Two extremely attractive, busty women in bikinis holding a huge piece of meat (bigger than actual size) between two buns, open their mouths to take a bite of a large juicy, messy … burger … as ketchup runs down the sides of their mouths and sweat drips down their chests.
I stop to fan myself and grab the closest chair to rest a moment and calm my rapidily beating heart. For a moment there, I was confused and thought the well known Carl’s Jr. advertisement was selling sex and not burgers.
Ads like this one are not uncommon. Nudity and sexual innuendos are splattered all over television, billboards, the internet and magazines. From clothing, food, perfumes, and even cars (I wouldn’t have thought that a car could be sexy, but the commercials have pretty much convinced me otherwise) sex is everywhere. Though they tend to piss off some of the conservative population, who fight to eliminate all “offensive,” provocative ads, pictures, or shows, big businesses are not stupid. They know what attracts attention and they know what sells.
It’s all about the sex appeal.
A recent survey showed that it is, in fact, the conservative and more religious states that have the highest consumption of porn. Wait, what the … hello? Hypocrites! That just really makes me so….. so…. uhmmmm, er, eh… I’m not sure how I feel. I think I’m a bit confused actually. I have to admit that I both hate and love sex, the innuendos and the provocative images that are so widely displayed everywhere.
Having been informed through a religious filter most of my young life that sex is both dirty and good but only good “when a mommy and daddy love each other very much,” and that any man wearing shorts (even a modest pair) has disgustingly gross legs, and any woman in a bikini is a slut, I struggle at times deciphering when sex or “sexy” is dirty and when it is good. If a guy walks across the TV screen donning only a tight Speedo and a very tanned, muscular body and I stop and do a double take, is that bad? If that same guy jumped out of the television screen and promised to “rock my world” and then we spent the next three minutes “shake, rattling and rolling,” is that wrong? (Well duh, that’s a no brainer! Three minutes, really? Definitely wrong!)
I have to be honest, though, and risk being dubbed a hypocrite. When I see a hot woman, showing off lots of cleavage (i.e. a slut), I can get defensive. I start up with my comparison game. (I call it a game, but in reality it is not a game that is any fun at all and I always end up losing). I find every imperfection that my body has that she doesn’t and tell myself that this is what a real woman is supposed to look like. Are the images of beautifully made up women, dressed provocatively in ads, Playboy, on TV or Hollywood magazines contributing to the problem? I would think so, but only in a very minute way. The real issue is deeply rooted in one’s own sense of self worth, an issue I constantly battle and I’m pretty certain other women struggle with as well. There are thousands of plastic surgeons out there willing to transform an imperfect woman into “the perfect woman” with just a few snips and cuts, which both entices me and pisses me off at the same time.
Really though, the major reason sex can be bad or wrong is when it is used as a weapon to hurt or exercise power over another person – the molestation of a child or the rape of an unwilling victim. When this happens, it almost inevitably destroys a victim’s life or at the very least, any semblance of a normal one. Are we creating sexual deviates because of all the obscene material everywhere you turn? Some may answer “yes,” but I don’t believe this is entirely the case. People who hurt others this way are sick, evil and twisted, in need of serious mental therapy, as well as castration of certain body parts. I do not believe that eliminating sexually explicit material will eradicate those sick bastards.
There is plenty of immorality in the world today, but what I consider immoral might not be another person’s definition. I believe anyone can choose to live his or her life as he or she wishes as long as he or she is not hurting anyone and it is mutually consensual between adults. Who am I to make others live by my standards? Threesomes? Polygamy? Swingers? Not into it, but if anyone else is, then what the heck?
Myself, I prefer a monogamous relationship, as it can be exciting, loving, secure and rewarding. Sometimes however, in a monogamous relationship, sex needs a bit of spicing up to prevent it from becoming redundant or monotonous. In that case, sex therapists often recommend use of sex videos, toys, positions, role play, or having sex in different settings for couples. Some couples might choose to turn on a movie, search an adult website, dress up or just find another setting other than the bedroom for their love making.
But a word of warning: you may need to come up with a good excuse to tell the cops as to why you are both sitting in the drivers seat while driving 55 miles an hour down the highway very late at night.