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    • Cathy Speck

      Columnist, Photographer
    • November 2, 2013 in Columnists

    The day after Halloween

    die for mom 9

    Me sans make-up for “Die Laughing with Cathy Speck” — we raised almost $10,000 for ALS TDI. Awesome!

    Wow! While I sit in my recliner, time slips by like Casper the Friendly Ghost slips through spaces in a doorway — what a tasteful description of death softly knocking on our back door, or maybe it’s all the way back to the barn door. Who really knows? Maybe it’s just the wind. Thanks, ALS.

    Anyway back to living in the here and now, and now back to when…

    When I was still working in the Co-op, I was in charge of Halloween staff costume festivities. I stretched it out to three days, so that all the staff that wanted to dress in costume at work had the opportunity to do so.

    I dressed up and down all three days, of course, and I loved dressing in all sorts of drag — as a creepy old man professor smoking Camel cigarettes inside the Co-op, as a nine-months pregnant soccer mom, and as a washed-out former 1980 rock star who knew no personal /physical boundaries. And then I was a boys’ baseball coach — creepy, unshaven and in need of antiperspirant, in addition to many other amazingly disgusting and effective disguises. The very last time costume I wore was my Lou Gehrig outfit two years ago. Totally cool and morbid, yes!

    Before ALS knocked on my front door, I truly wished that I could wear costumes 365 days per year. No, that’s an exaggeration — let’s say 314 days per year. I like to get very merry and festive during the Christmas season, especially when we’re Christmas caroling in the local assisted-living places and skilled nursing facilities. Hmmm, I guess I can still dress up — like maybe a one-legged, overgrown elf, or a masochistic Yule log.

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    Me again, flapping my atrophied muscles for your viewing pleasure!

    These days, my walker/scooter/chair/neck brace are dead giveaways. Gee, let me see… is it… Cathy Speck? Yup! Right again. I ain’t fooling no one, not nobody, not no how! (sorta said the cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz.) Oh well, I had a blast for many, many years, in fact I had enough fun for 23 people and their cousins. These days instead of looking like Diana Nyad, I could send photos of what I look like at home when I’m not all “prettied-up.”  No, that idea is too specky. I mean spooky!

    Oh well, what the heck — Mazie wants to show her spooky pictures, and so does Fluffy, my friend Karina’s dog. I can’t deny them their canine eye candy, so I’ll put all of our photos out there, just be fair and to be fairly kooky.

    I am not a toy. Or…?

    Cheers and chuckles & oodles of poodles, or Pekingese & monkeys too,

    Cathy

     

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    This is truly the scariest photo because it’s no joke —I bit into an organic Fuji apple and my full dentures came out with the apple. I wasn’t even ” bobbing for apples.” Do people still do that? Nowadays it sounds so unsanitary. Should we bob with plastic produce bags over our heads? You know those plastic bags that clearly state: “This is not a toy. Do not place this bag over your head.”
    Now that so many cities, counties and seemingly galaxies are banning plastic bags, the very nature of good ol’ American traditions are slipping away like Casper the friendly ghost slips through spaces in a doorway.
    Now that we’ve come full-circle, so to speak, let’s just keep spinning faster, faster and faster until we get dizzy and fall down… and maybe barf… but not into a plastic bag.

     

     



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