• The Devil’s Rejects

    by Kelvin Wade

    I shouldn’t write this. Years ago I wrote a column about the problems I was having with my next door neighbor. He was a balding older gentleman with a beer belly and gray man-sweater who fancied over-watering his lawn while standing outside clad only in a towel around his waist. His watering soaked my yard and led to so much runoff that the water department came to my house thinking I was using too much water!

    Well, the same day that column ran, the neighbor in question died. Remarkable coincidence. I had nothing to do with it.

    So his widow moved out and rented out the house. Her current tenants have been there about 15 months. I think they’re only there because Satan evicted them from their last address. There are two sisters that appear to be in their 20s that I call the Ugh Sisters. People think I’m referring to their clock-stopping looks but listening to them talk makes you want to groan, “Ugh.”

    They argue constantly. Loudly. Profanely. Publicly. While they’re white, they speak ebonics at a breakneck pace with voices that sound like their mouths are full of oatmeal. To listen to their arguments one would think there are two people over there named the F word and the N word.

    They invite their dirtbag friends over to sit in the driveway or garage and do drugs. Now I live in California so I’ve got no problem with people smoking marijuana. But there’s a lot more than weed being ingested over there because weed doesn’t keep you up all night long.

    That’s right. They’re outside all night some nights. It’s not uncommon to hear laughing, yelling and fighting at 2 or 3 a.m.

    There’s an older woman who rarely comes out of the house but is just as profane, loud and nasty as the others.

    That woman has a 17 or 18-year-old daughter, whose mother told us is off her meds, who has had frequent fights with her ever-changing boyfriends. She once sat crying and banging her head on the front door threatening to kill herself for so long I considered tossing my .357 out there for her to use. Now that’s doubly terrible from me because I helped found a Survivors of Suicide group!

    We’ve watched people in cars pull up and buy drugs. The people who live there zip down to the street to service the buyers like waitresses on roller-skates with trays of burgers and malts.

    Then there are the children. There are four or five or a million kids. They’re as foulmouthed as their parents. They play on the roof of the house. The oldest, a 10 year old, smokes with her mother’s blessing. They walk along the back fence while holding onto the low-hanging power lines. The world is their garbage can. They trample people’s flowers. They steal from front yards. They throw lemons at people’s houses. They’ve egged cars, including mine.

    There’s a baby that hardly ever comes outside wearing anything but a diaper no matter what the weather. A saggy diaper. And the baby will be outside at all hours. We once saw it on the driveway at midnight or stumbling out of the garage by itself during the day.

    The neighborhood has CPS on speed dial and they do come out. But it has me wondering just what has to happen for a child to be removed from a house?

    Last Christmas, our Neighborhood Watch group decided to surprise the Neighbors from Hell with dinner, knowing they don’t always have food over there (you know, with the price of drugs and all). My girlfriend and I bought presents for the kids. We delivered the food and presents and they were surprised and amazed. It made us all feel good.

    Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago when I hear the “adults” over there talking about going to some charity to pick up food. They were complaining about the quality and amount of food that they get. It was all I could do to keep from pulling my hair out.

    Sure we call the police. But what the neighbors don’t understand is that I call the police for THEIR safety because I’m ready to twist off and they need protection.

    The tenants before this crowd was a couple of crackheads. But they didn’t disturb the neighborhood. They just stayed in the house smoking crack. I never thought I’d be in a position where I would rather have crackheads for neighbors.

    The Neighborhood Watch is trying to get the owner to do something. Court may be our next option.

    If you have good neighbors, take them a pie or flowers this week to let them know you appreciate them. Because we’re looking to evict the Neighbors from Hell and they could end up in YOUR neighborhood.



    • Kelvin, you need to move to Winters!!!


      • Christy

      • April 24, 2011 at 11:23 am
      • Reply

      Woah…my neighbors from hell just became the neighbors from purgatory. This sounds awful, I hope you get something done soon! Take pictures of thing, get the video camera out…you’re going to need evidence.



    • Kelvin, so sorry for you. I have never lived in a neighborhood where anyone was like this. All my neighbors are good people and all watch out for each other. I would just report drugs deals and hopefully, the owner will lose the house unless they kick them out. Do you live in an area of section 8 housing? Sounds like they are illiterate as well. A deadly combination with drugs. Why have they not taken the children out of the home if drug dealing is going on? Keep reporting. Sometimes it takes a village to make the change happen. The owner can lose their house for drug dealing inside it with rentals.



    • Know what the difference between a Meth Head and a theif is? They both will steal from you but the Meth Head will help you look for it after they steal it.


      • Tracy

      • April 25, 2011 at 8:43 am
      • Reply

      Gosh Kelvin, sounds like our former neighbors found their way to your street. We went through something similar a couple years ago with our next door neighbors who moved into the rental house. Drug deals, all night parties, endless “trailer trash” profanities, fights, scary looking men with tear-drop prison tats peering over the fence line into our backyard. It all finally culminated with the lady of the house coming unglued and taking a bat to her own car windows after a fight with her husband. I walked out our front door to a street filled with police cars and a bunch of cops with their guns drawn. That was the final straw for me. We did everything in our power to get the owner to evict them and they finally were. We now live in peace…at least until the next renters move in.



    • I don’t understand the landlords in these situations. Being a landlord I always look for the best available tenants always considering the other tenants in the decisions as well. I have had to only ask one tenant to go and he was not bad but just was paranoid about other people because of his own drug use. He once went into another bldg and thought it was his apartment even though the two buildings could not have been more different. I had help from his Mom as he was in real trouble with drugs. A good kid and talented but unable to control his addiction. Don’t landlords know that these kind of tenants can only leave destruction in their wake. I wonder if the houses took Section 8 housing because other landlords have had trouble with this type of arrangement. I understand helping the poor get housing but not illiterate, drug using, crazy people.


      • Kelvin

      • April 25, 2011 at 12:12 pm
      • Reply

      They’re quite the specimens. I do video/audio record their fights (and put them on YouTube). The cops have been out to see them many times. The police came out and made the kids clean up my front yard (because they’d thrown so much trash and toys in it.) Code enforcement has been out. CPS has been out many times.

      I was trying to sleep on Christmas Eve but there was this constant thumping sound outside my window at 2 AM. I yelled out, “Hey!” The thumping continued. I yelled again, “If you guys don’t stop that noise….” The thumping continued. I flew out of bed and went out on the front porch and said, “Hey, stop making that noise. It’s 2 in the morning!” A male voice said, “Sorry!” and a female voice said, “Geez, we’re just trying to chop some fire wood.” What???

      I used to call the landlord and complain but she changed her phone number. I guess she just cares about receiving that rent check. We’ll end up in court. We’ve always had great neighbors but our luck ran out.


      • Kelvin

      • April 25, 2011 at 12:15 pm
      • Reply

      There are really only two problem houses on the street and the people at these two houses are friends. Of course. The rest of the neighbors are good people.



    • I soooo feel your pain Kelvin. We have renters right next door who, in addition to being trash themselves, have vicious pitbulls that have attacked many of our neighborhood pets, including my dog ($400 vet bill). Finally the dogs were removed, after a year of hell, not being able to walk my dog, and my child not being able to play outside. Now they have a new pitbull. The landlords ignore our calls.
      If you’ve suffered any damage, you can file a claim against the landlord’s insurance company, and they could lose their homeowners insurance. Once they get their insurance cancelled, it’s near impossible to get anyone else to take them. That threat will usually grab the landlords attention.



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