• author
    • Maya Stiles Parsons Spier

      Columnist, Editor-in-Chief
    • May 11, 2016 in Columnists

    A storm of stupid in a toilet bowl

    You know, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender – people are people.
    Judith Light

    It hit me like a half-frozen water balloon just out of my line of sight. In all this vile kerfuffle over trans people and using the bathroom, has it occurred to any of these potty hysterics that if a fully transitioned trans man goes to the women’s bathroom — and believe me, they look authentic — a cis man (who identifies with the gender assigned at birth), quite indistinguishable from a well transitioned trans man, will easily be able to walk in and people will assume that they’re trans? This basically gives a pass to any cis man to walk into a women’s bathroom!

    Are you fecking well kidding me? What part of stupid is escaping these bigoted chicken littles? Have they even examined the logic of it?

    Here’s something else. We go to the bathroom with gay people all the time — without incident — but according to the gibbering, bigoted disinformation the right is spewing, they are a danger to little boys (they absolutely are not — do your research on pedophilic orientation) — yet all this yammering hysteria is over trans people.

    If it was actually about anything other than hate, they would be coming unglued over all sorts of people and bathrooms — or gym locker rooms!  OMG! Your sons and daughters are in gym class and showering with gay kids!  YOU are showering at the gym with gay men and women!  You are!  OMG!  OMG!  OMG!

    So tell me, what happened to you in those locker rooms? Anything?  No?

    There ya go, ya nincompoops. Nothing. Freaking. Happened.

    A long time ago — and I would attribute it to the author if I could — an anonymous Army colonel sent a letter to Time Magazine (long before they abolished that whole bit of bigotry) and said, “With all the gorgeous gay men who actually want me, why the hell would I want some skinny little boy shaking in terror?”

    The great majority of us only want people who want us, too – trans, gay, straight or anywhere in between. I’m certainly not drawn to people who would skitter, screaming, up the walls.

    But back to the topic at hand.

    Bigots, do us both a favor and go out and Google trans men and see what you find. You will generally find people who look like men. I’m keeping it only to men here since I don’t hear much about trans women in bathrooms, although they’re in a whole lot more danger than cis women in women’s bathrooms – go out and Google “murder of trans women 2016” and be horrified if you are capable of it (if you celebrate, don’t tell me — this red belt in MMA doesn’t need the practice that badly).

    You will see a whole range of guys — some in the early stages of transition, some looking just like ordinary guys, but you will also see others gorgeous enough to be models — well-muscled, broad shouldered, bearded people with deep voices. Some of them are literally outrageously handsome. Now, for unbigoted me, not neutered even at my age, it might be kind of a treat to get to meet guys this juicy looking in the women’s bathroom. Yeah, they’re mostly young enough to be my children and grandchildren and yeah, these days I’m more likely to want to adopt them than date them, but there’s no age that a person stops appreciating the gender to which one is designed to be attracted. So perhaps to me it would be kinda fun to get trans men into the women’s bathroom.

    But that’s just silly. If that’s the case, get everybody into one big bathroom so we can look admiringly at anybody we want. Or not. Believe me, though, once we’re all exposed to enough bodies for long enough, the prurience does wear off — just ask anybody who has ever been to one of those hippie Rainbow Gatherings where half the people strip naked and spend the entire time in the buff. You honestly stop caring within about five minutes.

    The real truth is that predators will find a way and it has nothing to do with who is cis and who is trans. It’s one of the reasons that young women and girls tend to go into bathrooms in herds – safety in numbers. We aren’t prey because of trans men and women. We’re prey because of a misogynistic, patriarchal culture that tells men that they are entitled to access to our lives, our time and our bodies whether we want them to our not.

    So work on that, people – the real problem — and leave the nice trans people alone to pee in the bathroom appropriate to how they identify.


    • Most people who are terrified of trans people have never even met one. As far as they know!

        • Maya Spier Stiles North

        • May 16, 2016 at 5:37 pm
        • Reply

        It’s one of the most ridiculously ironic aspects of the whole busines…

      • Terri Connett

      • May 24, 2016 at 4:30 pm
      • Reply

      Ya nailed it, Maya! And you made me laugh along the way!!

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