• author
    • Kaila Charice

      Columnist
    • April 7, 2014 in Columnists

    Not dating, just fucking

    Growing up, I always imagined dating to be this magical experience full of butterflies and sunshine. The more I’ve dated, the more I’ve noticed that those butterflies fly away much faster than they flew in. While I’m happy being a single, 24-year-old, pursuing her dreams, I can’t help but wish I fell (and stayed) in love before some of the most recent advances in technology.

    Today, “dating” seems merely be the more appropriate way of showing off who you’re sleeping with, rather than spending quality time with someone with whom you’re building a connection. Infatuation is perceived as love. I blame this partially on social media and apps like “Tinder.” It is much easier today to “connect” with people without having to spend time or effort in making that connection happen. Hell, a winking face emoticon can make someone feel butterflies in the same way as spending $18.99 on a bouquet of roses, so why would anyone opt for the latter when the former is free and takes less than 10 seconds?

    All of these fast-paced connections have taken casual sex to an all-time low. It’s the norm nowadays to be sleeping with people you don’t necessarily care about or see a future with, but as liberal as I am, I still think sex is a form of intimacy that shouldn’t just transpire every time you think someone is “hot.”

    I feel I’m increasingly in the minority in expecting someone to ask me on a real date if they’re interested in me, rather than simply saying we should “meet for coffee” (often a euphemism). It seems guys are putting in less and less effort, and girls are dropping their pants quicker and quicker in order to not be replaced by the next “Tinder match” or cute girl on Instagram who likes the photo of the guy you’re interested in.

    A few months ago I was interested in this guy. He’s cute and funny and incredibly hard working, and I was fairly certain the interest was mutual. We hung out a couple of times for about an hour, just talking, but he had yet to ask me on a formal date. I happened to be near his neighborhood one day and we made tentative plans to grab coffee. He told me he was working from home and couldn’t get away, but I was welcome to say “hi” since I was so close, but he understood if I would rather reschedule.

    I decided to go over and say “hello.” It turns out “come say hi” is code for “let’s have a quickie.”

    I got to his place and everything seemed normal. He got me a glass of water and we talked about the projects we were working on and a few our favorite TV shows.

    Then he kissed me.

    That pretty much confirmed that my intuition had been correct and that he was indeed interested in me. We kissed and talked a bit more, and then he asked if he could take my shirt off. I said “no,” and we continued our pattern. What happened next shocked me: He stood up and just started taking his pants off. I looked at him confused and stammered, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” He didn’t really have a reply; he just kept getting naked. I told him I should leave.

    Now it seemed the tables had turned and he was confused. He put his pants back on and asked me when I’d be back in town to which I believe I mumbled that I wasn’t sure.

    And I left.

    We’ve texted a couple of times since, and I actually hold nothing against the man. Yet what he did still shocks me. Is that a move that really works? While I don’t feel I gave off any signs that I would sleep with him, that outcome is apparently so common nowadays that perhaps he thought I knew his intentions when he asked me to come say “hi.” He didn’t force me to do anything, and he seemed genuinely confused when I told him I was leaving, which leads me to suspect he had done this in the past with much greater success. I feel many changes in today’s dating world may bear equal fault amongst men and women.

    I want to make it perfectly clear that I am not in any way suggesting that when someone pressures you into a sexual encounter that both parties share the blame. I’m talking about the nonchalance of both men and women in their attitudes towards relationships and sex.

    I admit to being a little naïve, but I would have preferred he had been direct and asked me if I wanted to come over and have sex. At least then I would have known his intentions and not wasted my time.

    I’m by no means a prude, and I know everyone has “needs,” I just don’t understand how or why sex has become so casual.

    I mean, what happened to courtship?



    • There will be one. He will be completely terrified to try to pull your jeans off. He will look at you with longing. He will bring you cupcakes, hold doors, unlock the car door and let you in. You may already know him but us girls are so quick to *friendzone* the good ones. They are out there my pretty little butterfly. Make yourself blatantly clear with the rest of the nimrods. “Coffee? Ok just to be clear I don’t hook up and my vagina is one of my greatest assets you are going to have to earn your spot as an investment.”


