• The Negro’s Birth Certificate…

    by Tom McMasters-Stone

    The President of the United States released his birth certificate, so the country finally knows that he was born in Hawaii.  

    Phew.  That’s a relief.

    Well, not really.  What it was really was a very, very sad moment.

Despite what you have may have heard, Barack Obama released his short-form birth certificate to the world way back in 2008.  “Short-form” has been used as a pejorative, synonymous with “incomplete,” to fan the flames of this ridiculous conspiracy theory.  In fact, short-form is the same birth certificate most of us have in our file cabinets, our top dresser drawers, or the one we know is “around here somewhere” but don’t remember where.

There are reasons that long-form birth certificates are not routinely issued and, in Hawaii’s case anyway, are restricted by law.

Certainly, one reason it should be restricted is illustrated by the child of The Sperminator, who has had his world turned upside down through no fault of his own.

The other reasons?  Think about it.  What’s the secret question to your Yahoo account? Online banking site? Your E-Trade login?

Mother’s maiden name.  Father’s middle name.  One or the other’s place of birth.  State or country where they were born.  I think you get the idea.

Despite “the facts, ma’am,” the racists, the right-wing pundits, the conspiracy theorists, the wet tea bags, and a variety of other detritus have kept the birth fires fanned. Hell, even after the long-form version was released, the number of Republicans nationwide that have their doubts is still in double digits.

No less a celebrity than Baltimore Orioles’ outfielder Luke “Dread” Scott still has doubts that it is a valid certificate, thereby trashing the long-held myth that major league baseball players had to make the very difficult choice between playing ball or becoming rocket scientists.
And, of course, we are all still holding our collective breaths hoping that Chuck Norris will weigh in.

At the end, the master racist of the hour was Donald Trump—businessman, blowhard, narcissist, hair-wreck, bigot, and record-holder for—I forget which he has more of, bankruptcies or marriages?

Trump sent investigators to Hawaii and repeated ad nauseam his outrage over “the greatest hoax” ever perpetrated on the American people.  The worst part is that he was given a free pass by many interviewers because of his wealth, prominence, and vindictiveness.  Donald Trump was never going to run for President, but because of who he is, he was allowed to be an overt racist, and to embarrass and demean America in the eyes of so very many people around the world.  It’s a disgrace.

After the President got his exemption to disclose the long-form certificate, the criticism could not be dropped, of course, so skeptics then turned to why it took him so long to do so. The national commentators all attributed the release timing to a couple of polls, indicating that some Independent voters were beginning to believe The Donald’s ramblings.

I don’t believe that for a minute- for a couple of reasons.

First of all, POTUS knew we were on the eve of almost certainly capturing the most wanted criminal in American history.  This whole birth certificate thing would have gone away on its own in just a matter of days. I mean, even if Obama had been found as a baby floating in a reed basket on the Nile River, he was going to be one of us no matter what once OBL was captured or killed.

Nope, it had nothing to do with voters, or the next election, or even getting the truth out. It did have to do with a deadline, though, one that was—then—just a couple of days away: The White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

Barack knew that the whole world was his stage that night, and that he would be free to joke and skewer at will- and that the man who had pushed aside all others, no small feat, to become the premier Wacko de Jour would be sitting right there in the audience.

The result?  Complete and total obliteration.  Up, down, sideways.

The formal announcement came a few days later, but Trump was history.  There are those who believe he was never serious anyway, and they may be right, but it is all moot now. 

    During the campaign, John McCain had some of his own birthplace issues.  The Senator from Arizona was born in the Panama Canal Zone, but it is not clear exactly where.  At one point, he even claimed to have been born in a hospital that was not built until several years after his birth.    

There was a brief, minor flurry of activity. Then McCain waved his birth certificate in front of some news reporters at a press conference, and the issue died a quick death.

    Why the difference?  

    Well, it would be easy to say that “Whitey” had spoken. Or that it’s because people like Karl Rove believe that Obama is going to run the most negative re-election campaign in history. Or that it’s because people like Dick Morris predict another “Holocaust” if Obama remains in office. Or because people believe Obama is a Muslim. A Socialist. A terrorist. But that’s so shallow.  It is so obviously POTUS’s ears.  A guy whose ears stick out, even a little bit, just cannot get a fair shake in this country.

    • Bush the Minor had sticky-out ears too. My take on all this: There are too many stupid people in the world, and they breed.

      Nice work.

      • Judy

      • June 1, 2011 at 9:48 am
      • Reply

      Enjoyed this immensely. And it cleared up something about long form birth certificates.

    • I have said from the very beginning this is a racial thing. People can’t accept having a biracial president. He is as much black as he is white but isn’t it interesting how much focus is put on his blackness. I am disgraced and ashamed of the people like Donald Trump. He will never run for president because he will never release his IRS records. I think he is more fake than real in the cash department. He has been bankrupted too many times to show this to the public. I really dislike all the cruel and nasty behavior that has become the norm for the US.

      • Arry

      • June 1, 2011 at 4:28 pm
      • Reply

      When I worked for the Obama campaign back in 08 I had a pat answer to the birth certificate question. When people asked me about that I would smile sweetly and say, oh, you must have heard that wrong, Obama was born in the U.S. but John McCain was born in Panama, I know that the news is confusing sometimes.

      • Joe

      • June 1, 2011 at 7:23 pm
      • Reply


      BTW, I think it was because ObamaCare wants to off all the old stoopid people before the pharmaceuticals et al suck all the cash out of em 😉

      (yes, that little winkie means this is a sarcastic statement folks)

    • yES C;^)>

    • Joe – thank God you are issuing sarcasm warnings.

    • Stoopid! Ha Ha Ha Ha! I see stoopid people! Ha Ha Ha Ha

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