• author
    • Hannah Sullivan

    • July 13, 2013 in Columnists

    Please don’t Google me

    This week for my column, I was going to turn my crazy notebook scribbles into the best damn thing you’ve ever read. Instead, I’d like to tell you a little story about my online dating experience. I’ve been going back and forth for a few weeks now debating whether or not I actually want to write about my experience. My problem is that I never really knew how to go about it. I think after this column, I’m going to start.

    It all started a few months ago when I halfheartedly decided to sign up for the dating site my good friend told me about. She met a boyfriend on there and I actually met one as well last year. I deleted my first account after I met him and started up this new one after we broke up. It was kind of funny to be back on there with a different username because people I’d once talked to, using my old account, contacted me again. They obviously didn’t know it was me. One guy actually told me he had only been on there for a few months, when in actuality, he’s been on there for more than a year. Why lie about that? I’m not going to judge you for being single and using a dating website. I’m in the same boat as you.

    On Thursday, I was farting around on my phone when the dating site’s app let me know I had a new message. I’ve been ignoring this particular site because I’ve been dedicating all of my time to another site. I’m a serial profile maker — what can I say. The second site is my favorite between the two, so I’m not too sad about what happened.

    I open the message and it’s a freaking novel. At first, I wasn’t going to read it but then I thought to myself, this person took time out of their day to first read my profile and then send me a message. It would be rude not to see what they have to say.

    This guy starts off by telling me a little about himself. Seems totally normal right? As I continue reading, I realize I’ve made a huge mistake. He goes on to ask me why I deleted a certain picture of myself (which I did to upload a new one). Then he was giving me his opinions of columns I’ve written. Just as an FYI — I’ve never once talked this person or even know who he is. I’ve never disclosed where I actually write. It doesn’t say so on my dating profile either. Now, I don’t mind people giving me some constructive criticism — I actually welcome it. But when you bring it up out of the blue, I’m going to assume you’re a stalker.

    Since he knows where I write, I really hope he reads this. You’re a creeper, good sir! I deleted my account because of you!

    I’m sure he was being sincere but I mean he could have backwards Catfished me and just not ever mentioned it. For those of you who don’t know, Catfish is a television show about these two guys, Nev and Max, who help people find their online loves. These online lovers have never met in person and are usually never who they say they are. People come to these guys because for whatever reason, when they try to meet up, the other person always has an excuse. That excuse being they weren’t actually that tall, blonde girl, they’re really a fat old man.

    Google image search is the main tool of Nev and Max’s detective work. In the show, they take the pictures of the lover in question and drop them into a search. More times than not, they find out that their online love has stolen someone else’s Facebook pictures and has been pretending to be them. The main guy, Nev, fell in love online, got Catfished, and that is how the show came about.

    This show is one of my guilty pleasures so I suggest you watch it so we can talk about it sometime.

    Apparently the guy who messaged me took it upon himself to Google my pictures. He says it was because he wanted to make sure I was actually who I said I was. The profile picture I use for iPinion is one of the pictures I use on my dating profile. I guess because it’s associated with iPinion it will come up in a search. I say it “used to” be on my profile because I deleted immediately. It was my favorite picture too!

    I confronted him, obviously. No one’s going to go snooping into my life without answering to me about it. I asked him how he knew of the other picture and how he knew things about me. He gave me some story about how he saw my profile awhile ago but just hasn’t had the free time to message me. I’m sorry, but if you have the time to look at someone’s profile in such detail and go through the trouble of finding out if I’m the real me, then why not just message me and find out for yourself. Don’t go playing detective and dig around into my life. I do understand this is the internet and nothing is personal anymore, but come on!

    I do applaud him for being “safe” online because you honestly have no idea who you are talking to. But at the same time, it freaked me out hardcore. Not to mention, guy — way to be a giant puss about it. You can’t just take a chance like the rest of us do? Who knows what would have happened if we hit it off. I could have given him my Facebook, my number, and even agreed to a date. But no, that will never happen now. Not everyone is a coward hiding behind a computer screen, pretending to be something they’re not. I know I’m not.

    This experience also reminded me to be safe on the internet as well. Maybe not Google every person I talk to, but I’m definitely not going to be as naïve as I have been. You honestly don’t know who you’re talking to and that’s kind of half the fun of it. It also makes for great writing material, so I can’t stay mad at this guy forever.

    • How true it is. Oh, by the way, put a piece of tape over the camera portal of your laptop and phone.

        • Hannah Sullivan

        • July 13, 2013 at 5:20 pm
        • Reply

        Is that like water marking?

    • Hannah, you can be assured that nothing is private-case in point, your photos. I have been on and off dating sites for many years with big gaps in between and because my memory is so good I see the same people on there and they act like they are new to the site. Not true. I have found that the sites you pay for are better for screening. No investment , usually not really into serious dating. My manicurist was having a blast on all the free sites and got her fill of meeting men for hookups. She wanted that. Now she realized that if you have a roommate in your 50’s you are a loser, if you don’t own something, a condo, house, cottage, trailer or car there is something wrong. She is 47 and now is ready to pay to find love. I love going to her every two weeks and hearing the stories. She is recently divorced and wanted some excitement. She got it until she realized when she started to care for a guy he was off getting his next meal in more ways than one. It never worked for me either but I started later in life after being married for 20 years and then dating for 5 on my own. I never wanted to get remarried or live with someone and haven’t but have had boyfriends for many years and if I had married the 3 who have asked I would now be divorced 4 times. I don’t know you age but I would think you are young by your photo. Join organizations and volunteer and do charity work. Much better to find someone with your interests than on a dating website. My 2 cents.

        • Hannah Sullivan

        • July 13, 2013 at 5:26 pm
        • Reply

        I always welcome someone’s 2 cents 🙂

        I go for the free ones. You don’t get many keepers off of the free ones or even off the internet in general. It’s more of a fun way to meet people. I’m not overly serious about it. If it happens then great. If not, I won’t be too sad about it. I’m 21 and I have to agree with getting out there is better than sitting behind your computer. I’m just keeping my options open for now. You never know right?

    • Now that is just creepy!!! It sounds like you preempted a potential stalker! I do agree, however, that online dating can make for some very interesting writing material!! Good luck!

        • Hannah Sullivan

        • July 21, 2013 at 12:59 pm
        • Reply

        Thank you! Oh yeah..super creepy!

      • Norbie Kumagai

      • July 14, 2013 at 5:44 pm
      • Reply

      Hello Hannah… I sincerely applaud your for your bravery for venturing out. I occasionally joke that a couple of my close friends (Tom McMasters-Stone & Gary Sandy) thought they were doing me a favor by signing me up for “seniormatch.com”.

      I occasionally get these random e-mails from “seniormatch.com”, even though I am considerably younger than Mr. McMasters-Stone and have much more hair than Mr. Sandy.

      There are times I wonder about these iPinion guys, specifically Donald Sanders, Matt Naj & Kelvin Wade… That said, you are associated with a fantastic group of people!!!

      Look forward to reading more of your columns!!! (((HUGS)))

        • Hannah Sullivan

        • July 21, 2013 at 1:03 pm
        • Reply

        Thank you so much 🙂 Hey you never know right? A lucky lady could be waiting for you on there! Everyone on iPinion is just fantastic. Matt Naj is my very best friend!

    • So you may be thinking, how are you going to meet people if you’re not going to do online dating anymore? It’s simple: I’m going to meet people face-to-face. How it used to happen.

        • Hannah Sullivan

        • July 21, 2013 at 1:04 pm
        • Reply

        I’ve been meeting more people in person than online. I just talk to people online. It never goes anywhere anyways. But one can hope right?

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