• author
    • Hollye Dexter

    • August 9, 2014 in Bloggers

    Say ‘thank you’ when they knock you down

    When I got fired from my job in June, it pretty much knocked me flat. Not only had this been a job, it had been a calling. Add to that the betrayal by people I’d thought were my friends.

    My true friends rushed in to lift me, like emotional EMTs.

    Amy said, “You haven’t lost anything. I know you will find the medicine in this poison.”

    Dani said, “You’ll get through this, and I will help you.”

    Erin said, “Fuck them. I’ll be right over with wine and take-out,” which at the time were my favorite words.

    My Facebook inbox lit up like a Christmas tree as my friends across the country got wind of the news. They said, “We love you. We’ve got your back. Nothing can erase all the good work you did.”

    A few days later I talked with my friend Julie, and she said, “They haven’t knocked you down. They have elevated you.”

    “Elevated me? How?”

    “Because I know you. You will find the good in it. You’ll write about it, and you’ll share your story with others. In the end you will be stronger because of it. You will rise above this, and that’s how they have elevated you.”

    Of course, I hadn’t thought of it like that.

    Author and spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson says that when someone deflects a miracle from you, when they block goodness that is meant for you, the Universe will hold the miracle in trust, and will find another way to make sure you receive it. It may come from another person or a different job, or another door will open that you never knew existed.

    In other words, when someone tries to knock you down, you should really thank them for teaching you courage and strength, and also for teaching you who you don’t want to be, because in the meantime, all the good things that are your due are still on their way.

    No one can really ever take anything from you. It’s up to each of us to lay down in defeat, or to elevate.

    I choose to elevate.

      • Paula DeFilippo

      • August 9, 2014 at 10:16 am
      • Reply

      You are an amazing writer, Hollye! Thanks for these words – I love your spirit!

      • Maya North

      • August 9, 2014 at 10:37 pm
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      The last time my father got abusive, he did it in front of my daughter, who had never believed me, my husband who thought I’d been exaggerating and my aunt, who always thought I’d brought it on myself. This time, clearly, I hadn’t and this time, I had witnesses. So — now I had vindication, proof I hadn’t imagined him doing that all those years and that I wasn’t crazy, and everybody got to see for themselves what he was capable of and had spent a lifetime doing to me. By the time hubby and I had gotten to Baskin-Robbins (he said “I’m here for ya, babe — what can I do?” as we walked out the door. I said, “I want ice cream and I want it now!”), I had realized all this and what had been yet another heart-breaking trauma had become one of the best things that had ever happened to me. My dad and I now have a very sweet and tender relationship — which took a few years of work but was totally worth it, but none of the people who had previously doubted me do now. No downside to that. <3

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