        • Kaila Charice

        • April 7, 2014 at 7:13 pm
        • Reply

        Oh, I have no doubt that he will come into my life (if he isn’t here already)! I feel I’m pretty clear that if someone asks to meet for coffee that they are friend zoned (at least until they grow the balls to ask me on a real date), but I think I might use your line and see their reaction! Haha! Thank you for the comment!!



    • Very sad state of affairs … in the 80’s .. The sophistication, the style, the originality of the date was a direct reflection of the man, and of course, his interest in a particular young lady (boy do I sound old … ) My first date with my wife involved four separate stops … drinks, dinner, music … coffee …. and 3 hours of conversation …. across Lower Manhattan … on a weekday night … the second date? Dinner and a reggae concert …. I still remember them clearly … the multiple venues, the change of pace was meant to reflect the interests that I wanted to share with her … and were great sources of conversation … My advice? Just Say No! You are worth a lot more .. than a hookup, and a cup of coffee … Another tip? Celebrate the guys who still get it … Women deserve a whole hell of a lot more …


        • Kaila Charice

        • April 7, 2014 at 7:15 pm
        • Reply

        That sounds lovely!! I have been taken out on dates much similar, for whatever reason that guy and I just weren’t the right match, but I definitely appreciate chivalry when it comes my way (:


      • Richard Darnielle

      • April 7, 2014 at 6:55 pm
      • Reply

      Dating should in deed reflect the social life you intend to share with that person you fancy. Confusion only means to spread itself with those believing that a compromise is in order. Facebook has only put my mind back to work. I can only hope that my messages are clear enough for all to enjoy.



    • Times haven’t changed so much dear heart. The truth of the matter, is Kathy brotherton pegged it. The one who doesn’t try to turn you into a quickie, (HE is the one) .He is the one because he was so taken with “you”, he is petrified to make any move that might scare you away….Anyway, then you reach my age and it’s all cougarville for you. Now you are the one attacking because you don’t give a flying fig about the “one” anymore. The “ONE” gave you twenty kids, stretch marks, wrinkles and then left. Or some such horrible story as that. I wouldn’t look for a “relationship” again. Ever. Wow. was this about you or me? LOL. If it’s coffee, let him buy, than go meet another guy for lunch. The equation will even out at some point and crap you will save a bundle in the meantime to spend at the mall. Just go with the flow, do it my way.


      • Jason

      • April 8, 2014 at 5:42 am
      • Reply

      I think you made a valid point, the girls drop there pants quicker than in the past.
      Not to be cliche but its the game you don’t like and its the girls that created the rules (or lack there of)
      so this article and all cries of desperation from girls should be directed at other girls

      and this is coming from a guy that is looking for something real bc this phenomena goes both ways. Ive met countless girls that felt I was looking for something too serious.

      Basically there is an age where the girls go from being extremely free to all of sudden expecting courtship and respect. That doesn’t work.

      The real good girls do find the good guys b.c. they have always followed those values. Not just when it works for them. That’s the problem.

      and guys are just guys… girls have the control…
      if you feel saying “no” won’t work, then that is simply b.c. the other girls out there are ruining it for the good ones.

      Jason


        • Kaila Charice

        • April 8, 2014 at 7:50 am
        • Reply

        Jason, thank you for your comment! I never said that saying “no” won’t work, the point of the article was to address the changes that I feel have occurred in today’s dating life and how they are do to the attitudes and actions of BOTH men and women. I agree with you that a girl who goes from being “extremely free” to expecting to be courted all of the sudden might be in for a shocker, but as someone who has never considered herself as “extremely free,” the article was only to address the fact that a sort of easiness is expected (at least sometimes) by men, which could be due to their past experiences with women. I do believe it goes both ways at times, and I too know women who don’t always want something serious, this was just something that I had experienced and wanted to share.


