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    • Randy Graham

      Columnist
    • May 22, 2013 in Columnists

    Recipe for Disaster

    Robin Fisher & Randy Graham in Truckee [1978]

    What goes into a recipe for disaster? Here’s my surefire recipe served up one cold winter evening many moons ago:

    Ingredients
    1 young man with very little cooking experience
    1 very hectic daily schedule
    1 16-ounce bag of dried green split peas
    4 cups water
    1 4-quart pressure cooker
    1 full measure of eagerness to please his new wife
    A dash of recklessness

    Directions:

    Preheat your nervous system with a stress-filled day. Drive 40 minutes in bumper-to-bumper traffic from downtown Sacramento to Roseville getting home late. Rush into the house to start dinner for your new wife hoping it will be done just before she gets home (you want to surprise her with a hot bowl of homemade split pea soup). Apply the wizardry of gadgetry to short cut cooking time of split peas using the pressure cooker you got as a wedding gift.

    I found out that split peas mush up very quickly in a pressure cooker. I also found that they clog the relief valve. When the valve is clogged you have a recipe for disaster. Robin walked in and saw me holding a bowl up to the kitchen ceiling trying to catch the dripping green goop that I had hoped would be soup for dinner.

    I don’t remember Robin’s exact words but they were something like “What the hell?” Then she started to laugh. “Your thoughtfulness” she said, “rates five stars… your presentation, not so much.”

    For more vegetarian adventures, see Randy’s “Ojai Valley Vegetarian Blog” book at CreateSpace.com



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