I’m sorry I read your journal
A few weekends ago, a friend of mine found someone’s journal (yes, we turned it in to a lost and found). I mean, of course we opened it, why wouldn’t we? Invasion of privacy? Maybe, but that went out the window as soon as you left your stuff behind. Anyways, there were pretty normal looking things written on only a few pages — a bunch of shopping lists, to-do lists and things to bring up at a doctor’s appointment.
And then we found it — the sad page of the journal.
I only felt guilty for looking when we found that page. It was like looking into someone’s mind. There was a lot of negative and no positive. This person must have really been hurting and it seemed as though they couldn’t say all these things out loud yet. They couldn’t face the person causing them so much pain. I don’t blame them one bit. Confrontation is a hard thing to do.
Do you know your journal is lost, stranger? You must be going crazy since I noticed you had important looking bank information written down as well. I’m an honest person, so don’t worry about that. I can only imagine the amount of stress you are feeling knowing it is gone. Imagine for a moment someone found your journal, notebook, diary, or whatever. How would you feel? My journal is for my eyes only. I find it is easier to sort through my feelings when I can see them written down. It’s just personal enough where I would be worried if someone found it. I don’t use names — just initials. I write down random things I like, doodles, major feelings and conflicts. Things I won’t remember and things I wish I could forget. Every once in a while, if I’m lucky, I will write down happy thoughts. I love going back and reading what I wrote from ages ago. My favorite thing to do while reading old entries is to write positive messages in the margins. Oh, this boy broke your heart? Well, he is still an asshole and you are a goddess.
Other people’s handwriting fascinates me. Mine is probably the messiest penmanship you will ever see. Your handwriting was a little messy and written in cursive. This led me to believe that you are a little bit older? Can you even tell age or sex from handwriting?
We control how much we allow others into our heads until something like this happens. We share pictures, thoughts, statuses, tweets, YouTube videos and even columns to let people in. People commenting and sharing is like a little piece of acceptance. How many journals do you think are lost each year and found by someone else? There should be a global lost and found for journals.
I’m really sorry for reading your journal, stranger. I hope you’re not mad at me for sharing this experience. I really wanted to leave you notes like I leave for myself, but I was afraid you would be embarrassed if you knew for sure someone peeked. You are worth it — trust me. Tell that person to hit the road. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Because I saw your journal, I will allow you to see mine to bring balance to this situation. Sending good vibes your way, stranger.