Noah’s Button-Pushing Adventure
by Christy Sillman
There are a lot of great stories from our trip to Oahu, Hawaii, but my favorite is best told by my 17-month-old son Noah. Since Noah can only speak a few words and hasn’t quite mastered the computer keyboard, I will attempt to narrate for him. As his mother, I can only guess what he was thinking, but I believe I know him well enough to capturing hypothetical thoughts of my feisty little guy. Enjoy:
I like buttons.
I’m always looking for new types of buttons to push. Sometimes there are big, shaped colored buttons that play silly music when I push them. Despite all my previous button pushing adventures, there was one button I pushed on vacation in Hawaii that gained me the attention of my entire family all at once — now that’s a cool button!
Before we left for Hawaii I had just discovered that I can now reach those fancy levers that open a closed door and gain me access to rooms my Mommy thinks I shouldn’t be playing in. What are those called? Oh yeah, door handles! I tried to keep it a secret, but she quickly discovered my newfound ability and I haven’t had much alone time since.
This house in Hawaii had really neat handles in my favorite circular shape. The first thing I noticed was how much harder it was to work these circular handles, and so I started watching my family closely every time they used one. I was determined to figure this handle out, and when I’m determined to do something it is pretty hard to stop me.
After an awesome day at the beach (side note: have you seen how cool ocean waves are? I mean seriously, they run towards you at the same time you run towards them, and sand is probably the coolest material I’ve encountered in my whole life. Anyways, I digress), my family and I stopped by this burger joint and picked up these apparently amazing hamburgers my mom and uncle were talking about all day. I didn’t know what the big deal was, but I haven’t actually tasted them so I can’t judge -—I don’t have time for silly things like eating.
When we got home I was greeted by my favorite toy ever — the bouncy ball — and all I wanted was to play toss with someone, ANYONE, but they were all mmmm’ing and ahhhhhh’ing over those delicious burgers. They thought they could distract me by turning the TV on, but I wasn’t really in the mood. I climbed up and down the couch a few times to the background noise of my parents saying my name repeatedly and something about my bottom. I just ignored them. My bottom was fine.
Then it dawned on me: this was my chance to master those door handles.
My mommy had closed all the bedroom and bathroom doors before she sat down to eat, so I knew she wouldn’t come looking for me down the empty “no-fun” hallway.
There were a couple of doors I could choose from, but I went for the one mommy likes to keep shut most of the time. What is she hiding in there? Are there cool toys she’s not sharing with me? I knew her face paints and hair burning toys were in there, and that white bowl in which water magically drains was in there too. It was a no-brainer which room I needed to explore.
I confidently walked to the hallway, and even heard my family confirm with each other that all the doors were closed — they thought they’d once again outsmarted me, but I was about to show them how smart I truly am.
I couldn’t believe how quickly I was able to open the bathroom door. It was almost too easy, and I was so proud of myself that I almost squealed in delight, but that would have ruined my cover. I was also surprised by how quietly I was able to do it — no one even noticed. I ran into the bathroom and realized I’d better close the door before they noticed I was in there.
Damn wind snuck up behind me and that door slammed shut with such a loud bang, I swung around to watch as my family would surely come rushing into the bathroom moments later.
There it was — the button — staring at me from inside the door handle. It was so neat looking, and I knew if I ever wanted a chance to push it, I’d better hurry before I was whisked out of the bathroom by Mommy, so that’s exactly what I did. I pushed the button.
Nothing happened right away. What a boring button. But at that exact moment I heard Mommy jiggle the door handle. She let out some sort of a gasp and screamed “OH MY GOD, HE LOCKED THE DOOR!!”
I did? I locked the door? No way! Now, that is an awesome button!
I knew I didn’t have much time, so I started frantically searching through the cabinets, looking for something, anything, I’m not allowed to play with. I was rummaging through those drawers quicker than a burglar who’d just set off a home security alarm.
Mommy was really excited about my new door-locking skills and the whole family was suddenly scampering about outside the door trying to figure out how to undo the button’s magic.
Grandpa was trying to explain something to me about turning the handle again. Silly Grandpa, now why would I do that? Then Grandpa started a fun game where he would knock on the door. I love knocking on doors so I knocked back even louder. That’s the point of the game right?
Then I heard my family say that the door handle had a keyhole — I’m not sure what that is but they seemed relieved by it.
After Grandpa tried several different keys with no result, Grandma and Daddy started looking for things to pick the lock with. It was pretty entertaining to listen to what they were trying to use — a hair clip, a fork, a skewer and even a meat thermometer. What a silly family I have!
I’m not sure what Mommy was doing, but I just kept hearing her say things like “Oh my God, is the toilet seat cover down? Do you think he can reach the hot water handle? Steve, be careful, don’t break the wooden skewer off into the keyhole because then we’d be screwed!”
I didn’t understand why she was so freaked out. Did she think I was going to flush her keys down the toilet? Silly Mommy, your keys aren’t in the bathroom, I hid them somewhere else.
Then Auntie Michelle found a small paring knife and Daddy thought it would be perfect. I quickly continued my search for forbidden bathroom toys. My Daddy is pretty smart, so I wasn’t too surprised when the door busted open a few moments later with my whole family staring in at me. I smiled and waved “hi” because I’ve already learned that cuteness always softens trouble’s blow.
From then on, the doors were left open with some sort of wooden wedge thing blocking me from closing it. Whatever. I’m currently on the hunt for a cooler button to push — and I think I’ll start with this one right here: