• Somewhere Else, We Might Be Enemies

    by Kelvin Wade

    You’re different from me.

    You believe that if we cut taxes, especially on corporations and the wealthy, and ease regulations, we can grow the economy. (The third time has to be the charm, right?) I believe taxes should be higher on those who can afford to pay more while protecting the middle class. With more money in the pockets of the middle class and poor, we’ll spend more, drive demand and create jobs.

    You think we shouldn’t leave Afghanistan so quickly and support keeping 49,000 soldiers in Iraq. I want to be out of those basket case countries yesterday, leaving a quick reaction force there and keep those drones flying to kill threats in Pakistan and elsewhere.

    You think marriage should only consist of one man and one woman. I think marriage should simply be a contract between individuals without regard to gender (with no fear someone is going to end up marrying their Golden Retriever.)

    Viewing healthcare as a privileged commodity, you object to “Obamacare” and believe free market competition should be the solution to affordable healthcare. Having grown up in a Navy family with the benefit of “government healthcare,” and having seen my mother assisted by said healthcare in her final years, I have no fear of government involvement in health care. I see healthcare as a right.

    You think Sharia Law and terrorism are two of the biggest threats to America. (What? No fear of Klingon invasion?) I think the lack of dads in homes is a far greater threat.

    You support Herman Cain for president who, if elected, will require any Muslim appointee to take a special loyalty oath. I think Cain should try actually reading Article VI Section 3 of the U.S. Constitution that forbids religious tests of government officials.

    You also like Michele Bachmann and the Tea Party. I laugh my elitist laugh.

    You don’t believe in manmade climate change, oppose stem cell research, and want intelligent design taught in schools. I’m praying to God that people start taking science seriously again.

    You have strong pro-life views. While I support some restrictions like parental notification, to me this isn’t a government issue. It’s between the woman and her doctor.

    You sit in front of your TV, tin foil hat on, watching Sean Hannity. I sit in front of my TV, bong in hand, watching Real Time with Bill Maher.

    You’re afraid of subversive organizations like ACORN, unions and the New Black Panther Party. I’m afraid of subversive organizations like Fox News and the Republican Party.

    You’re a different religion. A different race. You’re married. I’m not. You rent. I own a home. You’re a military veteran. I’ve never served in uniform. You have higher education. Hard Knocks gave me an A-.

    In Elsewhereistan, we could be violent enemies seeking to kill each other because our views are so different. But here, we’re Americans. And we can set everything aside, have a beer and watch a ball game together. That’s just one of the things it means to be an American.

    Even after 235 years, dissent is still welcome. Hell, it’s encouraged.

    Happy Birthday, America!

      • David Lacy

      • July 3, 2011 at 11:46 am
      • Reply

      Love this Kelvin. Perfect feature piece.

      • Kim Orendor

      • July 3, 2011 at 2:42 pm
      • Reply

      Well said.

      • Judy

      • July 3, 2011 at 3:36 pm
      • Reply

      What a great piece for the Fourth! It’s hard to keep complex perspectives going and you help us to do that in this thoughtful essay. Thanks.

      • Jesse

      • July 3, 2011 at 8:20 pm
      • Reply

      Amen Brother. Proud to call you that too. Jesse

    • I am so sharing this. I so agree with everything you said. Happy 4th of July, Kelvin.

      • Kelvin

      • July 4, 2011 at 12:32 pm
      • Reply

      Thank you. Have a great 4th. Wish I had a pool.

      • Jose

      • July 4, 2011 at 12:44 pm
      • Reply

      once again, aluminum hats, tin foil has not been sold in years!!

      Happy 4th my friend.

      • Kendall

      • July 4, 2011 at 5:23 pm
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      Well, OK, some of your false choices had my blood pressure up, but I hung in to the end, and I get it. You know, homes, that I put my ass on the line for all the freedoms, speech (and therefore dissent) included, and I join you in amazement and joy that this mad, chaotic system has worked so well and for so long.

      Jose, I have a gold card at Tinfoil-R-Us, and can get you great discounts!

      • Kelvin

      • July 7, 2011 at 4:01 pm
      • Reply

      Kendall, it’s not often I set up a straw man to burn him down but it felt really good. LOL It was for a good cause. You know I’m going to needle the right. You’re one of the reasons I get to do what I do.

    • You knock ’em out of the part every week, Kelvin! 🙂

    • Park. I meant park.

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