• Jerk-off of the Week: Phil Jackson and his book

    Former Los Angeles Lakers and Chicago Bulls head coach Phil Jackson has been making the media rounds this week promoting his new memoir.  Displayed on the book cover are his 11 championship rings from coaching in the NBA. 

    Don’t mind me while I roll my eyes. 

    It’s easy to hate on the NBA’s most decorated coach. I include myself as one of the haters.  I know what people would say to me — count the rings.  I have counted the rings.  But allow me to explain why this jerk-off annoys me.

    I have never seen a coach who has been luckier than him.  I’m not just talking lucky like winning $100 on a scratch lottery ticket lucky, or being Brittany Spears’ dancer and then husband for a few years.  They say that you have better odds of being hit by lightning than winning Powerball — well then, consider Phil Jackson being bolted by lightning twice a day every day.  You can literally put a lightbulb into his ass and watch it glow for weeks.

    Phil Jackson coached the greatest shooting guard ever in Michael Jordan and one of the greatest small forwards of his generation, Scotty Pippen in Chicago.  I could’ve played center for the Chicago Bulls during that time and they still would’ve dominated the basketball world with six world championship titles. Later on in Phil Jackson’s career, he moved to Los Angeles only to have Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal fall into his lap — considered both the greatest in their positions in that generation of players.

    The so-called Zen master has been all over TV, and I must say for a guy who has won as much as he has, I think he suffers from an inferiority complex.  He isn’t trying to sell his book — he’s trying to sell himself.  It’s a bit pathetic.

    Phil Jackson, you are an unconscionable ball-breaker.  Why on Earth do you need to remind us constantly that you coached teams to all those titles?  Want to really impress me?  Go to the worst team on the NBA and coach them.  Go to a team that doesn’t have the best player on the planet and coach them to a title.  Do to that team what Larry Brown did for the Detroit Pistons did in 2004 when we beat you so bad you ran out of town. 

    Phil Jackson, you are a hack.    

     

     


      • Terri Connett

      • May 27, 2013 at 10:47 am
      • Reply

      As usual, you make me laugh out loud! Loved it!!



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