• author
    • Kathleen Brotherton

      Columnist/Youth Editor
    • June 6, 2014 in Columnists

    Not just another pair of hot tits

    Grabbed your attention didn’t I?

    The hot topic bouncing around in my over-stimulated brain: my hot tits. I have to tell you they are, in fact, a lovely pair. At the ripe old age of 41, they’re still pretty much up where they belong.

    Being a woman of limited ass, I’m especially attached to my tits. The girls are a 38D, with perfectly lovely pink nipples. Moving right along… They are a part of my sexuality, whether it’s to draw in the opposite sex or to achieve orgasm.

    I stood topless in the mirror recently pondering them. I tried to gauge my own reaction to the thought of having them removed from my body and was overcome by infinite sadness. I love my breasts. I love their size. I love the way the hands of the man I love feels upon them. Or his mouth.

    They didn’t feed my children because I always had to go back to work immediately after giving birth. However, they were the resting place for the head of all my children, whether as infants or as the children they are today when they need comfort. Mommy’s squishy breasts are a great spot to get the tears wiped from their faces.

    I don’t let them peek out with much frequency but when I do, I love the attention that they bring. I love my tits. I love them. I don’t ever want to lose them.

    My aunt recently messaged me.

    “They found a lump in my breast.”

    What I saw in my head when I read that was one of my most favorite women in the world sitting on a train track with a speeding train heading in her direction. Why do our breasts, our lovely breasts, have to turn into life-destroying time bombs that sit upon our chest? My aunt got a clean bill of health, but that’s not always the case.

    Mae was my boss many years ago at a job where I  waitressed. She is amazing, sweet.. her laugh is infectious, her smile lights up a room. Cancer attacked her breasts. I ran into her in a store. She’d gotten so thin, so tired from the chemo that was killing the cancer in her body yet robbing her of so much more.

    “Girl, I’m getting a whole new set! My bitches are going to be up there like a 17-year-old girl!”

    We laughed and made light. I made declarations of how jelly I was to not be lined up for the perky tits of a 17-year-old. It hung there still. I wanted to grab her and scream at her chest.

    “What are you girls DOING and WHY! They are going to cut you off and throw you in a medical waste jar! STUPID TITTIES WHATS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY ARE YOU HURTING MAE!”

    These parts. They become a piece of our identity.

    “Hey, do you know Kat?”

    “Which one?”

    “You know the one with the big tits.”

    “Oh yeah!”

    I do not have a lump in either of my breasts. I am in no manner in danger of losing my breasts. Not today anyway.

    I can’t stress enough the extreme importance of breast self-exam. Touch your tits. Feel them, inspect them. Don’t be afraid of them. Men, if you love a woman, feel her up. Feel her up again. You like what you’re feeling? Pay attention to them. Some fractional difference you feel on Tuesday that wasn’t there on Sunday might be the difference between a mastectomy and a lumpectomy.

    I’m not just another pair of hot tits, but you best well believe I am a pair of hot tits.



    • Great reminder.


      • Kelvin

      • June 6, 2014 at 6:05 pm
      • Reply

      This is great. Great hook for an important issue. It makes me want to protect Cathi’s…I like “Breastesses.”



    • Do your checks get your mammograms save the ts ta’s


      • Maya North

      • June 6, 2014 at 6:51 pm
      • Reply

      So far they tell me that I get to keep what remains of my girls after the gastric bypass, sad little withered bananas that they are. I’m not sure I’d miss them, but I’m glad I don’t have to find out. They are definitely one of my husband’s great joys, which is as good a reason as any to me to keep them. And these fed my girl for almost 3 years 😉 😀



    • You know what Kathleen? This column got me to thinking about all kinds of things. They went popping in and out of my head with more than a little confusion. It is my sincere regret that there weren’t any pictures for they would have helped me tremendously to get the best idea of what you were trying to say. I would enjoy hearing more on this subject just in case someone asks me about , you know, things. Thank you soo much for this-Made my morning.



    • It is so funny you wrote this column, I was watching a video on reconstructive breast surgery and the tattoo artist that gives women back their nipples yesterday. Breast cancer is real and affects millions of women every year. I appreciate you wrote this article in light of aunt’s recent scare and just to shed light that it can in fact be anyone of us, at any given moment. P.s. The size of your breasts will make it difficult to find lumps, get help with that. 😉


      • Monique

      • June 9, 2014 at 11:08 am
      • Reply

      You are so freaking awesome girl!! Love this!! Thank you for this!!
      Love you!!


      • Kaila Charice

      • June 9, 2014 at 11:38 am
      • Reply

      Love this!! Self exams are super important! I think girls/women are afraid to do them, or don’t see the point, I know girls who don’t even go to the gyno regularly and I can’t understand why. Great article, Kat!!



    • Great Article. I have a link to a new technology that should be out next year. Early detection for Breast Cancer. I don’t care the cost. I will be wanting to get this for my wife.

      http://medcitynews.com/2014/02/wearable-bra-designed-spot-early-signs-breast-cancer-readies-clinical-validation-trials/



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