          • Jason

          • April 8, 2014 at 9:37 am

          I feel these issues are ruining the whole idea of marriage and commitment. I guess I am just hoping to read one of these articles and finally see someone focus on the real problem. You are so right, this sort of easiness is expected by men. Umm.. whose fault is that?
          Starting to undress does work!! girls are the same as guys when it comes to sexuality and being horny. worse maybe bc they then pretend to be angels or expect courtship.
          All of these girls we are talking about eventually want to get married. no?
          they should start internalizing those things before college and spring break, etc. thats the problem. The girls that respect themselves and their bodies, the ones I know at least, are all happily married already and in something serious.

          check out the episode of “how I met your mother”, NAKED MAN.
          then after you are done laughing, be like me and realize how sad and pathetic things really are when it comes to dating and finding the right one. I am a guy and I like to have fun and have done my thing.. but this free mentality and getting married later in life is gona ruin things for everyone and thats the bigger problem.



    • […] off I want to say I really enjoyed Kaila Charice’s column, “Not Dating, Just Fucking.”  Kaila’s thesis, simply stated, is that perhaps sex is a bit too causal in society.  To […]


      • Jason

      • April 8, 2014 at 9:43 am
      • Reply

      not to be rude, but here is an opinion….
      maybe having model/ half naked pics of yourself on facebook gives the wrong impression to guys.


        • Kaila Charice

        • April 8, 2014 at 10:30 am
        • Reply

        Jason, I’ve seen that episode and it’s actually what popped into my head when this happened to me! While things aren’t going to change, I’m definitely not afraid to stick to my values when it comes to “dating,” and by doing so I have brought some amazing people into my life.

        As for the comment about my modeling pictures, you’ll notice that these aren’t just photos I took of myself to show off my body, I’m a model, I book lingerie jobs and get photographed in, well, lingerie. These photos are not “pornographic” in any way, they showcase my body (and whatever piece of lingerie I am wearing), but in the modeling industry I book work based on my body.

        That being said, just because what I do as a profession may not always require me to be covered from head to toe does not mean that I myself take my clothes off for anyone who asks or tries. Work is work, and I (like many people) have passions, one of them is modeling. You’ll notice that I also have several photos showcasing shirts, pants, dresses, skirts, sweaters, and a variety of other clothing items that people wear on an everyday basis.


      • Jason

      • April 8, 2014 at 10:55 am
      • Reply

      hahah think you are proving my point…
      Don’t need such a long explanation as to why girls do what they do. Girls need to start realizing that guys are guys. If you smile at them, they think they have a chance. That’s how it actually works.
      if you have sexy pictures online, any guy will think of you that way.
      I don’t know anything about you but even your pictures, to me as a guy, are seductive. Even the one on this opinion thingy. There are ways to give off impressions.

      This is like the typical girl complaining that guys are staring at their boobs… but the problem is really she is wearing a low cut shirt with her boobs sticking out.
      So you are doing the same thing. Spent 2 big paragraphs justifying certain things about your pictures. you don’t have to tell me, im just saying guys interpret it much differently. Any girls that have bikini pics and drunk slutty pics online, they are giving off an impression.

      but of course girls will justify and argue that its ok etc. blah blah
      to be more specific to you… if you want guys to approach you well, THINK LIKE THEM!
      whether you are a model or not, I am able to see pics of you practically naked. gives me impression you are free with your body, etc…
      There are some girls that would never pose like that, as models. so the fact that you do hints at something. That’s how it works and validates my point. girls are ruining it for other girls. so you may not agree but that is how we think. so therefore it doesn’t matter what you justify or believe in.
      Meaning I totally agree with you and happen to like what you are saying. but I see that you are indirectly doing the same thing without even noticing.


