• People Pleaser-itis

    by Christy Sillman

    When you make a decision, do you think about how this decision will affect those involved? Would you be upset if you found out someone didn’t like you? Do you worry about giving off the wrong impression? Do you sometimes get anxious in new situations?

    If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, you may have a condition known as People Pleaser-itis.

    Symptoms include:

    ~ Diarrhea, nausea, constipation
    ~ Excessive wavering with decisions
    ~ Diaphoresis (sweating)
    ~ Over-commitment
    ~ Transient tremors
    ~ Excessive politeness
    ~ Complacency
    ~ Over-grooming

    The etiology is unknown, though genetic predisposition is suspected. This condition does not appear to be contagious, and research is demonstrating it may be congenital.

    Studies have now shown that there is increased risk of significant morbidity and mortality when acute failure is contracted as a secondary infection. Toxicity remains high when combined with interpersonal relationships involving abusive or advantage-seeking persons.

    Despite debilitating one’s ability to make decisions, this condition also produces positive side effects such as likeability, solid friendships, overachievement, respect, easy to get along with, and reliability.

    I am a sufferer of People Pleaser-itis. Although there seems to be no cure for this disorder, I’ve developed a system to help you cope with this chronic condition.

    Developing Selfishness is a three-step program with a “no money back” guarantee. The program helps you heal slowly and carefully through intense emotional sessions with… YOU.

    Step one involves asking yourself questions such as, “What do I really want?” “What are my dreams?” “What am I interested in?” but the key is to only take YOU into consideration when answering.

    Step two involves situational complications of People Pleaser-itis. When healing from the double infection of both People Pleaser-itis and Failure, you will be required to have to ask harder questions like “What did I do wrong?” “Was this even the right thing for me in the first place?” “Who was I even doing this for?”

    Finally, step three gives you the tools to help you live with People Pleaser-itis. “Developing Selfishness” will help you cultivate self preservation practices such as saying “no”, pampering yourself, and making decision based upon what YOU want — not what others might think/feel/judge of you.

    At first, family members who have contributed to the disorder will resist your participation in the program. You must adhere to the plan and defy the urge to please these people. They have to love you — they’re family.

    Warning: monitor yourself for signs of excessive selfishness, which will deteriorate the positive side effects of People Pleaser-itis. Excessive selfishness is a degenerative and debilitating disorder that has been proven to cause unhappiness.

    Ultimately, you can’t cure People Pleaser-itis, but you can overcome some of its challenges through incorporating yourself in the pleasing. (Don’t all treatments have sexual side effects?)

    You can start “Developing Selfishness” today, for the low-low price of daily installments of $14.99 (plus shipping & handling, and the cost of food). Please send all payments to ChristySillman@ipinion.us

    Refund policy: Your refund will be flatly denied.

    • Don’t worry, People-pleaser-itis wears off in your forties. Suddenly , you will wake up one day and realize you don’t give a rats ass what others think of you. It’s pretty cool.

      • Auntie Lisa

      • April 17, 2011 at 10:14 am
      • Reply

      Hollye’s right. It does get better with age. A little Co-Dependents Anonymous doesn’t hurt either. Good luck to you on your journey… :o)

    • If you have people-pleaser-itus, why did you answer “Oh hell no” when I sent you a friend request on facebook? I think that this condition is instilled into young females by their mothers so they will help with the dishes. In today’s world, it is even given to male children but only 50% of them are capable of doing dishes without breaking most of them.
      One sure cure is to find your “peoplepleaseritus” enabler and kill them.

    • Hilarious take on this toxic condition. I admit to still suffering from the disease on occasion. The flares usually teach me to not succumb the next time!
      Thanks, Christy, well done!

      • David Lacy

      • April 18, 2011 at 8:48 am
      • Reply

      I began the program about one month ago and I must say, I’m pleased with the results! Although with $14.99 flying out of my wallet every day, I’m finding it a bit difficult to be selfish. 😉

    • I can testify the system works. I am 15 years free of people pleasing and I love my new self. Others not so much as they got used to having me pay attention to them and not care as much about myself. Now they know I mean business.

      • Sarah

      • April 25, 2011 at 8:40 pm
      • Reply

      I LOVED this! I laughed out loud when I hit the Warning: Watch for signs of selfishness. lol

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