• Madgew comes to Winters

    by Donald K. Sanders

    Madge Woods is coming to visit the city of Winters. The zip code is 95694, which makes it somewhere near here. Her visit to the area could be a financial windfall for us. (Meaning me — and a small share for my friend Steve) Ms. Woods’ visit is considered to be a significant event for our fair city but she stresses that she is not coming here for official reasons and her time here should be considered as personal.

    Before we discuss the reasons for her visit, I feel that a little background information may be in order. It is true that Ms. Woods, affectionately known around the world as Madgew, has a history that is clouded in mystery and adventure originating from historical documents that apparently are thousands of years old.

    The earliest known images of Madgew are dated at around 2000 B. C. E. The image of the impishly beautiful Madgew is depicted sitting with the Pharaoh of the Lower Kingdom of the Nile. Hieroglyphics suggest that she may have been an emissary of the Upper Kingdom and was instrumental in the joining of the two kingdoms. The papyrus scroll can be view by appointment at the Cairo Museum in Egypt.

    Several centuries later, Madgew turns up again in Egypt. Historical documents associated with Napoleon while in Egypt began surfacing at around 1809 and continue appearing intermittently throughout his life. Madgew is believed to have been instrumental in the preservation of the Sphinx and other great ancient monuments. Some say she can be traced to temples of Upper Egypt where she is depicted as a Goddess of Good Fortune.

    To add to the mystery, images and references to Madgew are to be found from the ancient walled city of Nineveh across the continent of Asia and on to the Isle of Japan. Antiquities in ancient Xianyang’s terracotta army refer to Madgew in both Chinese and Greek. Several references to Madgew appear at the Sanju-Sangendo Temple. In one image she is depicted barefoot and in pajamas while holding a martini.

    Madgew is shown drinking from the three fountains of the Kiyomizu Temple in Japan. The three fountains are associated with wisdom, health and prosperity. There are tintype photos of Madgew in Prague and Vienna. She is rumored to have argued with Chopin about Poland. It is all very mysterious indeed.

    That brings us pretty much up to date except for her reasons to visit Winters. I have to say that Steve and I should get the credit for that. You see, we have arranged to sell Madgew the Glory Hole at Lake Berryessa. A savvy businesswoman she is. Before we can close the deal on the Glory Hole, she wants to view the damn thing before she spits out any money. I tried to tell Steve that this was going to happen, but he said that all women are a sucker for his charms and in the end, Madgew will buy the Glory Hole.

    “Leave it up to me!” he said.

    Steve wanted to tell her that it was a Black Hole in the universe around here but I told him, “Who the hell wants to buy a Black Hole, Steve?” Steve need to get with it or get off the pile of wood because you can’t write on a stupid log! That’s what I always say!

    So, everybody keep an eye out for Madgew, she’s really cool. I think that if everybody lines up on Main Street, she would probably give each one of us a kiss on the forehead. I think that’s really cool but I don’t have a forehead any more, I have a five head.

    In the end, her visit may remind us of a poem by Julia Butterfly. It goes like this:

    Me reflecting you reflecting me.
    You are a part of us, and we are a part of you.
    When one reaches out to another, then one transforms to two.
    But two is never separated from the one we were before.
    If anything two is the possibility of one becoming more.
    And if there is no courting, no numbers to create a wall,
    when we look in the face of the one,
    we will see the face of all.

    If Madgew doesn’t buy the Glory Hole after that poem, no one will.

      • Judy N

      • March 4, 2012 at 3:50 pm
      • Reply

      Ah, the mysterious MadgeW! After reading her on iPinion, I doubt she’ll buy the Glory Hole, but she might kiss you on the forehead, poem or not poem.

    • Dear Donald,

      I don’t know what to say (speechless, a rarity for me) your story about me was so charming, just as I expect you to be. I will even kiss you on the lips.

      How do you put a price on glory holes? If you find a way to sell and market the definition below I will buy your Glory Hole. But I have a feeling this will not go over big with my lawyers, accountants and estate managers. Is your glory hole an oasis???????? See below.

      “Numerous motivations can be ascribed to the use and eroticism of glory holes. For some, the sheer anonymity is itself arousing. For others, it can serve as a way to have intimacy without a prolonged relationship, or to ensure sexual compatibility before further pursuing a relationship. Utilizing a gloryhole is also an easy way to mitigate any perceived physical shortcomings like being overweight or somehow less physically attractive. One social theorist has described the attraction of this form of sexual encounter thus: “The ultimate sexual objectification of gay male sexual encounters is the glory hole in public toilets. As a wall separates the two participants, they have no contact except for a mouth, a penis, and perhaps a hand. Almost total anonymity is maintained as no other attributes are taken into consideration.” The glory hole is seen as an iconic erotic oasis in gay subcultures around the world; people’s motivations, experiences and attributions of value in its use are varied.”

      All kidding aside I am honored by your words and the time you took to write this amazing story. I can’t wait to lead the march through Winters and meet all you amazing writers and meet some of the people I already feel I know and like.

      • Valerie Gebroe

      • March 4, 2012 at 8:10 pm
      • Reply

      What a wonderful story. I have known Madgew for quite some time now but knew nothing of her past life. Enlightening to say the least. As I know her today I will tell you that you are in for a great deal of laughter, honesty and inquisitiveness. I can’t wait to read what you write after meeting her! Have fun.

      • Bipolar Bear

      • March 5, 2012 at 1:22 am
      • Reply

      Love Madge and love the story and comments!

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