• Learned a Thing or Two About Women

    by Donald K. Sanders

    Women! Women are always meddling. They’re never happy and they are constantly snooping and complaining about things they don’t like. Will it never end?

    If it were left up to them, we would all take a bath everyday. They want us to eat more vegetables, watch our P’s and Q’s, and wipe our feet before we go into the house. Mud fighting is out of the question.

    Women want to transform the world, so now they call themselves activists. It’s not just one or two of them. All of them want to change something. You can name anything, anything at all, and I’ll guarantee that some women don’t like it or they want to change it.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love women. I’m just a little confused about what they want and why. It’s always been this way for me, as far back as I can remember.

    Raised in a dormitory full of only boys, I was in my mid-teens before I had the opportunity to interact with girls. Thus, I had to learn some hard lessons, like girls don’t react the same way as boys when you kick them between the legs. I found that they will chase you down and beat you mercilessly until you scream for help.

    Boys, on the other hand, will give you more respect if you fight them and stand your ground. Everybody knows that first comes the fight and then comes the peace. Ask anybody.

    Not women, hell no! To them it is the outcome of the struggle that matters so enormously. They want to fight until they get what they want. Geez, that ain’t right!

    Believe me, I have always wanted to understand women. I have gone way past the norm in my efforts to make them happy — way past. I even went so far as to take a class in the “Psychology of Women.” Can you believe that? Women have psychology!

    I’ll tell you what, when I walked into that classroom seeing nothing but women, I decided to sit way in the back by the fire door. So here I am, sitting in the back of a classroom full of “activists.” It was really terrifying.

    I was sitting there trying not to look at them because I didn’t want them to consider me a sexist. I didn’t know what to do until in walked the instructor, Dr. Karen McCord. Little did I know the effect that this little African American woman would have on my mind.

    The very first thing that she did was to ask me why I was sitting so close to the back door. She said, “Are you going to try to escape?” I just sat there with a crap-eating grin. She began to speak.

    Everything she said was like music from some beautiful instrument that was somehow unknown to man. The expanse of her mind was responsible for my wanting to learn more about everything. John Wayne and Jerry Lewis went out the door at that moment. I had a new role model and mentor and she was a woman and an African American. Geez, heaven help me!

    It was from her, that I would learn what women want. They don’t want flowers and candy. They want equality and they use something called “women’s empowerment” to get it. I found that women were no longer activists, they were “feminists.”

    It’s not just one of them either — they all want it. Every single one of them, all around the world, want equality. Dr. McCord taught me that even the most insignificant, unknown, person can have a huge impact on women’s rights. People you’ve never heard of. Like in 2003, one million Moroccan women signed a petition that changed Muslim views on marriage, polygamy and divorce. They inspired one million women in Iran to do the same.

    Betcha never heard of Claudette Colvin. At the age of 15, she refused to give up her seat on a Montgomery bus, nine months before Rosa Parks. For her effort, she was arrested, cuffed, beaten and shunned by her community. It was she that was at the center of the Supreme Court case of Browder vs. Gayle that ended in the reversal of the Jim Crow laws.

    Women have become the new growth engine for international business practices. Many businesses are already deploying their assets to improve the lives of women in the emerging global markets. Say what you will about Condoleezza Rice and Hillary Clinton, but they are first class feminists and they made their own footprints. They are leading because they had no one to follow.

    • Wow- you took a class on Women’s Psychology? I’m impressed!
      Now go wipe your feet before you get mud all over the carpet.

      : )

    • Donald, someone read this column in the Express and informed me that he was sure you are a misogynist. I told him he didn’t “get” you. I totally “get” you! 🙂

      • Judy

      • May 29, 2011 at 10:16 am
      • Reply

      Loved that last line. Your columns always give me a lift.

    • I understand this completely as I am women, hear me roar.

    • Thanks to all. Debra I don’t know where that misogynist thingy came from. I think women are simply capital. How can a guy that is as intelligent as I am dislike women. In my long life, I have disliked only one woman. However, some women have had a problem with me. My second wife broke my nose with a sucker punch. It gave me two black eyes and it looked like she just beat the hell out of me. All this with one punch. We had separated and was angry because I wouldn’t go back to what was our home.
      Hollye, too late, the mud trail is already there. When my wife gets home from her sabbatical, she is going to kill me when she sees her new car. My friend Steve and I had a little mud on our feet! Well the damn car hates me anyway.

      • Norbie

      • May 29, 2011 at 9:47 pm
      • Reply

      “It’s not just one of them either — they all want it. Every single one of them, all around the world, want equality…” (O.K. Donald, but how do you explain Sarah Palin & Michelle Bachmann??)

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