      • Jason

      • April 8, 2014 at 10:59 am
      • Reply

      to clarify, you are not wrong for putting up those pictures…. but you are not thinking how a guy will interpret it.
      its facebook, not a modeling website. Its facebook, not your portfolio.
      There is a difference and the fact that girls don’t know how to differentiate anything except complain about courtship is the problem.
      be a good girl and you will get a good guy. Thing is 95% of girls will say they’ve been attracted to the wrong type of guy. the badass guy.
      well THAT’s your fault and now they are paying for the consequences years later into their 30’s.
      im just upset b.c. its these girls that are forcing the good ones to lose their values. and i want a girl with good values.


        • Kaila Charice

        • April 8, 2014 at 11:45 am
        • Reply

        Jason, I know I am not wrong in putting up those pictures. I’m not sure what your profession is, but I have a few jobs that are based in the entertainment industry where social media is a significant tool. Facebook is not a modeling website, however, it is a social network, and believe it or not I have been contacted by designers multiple times via Facebook because my portfolio is accessible and I have booked jobs because of this.

        I have not lost my values and I am certain if you ask any of the people I associate with that they will back me up.

        I’m aware that not every model will pose as I have in some of my photos (although I have yet to meet one and I’ve been in this industry for over 5 years).

        As a model I am booked to be sexy, seductive, pretty, athletic, youthful, unique…and the list goes on.

        Perception is key. You will not find drunk bikini photos of me as I do not get drunk often and I cannot recall a time where I’ve been wearing a bikini while intoxicated.

        This being said, my article was not to point blame at one gender, it was to express some of the reasons I believe dating is different now than it was 50 years ago, and in my eyes it is not for the better, and this is due to BOTH genders making decisions. It sounds like you are trying to blame women and photos showing girlfriends having fun as the reason for these changes, when it sounds like it has more to do with how a man perceives these photos, regardless of the caption underneath them (in none of my photos do I write a provocative caption).

        If you base your actions around a woman on a photo you see of her holding a beer on the beach with friends instead of how she acts around you, then you are at fault.

        I appreciate your views and thanks for the follow on Facebook!


      • davidlacy

      • April 8, 2014 at 11:06 am
      • Reply

      “Any girls that have bikini pics and drunk slutty pics online, they are giving off an impression.”

      Wow. Just wow. I’m not going to politely banter with you as Kaila is. I’m also not going to focus on Kaila here as her modeling business is her business and as a happily engaged guy I don’t spend a lot of time talking about other women’s photos.
      However, I happen to have a VERY attractive fiancee. Few people would argue against that. And with her girlfriends she has some photos I’d call sexy — and apparently you would call slutty. And your AUTOMATIC impression that she would be free with her body is so laughably absurd I think I’m going to get the hiccups.
      And why the fuck should a woman have to think like a man for guys to approach her?
      By the way, Kaila also has photos of her dresssed as a scary fantasy demon lady (from what I can gather) as well as holding a huge-ass gun from a movie set.
      Yeah, Kaila already admits girls are PART of the problem when it comes to a casual attitude about sex. But your extra leaps about a woman’s photos are just ridiculous.


      • Jason

      • April 8, 2014 at 11:37 am
      • Reply

      Hhaha i see what you are saying but we were chatting about impressions and expectations.
      Online dating and this whole new world.

      You can’t blame the guy for these expectations anymore. That is my point.
      and its not absurd. the girls that respect their bodies in bed, should also do it in pictures. Somehow you and most girls are able to find a fine line between the differences.
      GUYS DONT. and before you get defensive… lets take tinder for example.
      The girls that post bikini pics will have more guys creep on them then the girls that don’t.
      That is a fact. go to a survey or something before you give an example of your fiancee. who cares. we aren’t saying that every model is a whore. but there are ways to give off impressions.
      and that’s nice of you back her up, (I have nothing against Kaila, I like what shes trying to say) but as always girls shy away from the main point. girls aren’t PART of the problem, they ARE the problem. its not the guy. if every girl said no to creepy guys, then things would change. but most girls still say yes. and now the good girls like Kaila are complaining.
      to write an opinion that there aren’t enough good guys and expectations are low is useless if not rude to the good guys out there.
      again, i was hoping to read something finally where a girl can reach out to other girls about how things are handled nowadays.


