sucked at chess.

    In all seriousness, OK, this guy is scary to his own countrymen and also his neighbor, South Korea. I’m not making light of how he treats his own people. There are reports of Lil Kim killing his uncle by unleashing a pack of 120 ravenous dogs upon his own uncle. Absolutely sick. Lil Kim is a sick monster, but he is a sick monster only capable of destroying his own country, economy and people.

    I say to Lil Kim: I am going to make fun of you. Anytime you wish to lob a nuclear warhead, I’ll give you my address. Aim your warhead to Johnston, Rhode Island. Dear Leader, I await your nuclear warhead. Don’t disturb my cats, please.

    Actually, want to know what I think of both of those cowards, Lil Kim and Sony Pictures?

    Seth Rogen and James Franco  Source: Sony Pictures

    • Sony didn’t cancel showings, the movie theaters (CYA) did. They were afraid of the threats. Bad decision. But it is about the money and who would sue if something happened. I am going with the theory being floated that it was former employees of Sony who had the real axe to grind.

    • Ha, you are too much.

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