• Livermorium, shlivermorium — the world’s going crazy

    by Donald K. Sanders

    The world seems to be going absolutely insane. We don’t notice it because of its subtlety. To illustrate why I think this, I’d like to share some recent news events I found interesting. One small bit of news won’t direct you to that conclusion, but if you bundle it all together, like packing snow into a ball, you can see a bigger picture.

    Senator Kay Hagen (D) from North Carolina is angry because she can’t receive her email. On Dec. 1, the Senator introduces a bill that would eliminate overtime pay for IT workers.

    Time Warner Cable and U.S. Pay TV are on the verge of instituting fees for internet usage. Get ready to kiss watching free movies and TV over the internet goodbye. A spokesman for Time Warner stated, “This will be the best thing that ever happened to cable TV.” Apparently they own the internet.

    It is now more cost effective to sequence a genome than to analyze a genome. It seems that there is so much data to collect that researchers can’t keep it all. Now they are trying to find a way to throw some of the data away. I’m thinking of opening a “Data Dump.” That’s “DD” for short. Don’s Data Dump. Yeah, I could just dump all the data into the creek and let it go downstream to Davis where they like that sort of thing.

    Google’s open-source Android 4.0 operating system for smart phones and tablets is now ported to work with x86 processors. I guess that’s why they call it open-source.

    Scientists at the California Institute of Technology now have a therapy that will protect mice (with humanized immune systems) against HIV infections. The mice are injected with a genetically altered virus and then they are sent to the “stud farm” where they are given the HIV virus by some weird looking dude with big ears. Mice condoms are expected to be the new craze for Wall Street investors.

    Terrorist organizations are using the Patriot Act against us. Foreign firms that do business in the area of cloud computing are being warned that any data shared with US firms will fall directly into the hands of US Intelligence and then passed on to the top half of the 1% that owns the Department of Home Security.

    Chemistry’s periodic table is welcoming newly named elements. I think that makes about 500 elements that we know of. Say hello to “Livermorium” and “flerovium.” If you are typing these elements into your computer, you will need to add them to the dictionary or they will have a red jiggled line under them.

    A pair of diamond crystals have been linked by quantum entanglement. It is one of the first times that objects visible to the human eye have been placed in a connected quantum state. Duh, who cares! It’s only in second place, and who wants a diamond that small anyway.

    The United Kingdom has launched a “code-cracking” competition to help attract new talent. I was going to enter the competition but I couldn’t figure out how to read the application.

    I just read a article about security programs, similar to McAfee, that are supposed to protect our private information from prying eyes. Well, it seems that they are complicit with government data gatherers in giving up your goodies to, you guessed it, the top half of the 1% that owns the Department of Homeland Security.

    Friedman Freund from NASA and Dr. Rachel Grant from the UK’s Open University have found that animals may sense chemical changes in the groundwater that occur when an earthquake is about to strike. The data just released says that there was a mass toad exodus just before the last big earthquake. There was also a lot of garbled information that I don’t even care about. All I want to know is there the damn toads were going.

    Since 2009, NASA has been gathering data using the agency’s “Flame Extinguishing Experiment” or “FLEX” to better understand how fire behaves in microgravity. This explains why we no longer go to the space station and why NASA is selling all the space food to grade school kids.

    There you have it in a nutshell. The sad part is that this is only today’s news. I’m afraid to put more than one day’s news together.

    • Donald, you spend too much time reading this stuff. I knew of none of it, of course. True or not. Love your words. I want to see happy and funny next time unless this was humorous.

    • Absolutely true news reports-I just added a little to them. I’m going to try to get David and Debra to invest in Don’s Data Dump. Madge, do you think I could store some data at your house for a week or two? My house is full.

      • Jesse

      • December 26, 2011 at 7:44 pm
      • Reply

      Where are the toads going and can we follow them. That’s what I want to know.

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