• author
    • Matthew Najmowicz

      Columnist
    • March 28, 2015 in Columnists

    Mandatory meetings at Liberty University

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    Senator Ted Cruz came out and announced his candidacy for president of the United States. He made his proclamation at the ultra-right-wing Christian university (Liberty University) started by televangelist and well-documented bigot, Jerry Falwell.

    An interesting situation occurred during this speech.

    Apparently the auditorium at Liberty University was packed to the rafters with eager ears listening to Senator Cruz’s oratory in that insincere “aww shucks, ma’am” drawl. I assume the speech was about his love affair with America and if the US Constitution was a woman – he would marry that woman. I assume he would tell the US Constitution to enjoy making babies with Senator Cruz as Jesus and Ronald Reagan intended. Perhaps Ted Cruz and the US Constitution only have sexual relations missionary style with a hole in the sheet for the Senator’s manhood.

    After all – would you want to actually look at the US Constitution naked?

    Eww! God, no!

    At any rate, the young and impressionable youth who attend Liberty University were required to go to Senator Ted Cruz’s speech. It was mandatory. Yes. Like Obamacare. Like your car insurance. Like folding a slice of thin crust pizza in half to put it into your mouth – you must obey the rules.

    Apparently any student at Liberty University who tries to skip town hall meetings or assemblies at the auditorium is subjected to a ten dollar fine. I am not sure how you pay this fine or assess said fine. I do know that at LIBERTY University, students are FORCED to go to meetings they really don’t care about.

    Let’s look up the word irony and bask in its glory for 10 seconds.

    Right-wing ideology always talks about how government should be smaller and people always have the right to choose. Choice is what makes America fantastic and the free market justifiable. So when a university forces its students to go to Senator Ted Cruz’s stump speech, I assume, because it’s so close to April first, that this story was some sort of elaborate prank.

    The Republicans would never be hypocritical, correct?

    When the Republicans get into power, they are just as much Communists as the Democrats are accused of being. Republicans will regulate your vagina, pornography, welfare, education, what you can say, what books you can read at high school and so on.

    Did you read about Governor Rick Scott telling Florida officials to use different words than climate change? What else do you call the rising sea levels in southern Florida? I know what they should call the rising sea levels – everyone gets a free swimming pool.

    Granted, Democrats do plenty of stupid things. They regulate, they censor, they annoy, but the biggest difference between the Democrats and Republicans is Democrats lack the spine to actually oppose Republicans or to simply point out hypocrisy from their opposition.

    I’m not sure if I should laugh at the irony and hypocrisy or if I should weep that our political institutions are so embarrassingly stupid. Meanwhile, it looks like Liberty University is just another Gulag – a place where people are given their “reeducation.” The word liberty must mean something different with right-wing people.

    Perhaps I should sit in Room 101 and watch “Clockwork Orange” again to understand the definition of liberty.

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    Courtesy- drafthouse.com

     


      • Madgew

      • March 28, 2015 at 8:06 am
      • Reply

      At least they were allowed to wear TShirts for Rand Paul (lots of them) and were shown on every TV news show. At least we got to know they are charged $10 if they don’t appear. Wonder how many paid the fine. Asswipes all of them. What a joke our country is becoming.


      • Maya North

      • March 28, 2015 at 10:49 pm
      • Reply

      These asshats define freedom as the right to do exactly what THEY want — and nobody else. Watch the anti-government folks and see the scale at which they try to control women and their bodies. It’s epic, hypocritical, unconscionable and inexcusable — and they don’t get why it pisses the rest of us off. (Trudges off shaking my head…)



    • I can’t watch Cruz at all. He creeps me the hell out.



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