      • DonCockAlot

      • April 8, 2014 at 5:03 pm
      • Reply

      Dumbest shit I’ve read all day. In “normal” situations it eventually happens, so why prolong it like you did? You’re just a confusing, 5/10, prude. I actually feel bad for that guy. As someone else commented something about their vagina… Men have dicks as women have vagina’s and most women try to use it like it some magical power. Men will just go on to the next one that is actually willing, so don’t cry and say “there are no good guys out there”. You did it to yourself and chased them away. I hope another lady came over to “say hi” that night for him.


        • Kaila Charice

        • April 8, 2014 at 8:52 pm
        • Reply

        Hi DonCockaLot! Thanks so much for proving my point. I’m glad to have supporters out there in the world!!


          • DonCockAlot

          • April 12, 2014 at 10:59 am

          Welcome. There has to be two sides or the article and comments wouldn’t matter 🙂
          Kaila, can I take you out for coffee?



    • Wow. I have to congratulate you Kaila! Your voice on the issue of not being treated like a hump rump and acknowledged for all your inner beautiful qualities as well as your outer, has put some of the testosterone driven population’s hiney’s in a hoot. Good for you! Make lots more RUCKUS, dear heart. Nothing like a woman who speaks who speaks the truth.
      Guy?
      Your panties are in a bunch!


        • Kaila Charice

        • April 12, 2014 at 12:52 pm
        • Reply

        Thanks, Hiserly! (:



    • Kaila! You are spot on! Not all men think with their little head! Don’t change, you’re flawless! It’s too bad that LA has so many challenges for all genders. You are a smart, stunning young woman and I admire you and honor your willingness to share your thoughts on this.


        • Kaila Charice

        • April 12, 2014 at 12:51 pm
        • Reply

        Thank you for your support, Gary!


      • Jason

      • April 9, 2014 at 5:37 am
      • Reply

      I am just not understanding why the guy is at fault for thinking he might get some. if a girl goes to a guys apartment, especially in the beginning of their relationship or don’t really know each other well, then she is sending a message.
      or most guys think she is sending a message.

      the solution is not to continue to criticize the guys. The good girls should just not go to a guys apartment until she feels ready to be sexual.
      I know dave and others may complain about this but its really ridiculous that girls think they can do what they want and not foresee the consequences and then complain about it after.

      unfortunately there are girls that would go over just looking for sex, so since there are girls out there that do that, the good ones need to be careful and think twice before they put themselves in that situation.


      • Kaila Charice

      • April 9, 2014 at 6:11 am
      • Reply

      Jason, I think you missed the part in the story where I said he asked if he could take off my shirt and I said, “no.” If nothing else, that should have given off the vibe that I wasn’t going to sleep with him.


      • Jason

      • April 9, 2014 at 6:32 am
      • Reply

      Ok ok. so simply that guy usually gets in that scenario… he is a little stubborn and was clearly just going with the mentality that if you came over, he has a chance. He is probably very good looking also. So even after you said no, until you actually leave, he still thinks he has a shot. BECAUSE you came over in the first place.
      which just shows that guys that ask girls to come over so soon are probably looking for that, which is not a surprise to most girls or anyone for that matter. That is how guys are.
      so solution is not to bash his expectation, you probably should not of went over in the first place.

      again its very confusing for guys to differentiate btw good girls, semi- good, etc.
      if a good girl wants to be good, she will unfortunately nowadays have to make a greater effort in staying strong and not put themselves in situations that might lead to what happened here. and thats only bc there are girls out there that don’t want to be good and are not as disciplined as you.
      To say that its ok to go over to a guys apartment you barely know and then complain how dare him try to fool around with you , is just senseless to me.

      I think you learned from this not to go over to guys apartments so quickly, but for some reason you aren’t admitting that and putting the blame on the guy. For sure you will be more careful before making that decision next time.

      but you do deserve a lot of respect for sticking to you ideals and no matter what he looked like, you didn’t give in. Most girls aren’t as good as you.


