• Looking for love in the free market

    by Matt “Naj” Najmowicz

    The other day I am watching the television to help empty out my brain a bit, and I noticed something peculiar. There was an inordinate amount of dating website commercials on the air. Within a half an hour, I think I counted five of them. America must be truly the greatest country in the world, just give a website your credit card number and they will find you true love. It’s true love, people.

    The most prominent liar, I mean dating website, is E-Harmony. We have seen the same old geezer who is apparently a doctor. He has like 56 ways to match your personality with someone else. Wow, that is a lot of matching. He looks so reassuring with his smile, saying happiness is right around the corner. This sounds promising, but there were others. So I wanted more websites.

    There was a commercial for Christian Mingle. I am going to not unleash a barrage of tasteless jokes here. I am just going to point out that of all the different Christian denominations in this country, guess which group had the highest rate of divorce? Say it with me: Evangelicals.

    The next TV ad I had seen was for a website that was for people 50 years old and over. The commercial consisted of this couple on an amusement park ride. The woman just kept repeating “This guy…he is such a good guy.” The man listed how amazing the lady was, he just listed non-stop all the things she was great at. She just kept parroting, “He is such a good guy.” Someone tell that broad that Ted Bundy seemed like a decent fella too.

    The best television ad I have ever seen for dating is this AnastasiaDate commercial. This is a website where you can meet Russian women. There is this very thin blond, with perfect teeth, she weighs probably 115 pounds, and is super happy. The commercial says something to the effect of even though we are 5,000 miles away, I have never felt closer to her. Anyone see that broad skipping around in her giant and expensive looking apartment? Why would she leave Russia if life is so fantastic? I know, I’m being judgmental.
    Ex-communists need lovin’ too. I get it.

    In a world where hyper-capitalism consumes everything around us, it also consumes our ability to connect with people on any level. How many people in my age range can actually sit down with someone without checking their phone for an hour or jump online to check their email?

    We are a society of superabundance, and yet everyone feels alienated, alone, cold, and mostly apathetic. So what does our society do to remedy this? They let the free market make the solution: dating websites.

    Granted, way back when they used to have personal ads when print media was king. The idea of the dating website was a natural evolution that capitalism provides.

    Ok, so three cheers for the free market. I get it.

    However, may I pose a question for everyone: Why did we stop talking to each other?

    In a society/country that pressures you to produce something at all times, I feel like we lost that ability not only to speak to each other, but to also empathize with one another. To speak in a clever sentence (which is my job) is one thing, to be able to say how you feel and to be empathic enough to validate someone else’s emotions is entirely different skill set. That is a skill set that takes time and patience to hone, and I am afraid there is no manual or set rule about it. One must show empathy over and over again in order to really get it.

    I’m going to throw one more thing out there that some people may not want to hear. Some people are just destined to be alone in a romantic sense. There are folks out there who are just unlucky in the romance department. Life is unfair.

    My opinion: Love is about luck, even if you are trolling the dating websites.



    • Luck and some compromise and patience. I would rather be with myself more and date less. But then again, I was married for 20 years, have two grown sons and 4 grandchildren so don’t really need anything else in my life to make me happy. I feel I have done it all.


      • Georgia

      • November 4, 2012 at 11:02 am
      • Reply

      “Love is about luck” both good and bad and empathy comes from a kind and patient heart. Kindness and patience cannot be affectivly conveyed through texting.


      • Matt Najmowicz

      • November 8, 2012 at 3:43 pm
      • Reply

      True Georgia.



    Leave a Comment