• author
    • Tom McMasters-Stone

    • August 16, 2017 in Columnists

    Polite-ically Correct

    Absorbine Jr. as a metaphor of modern life? Sure.

    When I was a boy, AJ was used for a lot of things — cuts, scrapes, bug bites, sore muscles. In my houses, it still is.

    The label says differently. Lawsuits, I am sure, and perhaps the FDA, have reduced a very effective, significant first aid item from my youth to a simple treatment of sore muscles and pain relief. Somebody got a rash, or an inflammation — got their little feelings hurt, n’est pas? Somebody was offended, which is a way of life these days, led by the POTUS. Tantrum 101.

    As you probably remember, for Chris Rock, it was Robitussin. “Broken leg? Robitussin. Got to get me some of that ‘tussin!”

    Hysterical. Chris is a comedic genius.

    So, it’s an easy jump from Absorbine to modern political correctness, right?

    Nothing is like it used to be, the sometimes-not-so-good old days?

    That being said, I hate that term because it is most-often used by people who are prejudiced or judgmental, and who want to just say whatever they want about people different than themselves — gays, minorities, women, atheists, Jews, Catholics, etc.

    However, being polite does not mean ignoring reality — at least as I see it.

    There are Black people in the world. There are not any Negroes (in any form of the word), nor any brown, red, or yellow people. Period.

    Women are women, equal citizens. They are not girls, chicks, bitches, etc. Babe is a word you use with your wife or girlfriend. The “C” word? Never.

    Frankly, it’s long past time for women to run the country. Men have been screwing it up long enough, and matriarchal societies are usually more successful.

    Many Central and South Americans are Hispanic or Latino — or Ecuadorian, Panamanian, or Mexican.

    No Spic, which comes from Hispanic, no wetback. Besides, this was their country before it was ours and they’re welcome here with open arms in my book.

    Catholics should not be judged by their sexism, nor by the actions of a few corrupted priests. “Fish-eater” is classless, but not the end of the world.

    The Washington Redskins should simply change to the Washington Potomacs. They wouldn’t even have to change their logo, right? Local interest, local history — and honor for a local tribe.

    I have mixed feeling about the Cleveland Indians and the Golden State Warriors. And in Winters, CA, the logo of the high school, the Warriors, has caused them to be having the same discussion that takes place nationally off and on. Wolverines, Wildcats — or perhaps the Winters Wintuns, a local Native American population?

    For the Jews, I never knew what Kike meant, so I looked it up. The best explanation is that at Ellis Island they refused to use an “X” to make their mark, because it was too close to the Christian cross. So, they used circles, and the word comes from the Hebrew word for circle.

    Kike is not allowed, period. Jokes about money, or being rich, come from the old days, and the Christians are actually to blame. Non-Christian moneylenders were okay somehow under the rules of the Christian Bible, so the Jews became the bankers of old.

    Jew and Hebrew are acceptable words, but there is no “Jewing” people down on prices.

    Personally, I walk a fine line with the Jews, because a few of the Jews in my life are pains in the ass, one of them a self-described Jewish American Prince — one who likes to use the “N” word. AYFKM? And you objected when you pissed somebody off and they called you a Kike? Really? He leaves the shower a mess on those rare occasions he even takes a shower. I might have been heard to say that wandering lost in the desert for 40 years makes you pretty filthy.

    On the other hand, I told my friend who was trying to take a picture of the Jew cleaning the oven to knock it off!

    No oven jokes, no Nazi jokes, no heathen jokes.

    Quite simply, they are gays and/or lesbians. And there are bisexuals, transgenders, and those who are questioning.

    Nothing else, you homophobic pinheads. Get over yourself and your goddamn Bible, too. Leviticus is Judaic law, not Gentile — it’s for the Jews to follow, nobody else.

    Oh. “Abomination?” Right next to, literally, Man Lying Down With Man, is eating shellfish. If being gay is like eating lobster, bring on the conversion therapy!

    The bottom line is this: If you want to complain about the current environment being too “politically-correct,” you are probably an asshole. (_*_).

    People should be typically be just described as they prefer. Yes, once they were Negroes, but now they are not. Just like WASPs don’t particularly like to be described as gringos, and we get particularly miffed when the native Hawaiians describe us as Haoles, right?

    How about “polite-ically” correct? Try it. It’s not that hard. If you struggle with being considerate, with being a decent human being, try AA — Assholes Anonymous.

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