• author
    • Donald Sanders

    • October 1, 2013 in Columnists

    Laughing to keep from crying

    I like TV. I like it a lot. It is possible to learn everything you would ever need to survive by watching TV. Here are just a few things I learned about our government while watching late night TV, things I didn’t know. If you are anything like me you will have to laugh to keep from crying.

    • In the congressional probe of the Secret Service sex scandal, Congress wanted to know how it could happen, who was responsible, and do the ladies involved take Discover cards?

    • When the Senate swore in a record 20 female senators, the women said they’re very excited, and look forward to proving they can accomplish just as little as male senators.

    • A study released recently stated the average member of Congress can only speak at a tenth grade level.

    • The average tenth grader speaks at a third grade level.

    • A new poll shows that disapproval of Congress is at an all-time high.

    • Eighty-two percent of Americans disapprove of the job Congress is doing and the other 18 percent weren’t home when the question was asked.

    • Democrats and Republicans in Congress are still fighting over the budget. If they can’t agree, there will be a big government shutdown. Many Americans feel what we really need is a big government shut-up.

    • Washington, D.C. has a new program that would pay residents up to $12,000 to move closer to their workplace. Three thousand prostitutes used the program to move in right across from Congress.

    • In the spring of 2011, Homeland Security warned of possible summer attacks by Al Qaeda.

    • In the spring of 2011, President Bush had already ignored four such warnings.

    • After 9/11, security was very high in New York City. A good example of this is that hookers now required two forms of fake IDs.

    • In March of 2003, Donald Rumsfeld made this statement concerning weapons of mass destruction in Iraq: “We know where they are. They’re in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat.”

    • Congress has approved another version of this fiscal cliff bill. Now taxes are going up, and they’re looking to make cuts just about everywhere. In fact, oil companies today had to lay off 15 senators.

    • A new public poll places Congress below head lice in popularity.

    I could go on and on. It seems as if there will always be something fishy about the government. Something will always be just a little bit off, just off enough to be a little bit funny. At least now you know what I mean when I say I’m laughing just to keep from crying.

    • Me too.

    • Enjoyed the article.
      Why are Congress’ benefits free? And their staff gets free benefits while we all just pay more?
      Why do their salaries go up? I could go on. I’m just laughing too.

    Leave a Comment