• author
    • Amy Ferris

    • November 20, 2014 in Bloggers

    Live your life to the nines

    in about two weeks i’m turning 60. six oh. and i don’t feel 60. and to be balls-out honest, i’m not really sure what 60 is supposed to feel like. but this is what i absolutely fucking know, 60 is not the new 18, or 25, or 40. 60 is the new improved sexy awesome 60.

    it is a life well worn, well lived, well intended, and finally, well tended to. i have lived many lives in 60 years. the young girl who didn’t know who she was, and didn’t much care. not a bit. that girl had no self-esteem, or self-worth, or self anything. she hurt herself a lot. and she hurt the folks she loved. that young girl wanted desperately to be loved. to be seen. to be heard. to be noticed. to be important enough to be wanted. she was not a happy girl.

    and then there’s the 20s, where she kinda, sorta… found her way a bit. pieces. slivers. she started saying no to the stuff & men & people that caused her pain. she didn’t say no a lot, but she learned to say no. and she started to like herself a bit. she was able to look in the mirror and see someone she thought was kinda sorta beautiful, pretty. not every day, but on many days.

    and then the 30s were better, filled with a sense of self, a sense of right & wrong, and sense of wanting to do good in the world. and yes, the 30s were definitely filled with some wrong turns, a few wrong guys (okay, more than a few wrong guys, i could go alphabetical), a few mistakes… but then… at the very end of that decade, she found the man who would sweep her off her very high-heeled feet, and show her what unconditional good kind sexy love was all about. he was the period at the end of that sentence/decade.

    and then the 40s, which somehow blended right into the 50s, was when the girl became a woman whose passion & mission was for all women to awaken to their greatness & beauty. and she, the woman, stumbled a bit, lost her way a bit, experienced menopause which was so very fun-filled. the best two words she could find to describe menopause would be HOLY MOTHERFUCKER, and that’s when some days blended into other days because she couldn’t get out of bed. and then she got out of bed, and she wrote a book about everything plus some, and that filled her soul up, and she decided to help others fill their souls. and life continued happening even on days when it felt hard & difficult & scary & sad & filled to the brim with losses. a father, a mother, a family imploding.

    and then that woman started taking her very own advice: to stand tall, make a ruckus, stand up for others, share the goodie bag, be kind and then be kinder, love more & better, champion others, support others, inspire & encourage others, speak up, speak up more & often, be generous and then be more generous, share the wealth, complete not compete, make more of a ruckus, write/right the truth, be brave & bold & audacious & lift others, lift them higher, rise up, rise up again & again & more & often, and inspire folks every single fucking day to be the kind of women they name hurricanes after, and the kind of men they name parks & buildings & hospital wings after.

    and before she knew it, she was turning 60.

    so, live your life well,
    live it to the nines.
    strut your gorgeous sexy stuff.
    be fierce & mighty.
    and don’t let anyone – not one soul – make you feel unworthy, unloved, unwanted, undeserving.


    we don’t get here alone.
    there is a tribe, an army, a community of folks who hold us up, have our back, love us madly, cheer us on and wish us – really wish us – good loving extraordinary awesome days.

    i bow to you all.


    • Oh holy SHIT do I relate to this. And, I ain’t far behind you, baby!
      And menopause – yes, that is quite the earthquake isn’t it. BUT… after the shaking stops, and you’re siting there amid the rubble… you start to rebuild. And… you don’t put things back the way they were. No, you put things where you WANT them this time.
      Your 50s are so odd. You discover that your body is suddenly in charge. It’s going to do whatever the fuck it wants now, and you can kick and scream all you want, but this will break and that will sag… and you struggle against it with your fists until you realize…
      You can just put your fists down.
      Just stop.
      Rather than fear post-menopausal you… you can step into it… and realize there are some HUGE bonuses to being over 50. For starters – your mind clears out. You start seeing bullshit for what it is and refusing to participate in it. You also start realizing that the finiteness of time makes you appreciate every visit, every kiss, every laugh. TIME is suddenly so precious. AND…. you stop wasting it frivolously, like you did in your 20s and 30s.
      And while it is true – people treat me differently, over 50, in my decidedly not sleek body, with my silver hair… FUCK THOSE PEOPLE. They are just helping me to weed them out of my life.
      And… today… in my 50s… I feel more grounded… more ALIVE… than ever. And my 60s? Neither of my parents made it that far, so when I turn 60… I will CELEBRATE!!!!!!! I’m still HERE!!!
      And… p.s. I love you. 🙂

    • I love my 60’s. Actually, I love my life and wouldn’t do much of anything differently.

      • Sivan Butler-Rotholz

      • November 20, 2014 at 8:43 am
      • Reply

      You are a SHEro. A goddess. The kind of women they name hurricanes after. And we? We the women of the world? We are blessed to have you. Thank the universe for the trials and tribulations that shaped you, that made you the glorious you that you are today.

      • Pam Storm

      • November 20, 2014 at 11:45 am
      • Reply

      Holy motherfucker, I am 52 and going through that bitch menopause. Thanks for sharing

      • Hannah Sullivan

      • November 20, 2014 at 12:57 pm
      • Reply

      I absolutely loved this. It’s like you wrote that 20’s part about me. I’m glad to know it gets better with age.

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