      • Kaila Charice

      • April 9, 2014 at 6:45 am
      • Reply

      Jason, that story wasn’t about blaming him or me, we had been friends and hung out, it would be ridiculous to think that I cannot say hello to someone like that. He wasn’t just a stranger I met, we had been chatting for weeks and hung out in person, I didn’t feel threatened by him and if I had I obviously wouldn’t have gone over. And regardless of that, he said he was working at home and he didn’t have time to take a break to go get coffee, so I honestly thought I was just going to stay maybe 5 minutes to say hello and leave. I have no idea what his past experience is with inviting people over, but not once did I give off the impression that I would do anything aside from get to know him.


      • Hannah Sullivan

      • April 9, 2014 at 7:47 am
      • Reply

      As a 22 year old in the dating game, I can confirm that this is true. Especially the wink emoticon giving you butterflies. How pathetic our generation has become.



    • I’ll have to go with Ms. Brotherton, someone will come along. There is one problem. A good shot at true, long lasting, love does not come around very many times. When it does, it is up to you to decide if it is worth the effort. It is a leap of faith on the part of both parties. I’m with you on the sex thingy. A man that expects a woman to “put out” early in a relationship is disrespectful and thinking only of himself. Let people like this enjoy themselves.
      When love happens, you will know when it is right for you-you cannot rush it-love has a mind of its own-it is all powerful and you cannot control it. It will creep into everything you do and everywhere you go. It will make an honest person lie like a dog and call in sick so he can be with you. You will spend the first three years of true love in bed with your lover. Then you can go to work if you still have a job. It is wonderful so keep an eye out for the “One.”
      Donald


      • DonCockAlot

      • April 12, 2014 at 10:57 am
      • Reply

      Dear davidlacy brah, you’re so beta brah, never been kissed brah, so most likely never been laid brah. If YOU go READ BACK what Kaila said, they’ve hung out before several times before. Kissing and touching usually get the “butterflies” going amongst other things and one thing leads to another. I guess when you’re still holding you V card in your fannypack, anything past a first kiss might be scary.



      • Don,
        We could spend hours, days and weeks spitting clever little anecdotes back and forth. I could sit here deconstruct your bantering find your personal weaknesses and go in for the verbal kill. Based upon your responses to this thread you are evidently young. As evidenced by your participation on a self improving body building blog,(never underestimate the power of *journalists* to find shit out) coupled with the fact you so desperately hide your identity, you have not only issues of dissatisfaction with your body, you feel alone, isolated and somewhat ashamed of who you are.

        Society has taught us. There are the beautiful people and then there are the rest of us. Guess what? It’s all a big fat lie. Remove the outer shell from each and every one of us you have the same components. We love, we hurt, we get disappointed. We fear. Our hearts break. Our hearts heal. Maybe along the way, it was a pretty girl or an athlete at school that made you feel bad. I’ll tell you this much, It wasn’t Kaila.

        We all are entitled to voice. Kaila fluently and with humor and grace expressed her feeling about how she is treated as a beautiful woman, in a manner that made her feel badly.

        The tragedy of what transpired on this thread is that you went with the assumption Kaila was too good for you. Too pretty. Too Popular. Too Outgoing. You immediately went for her jugular verbally and never even thought to give her the benefit of the doubt she would be a worthy person to befriend. She would be a person worth getting to know, to have in your corner. The way you treated Kaila makes you just as bad as everyone and anyone that made you feel insignificant, inadequate not bulked enough, not tall enough not smart enough whatever.

        Rethink your strategy Don, I am pretty confidant you just became exactly what you hate.

