• Pet worshipping freaks

    According to Yahoo! News, Americans spent $53 billion on their pets last year, despite our shitty economy.  It’s amazing what people will do for their pets and yet they are willing, able, and ready to walk right over a suffering human being.

    I see it all the time.  People posting about their pets.  Fucking cat photos up my ass. 

    “Oh, look at my cat Buttons!  Buttons looks so cute!  Look at Buttons everyone!”  Cat worshiping freaks.  Do you know how many stupid goddamn memes I had to see with that so-called Grumpy Cat jerk-off?!  

    Grumpy Cat likes cheese.  Grumpy Cat hates communism!   Grumpy Cat loves feminism! 

    I’d love to see Grumpy Cat take a nice walk outside with a wolf.  Right inside the hungry wolf’s mouth.

    People and their dogs — another annoying waste of time.  Look at my dog everyone!  Look at me petting the dog.  Hey everyone, the dog took a shit on the rug!  Oh look, it’s a poopy from my dog — poopy butt!

    Everyone laughs and says awww.  Shuddap already! 

    All of this stems from the mere fact that people are so goddamn miserable, that they actually think their pets love them. 

    F you, you fat bastard.  My pet scorpion loves me!

    The world is a place ripe with human suffering, and it seems like nothing gets better in this world.  As a society, we transfer our hopes, dreams, love, lack of affection and anything else that makes us feel good upon our pet.  What we should be doing is loving our fellow man, but instead we hate those we are supposed to love and we elevate our pets to receive a love that quite honestly an animal cannot comprehend or reciprocate.

    We think our pets love us.  Our pets want one thing: food.

    Cat Fancy.  Animal Planet.   Oh, don’t get me fucking started on Animal Planet.  Stupid jerk-off channel.

    My mother bought this book about this moron called Cat Daddy.  It’s from this stupid show called My Cat From Hell.  Justin Galaxy, Jackson Galaxy, whatever his name is — he is as annoying as that Dog Whisperer guy Ceasar Milan. Another numb-nuts, the Pet Psychic.  This British broad telling us that the cat is upset because this kid keeps cramming firecrackers up the cat’s ass.  WOW!  The Pet Psychic is the second coming of Nostradamus!  She also predicted the financial crash of 2007!  

    Every time this broad does a reading, she always ends it with “Freckles wanted me to tell you that she loves you very much.”  The lady that owns the pet is always bawling her eyes out with crocodile tears.  Millions of kids go to elementary school starving and  the lunch program is the only way most kids in poverty actually eat during the day. 

    Huge crocodile tears from the owner of Freckles.  Trust me, with your oppressive love, Freckles is going to go play in traffic real soon. 

    Also on Animal Planet, I watched these idiots trying to save a dolphin and then after saving the dolphin,  everyone is cried like a little boy with a skinned knee. 

    Wanna get laid, men?  Just tell a hot chick you work with mentally challenged dolphins and you will make that chick click and squeak like a dolphin that was just harpooned and labeled as tuna.

    I am not saying it’s OK to be cruel to animals — I don’t condone that sort of sadism.  You just sort of wonder what would happen if the dolphin activist would worry about people for one second.

    Toys for pets.  Housing for pets.  Clothing for pets.  Schooling for pets.  Wow, what does this all sound like.  Do we wish that our pets could replace human beings?  

    BINGO!  Bingo was his name-0.

    People are so checked out of humanity and treated so harshly on a daily basis that pets become the human being we desire.  

    People say no.  Animals always say yes.

    Shelby, it’s dinner time.  Every time I call for the dog, Shelby makes her way over to the food dish and dives right into the bowl.  Shelby, wanna go outside?  It seems like the dog always wants to go outside when I ask for her to come.  Amazing!

    Cats are like helpless children, so we treat them so goddamn well that we think cats are little 2 year olds.  We baby talk them.  That’s a good girl!  Awww what a good girl!  Yes, you like being petted that way don’t you?!  Aww, she is purring!  Want to see that cat purr?  Put a hungry lion in front of the cat.

    I’m not saying you should treat animals like scum.  I’m not saying that caring about your pets isn’t important.  All I am saying is that a pet is not a replacement for human contact. 

    Fur babies, shut up with that nonsense.  Don’t become a pet worshiping freak. 

    Fifty-three billion dollars……

      • Kate

      • July 8, 2013 at 10:46 am
      • Reply

      If you want to get really riled up, come see the Vet. Hospital at UC Davis. It’s like the Taj Mahal. Over-the-top beautiful. I have never been in a human hospital that even remotely compares.

      • Tom Mcmasters-Stone

      • July 8, 2013 at 10:58 am
      • Reply

      If I put one of my dogs and my wife in the trunk of the car, and come back an hour later- only one of them is glad to see me. My dogs do love me, and I have no doubt- nor do they! That’s why my four have their own Facebook page. They would be thrilled to have you as a friend. Crew McStone. 🙂

    • I agree with you a billion present. But everyone knows I am not an animal lover. Never have been but all animals love me as they try to win me over. They never do.

    • I agree that it’s wrong when people find it easier to care for animals than humans. But don’t make fun that my life partner walks on all fours, yours all some pretty weird shit too. And plenty of humans just want you for food, and they want you to cook it for them, and then clean it from their shirts. I just think we all need to keep an eye on Tom’s trunk.

      • Jennifer

      • July 18, 2013 at 7:36 pm
      • Reply

      You sound like a very angry, hateful, scary man that shouldn’t be near children, or animals.
      And shouldn’t be writing for a respectful blog like ipinion.
      Your rant makes you sound like amfucking asshole. You don’t have
      A clue of the good and happiness pets bring children and adults alike.
      I’d say get a pet and maybe that cold dead heart of yours might warm up.
      I wouldn’t trust you with a nat.

        • davidlacy

        • July 19, 2013 at 7:54 am
        • Reply

        Matt actually has a dog, that he takes great care of. Maybe … uh … lighten up?? 🙂

      • Jennifer… it’s just humor… when Matt writes, imagine Lewis Black’s voice… it’s that kind of humor. WAY over the top.

      • Jennifer, I love you.

      • Mike

      • July 19, 2013 at 3:01 pm
      • Reply

      They are liars, Matt kills puppies and eats horrible animal hating things like bacon… Wait you eat bacon too? Hmmmmm well Matt still kills puppies and dances in dresses made of cat skin!

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