by Matt “Naj” Najmowicz
I am so sick to death of everyone calling themselves a nerd as if this is a new Goth trend.
There is an outbreak of young 20-25 year olds who want to be known as nerds or geeks. Comic books, music, video games, gaming, zombie movies and vampire novels — guess what’s missing from that group: mathematics, computers, science, literature and other notable skills.
When I was younger, nerds and geeks were different. They were able to do algebra with ease and precision. Some of them were astounding at physics and could explain how the universe constantly expands. There were nerds who could take apart a computer, show you the different components, and actually program the computer in different programing languages. Notice anything missing from that cast of people I have just mentioned? I’ll give you a clue: they never read Harry Potter or gave a crap about Hello Kitty.
The bar is set so low for what passes as a nerd nowadays that I am actually embarrassed for the real thinking nerds. There are accomplished people out there who actually know things, actual ideas that could move a mountain with his or her mind using mere thoughts, someone could invent a scientific idea called string theory, someone could defeat an old idea in linguistics and shake up academia like Noam Chomsky, or someone could invent the internet like Al Gore did, allegedly. There could be a person who comes up with a nutrient bar called plumpy’nut. Plumpy’nut is a nutrition bar that is actually a peanut paste filled with zinc and protein that is used by the United Nations and other watchdog organizations for famine relief. Smart people create miracles like fighting off famines, not some lazy punk playing Halo 4 on his or her Xbox 360.
Yet, there are those who try to muscle into this subculture of, quite frankly from my own personal experiences and from the trials and tribulations of my other dear friends, misanthropes. They really disdain the comforts of bourgeois society for the most part, although on occasion the comforting lull of that said society is an excellent way for us nerds to find ballast in this world. Nerds have their up and downs, are hyper-individualists, and desperately try to find whatever is their catalyst for being and project it outwards. Very rare are they balanced people, they usually find it hard to communicate or even tolerate a crowded room, and mostly they hate idle banter of the mundane homogenized materialistic world and culture. Do not mistake me, they might like the band “Fun!” or might be able to tell you the latest Batman story arch, but they certainly did not seek your company unless they truly were desperate for human contact.
The word “nerd” has been hijacked by the lazy and lily-livered, those with the poverty of imagination, and by girls who desperately seek the attention of young boys as they have throughout time. Big Bang Theory and things like that are now part of a homogenized popular culture. No one strives to better themselves and no one dares themselves to be stupid; it is a cookie cutter society of cut, copy and paste.
I am going to address the ladies and try not to be too mean about it — stop posting pictures of yourself on Facebook with a Supergirl or Batman T-shirt on. If you can hand me a piece of paper that is the answer to a calculus problem, or can outline the plot of “The Iliad,” then you can get into my club and be with whom I share my revelry. You might play a Playstation 3, congratulations; you might find a boyfriend who will ignore you once you start complaining to them about your childhood and who said something mean about you when you were 10.
Maybe you like HP Lovecraft, maybe you like Nintendo, or maybe you just want to be special. My advice to you: stop trying to be special, just be interesting. Pick up a book and be something different then a commercialized fad. There is a fine line between being a fan of us, and being with us.
Also, Chris Hardwick can go fuck off. Where is his MENSA card?