        Vagina


          • Maya North

          • April 13, 2014 at 2:15 pm

          I believe you just won the best reply ever prize and I bow in tribute… <3



    • Don,
      Step away from the Iphone and resume that game of Magic The Gathering. Word is from your right hand you are a crummy date. We would never let you date our Kaila.
      xxoo
      Vagina


        • DonCockAlot

        • April 12, 2014 at 4:13 pm
        • Reply

        lul, we have another single, forever alone, sad journalist. Thing is Miss Kathleen, I don’t need my hand as I get more arse than a toilet seat.
        xoxo

        ps I don’t play Magic The Gathering… and I’m not on an iPhone. I have a Nokia 3310



      • Don, it is clearly apparent by your absurd replies to a young woman’s real concern’s about our decline in moral principle as a society, you are nothing more than a child.

        The words you speak from your mouth, reveal multitudes about your own character. Unfortunately, you feel some kind of slighted attitude towards the topic, which is merely revealing to the public, how truly insecure you are.

        Perhaps, your own thwarted advances have left you feeling bitter? I am sorry you are obviously in so much twisted pain, that you feel you must out lash at the nature of concern that many young women have today. Is it OK for a woman to feel that she is more than a sum of her parts?

        Would you like to feel you only equate to the worth of your wallet?

        Please don’t be bitter Mr. CockAlot. Perhaps, the lady wanted you to consider her company first and when a relationship of mutual trust and caring is formed, than maybe the car will start to rock all by itself.

        As you grow up you will find that consideration for the feelings of others first, in all manners, will bring joy and a full home to you.

        You really owe, Ms. Kaila, an enormous apology for your outright, disruptive behavior. In doing that, you may evade the inevitable karma-tic tidal wave of injustice that is cycling your way.



    • Isn’t a girl allowed to change her mind? And yeah, she can say “I want to have sex” and within five minutes change her mind. And your sole response should be “ok” and fucking drop it. I say this as a Magic the Gathering player.


      • El_Duderino

      • April 12, 2014 at 4:44 pm
      • Reply

      It’s not just about dating. In general, our society is being groomed to value instant gratification and shock value. Instant gratification from social media (i.e. “Likes”), and shock value from increasingly controversial scenes in movies or attitudes in music (I.e. Miley cyrus)


      • Maya North

      • April 13, 2014 at 1:56 am
      • Reply

      I’m hearing from Jason and DonGenitalName (aren’t you actually mortified to have chosen that name? Have you no dignity at ALL?) that you see women in terms of accessibility and your rights to have women and their bodies at your disposal. Neither of you seem to see women as people, but you also have these strange ideas about patriarchal standards of behavior and the consequences to women for not adhering to them. I advise you both to get over yourselves. You keep this up and you won’t have a human being as a partner. You will have something akin to a couch that you picked out in pretty much the same manner as you would furniture, which is what men do when they are either unwilling to or incapable of relating to women as people. Thing is, guys, you’re going to get old. You won’t be the (presumably) pretty, pheromone-radiating young men who think they can order up a woman like one orders up a hamburger. If you haven’t worked on YOUR skills as a human being, if you see women as fuckable furniture, then when you are old and baggy — YOU WILL BE ALONE. Even if you have a woman, she will do nothing but inhabit a space with you — but she won’t be yours and she won’t want you to be hers. we call that loneliness. We call it desolation. Cultivate yourselves as people. See women as fellow humans. I’ve watched this frequently and trust me, you keep this up, you are creating your very own unhappy endings, so WAKE UP, shut up and start evolving.


      • Heather Alani

      • April 13, 2014 at 5:34 am
      • Reply

      Hey Doncockalot, the paper bag does you justice! Glad to see you working on it! LOOOOL. Poor dude, The plaid undies are a perfect compliment. (You should wax before baring it all) Say Hi, everyone! It’s all abouuuutttt Mr….http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=161306693



    • There is a very simple answer for your question, which you already found – online dating made meeting women so much easier. Guys have way more options than ever, which makes each woman they meet more… “disposable” them. Approaching a girl and getting her number used to be a major achievement and made every such encounter and any subsequent developments all the more important/meaningful to the guy. Tinder, as you said, killed it.



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