• Time to move on from 2013

    What a stupid year. 

    2013 — a year that can be easily forgotten, and should be put into the “forget me” bin. 

    Duck Dynasty, more school shootings, seeing Myley Cyrus’s camel toe, the rich get richer, the poor are forgotten about and hated on FOX News and the Wall Street Journal, democracy dead, and no one can find meaningful employment. 

    Oh, did I pile on?  Sorry, just a little piece of nuisance called reality.

    Obamacare is front and center of every computer screen and television every fucking day.  Anyone sick of the boring conversation yet?   I’ll save my opinion on Obamacare for another time, however, I will just say for now that I am really sick to death of the same argument and talking points.  Notice how the conversation mostly about how Obamacare is killing job creation.  Question — were there gobs of job creation happening before Obamacare was implemented? 

    McDonald’s is hiring. I am well aware.  Might as well take your mathematics degree and light it on fire.  Remember the four years and $30,000 you spent getting a degree in math?  At least you can competently count the two minutes it takes to make French fries. 

    To add insult to injury — a widely circulated meme allegedly written by Brad Pitt talking about his wife and how he was going to leave her but her cancer brought them closer together.  Every broad I knew was like “awww” and “this is what every man should read and breathe.”  Come to turn out, the article was complete bullshit and discredited.  However, the ladies didn’t care that it was all patronizing horseshit — they soldiered onward.  Let that be a lesson, America.  You love it when anyone lies to you as long as it involves kissing your ass.

    NBA player Jason Collins came out of the closet.  It made the Huffington Post and everyone else feel good for five minutes.  Guess where Mr Collins is playing now?  Nowhere!  The NBA-homos need not to apply.  I am absolutely shocked he is not bench-warming someplace.  Gay is the new black.  You can be gay, just stay away from my league.  It is the same mentality as angry white males have.  “I don’t hate blacks.”  I am sure you don’t hate them because they don’t live on your block or date your daughters.  You can be gay on TV and help fat chicks pick out wedding dresses.  Just don’t play sports, gays.

    One piece of positive news — the Red Sox are the world champions.  I am a Red Sox fan, so I’m very happy that the bearded weirdoes are the champs.  However, in the ALCS, I was very conflicted.  I am a diehard Detroit Tigers fan.  That whole ALCS I rooted against my Boston Red Sox.  It weighed against my heart.  

    On one of the games, I had a date with a gorgeous mystery woman from Boston.  She knows all about my love for the Sox and Tigers.  We went home and decided to put on the game.  So there we were, watching the game with her on my lap.  All of the sudden the Red Sox just totally imploded.  She was pretty annoyed.  Then she got over it and started making out with me.  As a Tigers fan — is there nothing better than beating the Red Sox for a night and then making out with a hot Red Sox fan?  I watched my Tigers beat the Sox and then I got to feel a booby of a member of Red Sox nation.  That is a total and complete victory.

    Maybe 2013 wasn’t so bad?

    Maybe Eric Snowden isn’t a traitor? 

    Look, I don’t like Eric Snowden’s politics.  On the other hand, he excited America’s conscience and expanded a desperately needed debate on the NSA and the Pentagon.  All of this technology we worship on a daily basis — someone might be listening in on the other end.  It’s a worthy debate.  The debate should be about privacy versus national security during the nuclear age.  The debate should also be about the Pentagon, the defense budget, and why we spend so much money over nothing but pushing around other countries also called war.

     For those reasons alone, Mr. Snowden should be allowed to come back home.  Let him spend one day in jail and then leave him be.

    The government shutdown — give me a break.  The GOP is leaderless and appears not to know what to do.  Meanwhile, they might win the 2014 midterm elections simply because the Democrats seem incompetent and the right-wing media is the mainstream media.  They do a better job of selling bullshit lies then the “liberal media.”  Trust me, they lie just as bad.  FOX News is just better at it — plain and simple.

    How was my year personally? 

    I am writing for iPinion, and the other day I looked and we hit 250,000 hits on the website.  I don’t think my Jerkoff of the Week columns are the reason for the success.  I am not delusional.  I will say that I am a very small cog in a machine of creativity and truth.  I am looking forward to expanding what I write, trying new formats and techniques, and talking about what I always have talked about.  The recipe for my writing will always remain the same: honesty and occasionally humorous. 

    Truth is a weird concept that is always misinterpreted.  You don’t find truth in a fortune cookie.  Truth is something you encounter and it’s violent to your sensibilities.  When you discover the truth of the matter, it totally messes up your innards.  Truth shakes and destroys you at your core.  You are never the same after the experience.

    2013 was a year in which the truth had no affect on us as a nation — the problems still remain the same.  The cries of injustice are so deafening we cover our ears.  It seems utterly impossible to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  Until the cancerous relationship between government and corporate America continues to go unchecked we will continue to fall down the rabbit hole.

    2014 needs to be the year where we all watch our wallets a little better and tell corporate America they can’t buy and sell the American Dream.  Be more like Jesus and Pope Francis — be mad at bankers and Wall Street.



    • I loved this piece: “I will say that I am a very small cog in a machine of creativity and truth. I am looking forward to expanding what I write, trying new formats and techniques, and talking about what I always have talked about. The recipe for my writing will always remain the same: honesty and occasionally humorous.”
      Matt, you are one of the reasons I stick with this! You motivate me! Watching you grow as a writer over the last year has been one of the most rewarding experiences ever! And it all started with a Facebook post!
      Here’s to a better 2014. I agree… 2013 kinda sucked ass. Good riddance.


      • Terri Connett

      • December 31, 2013 at 4:31 pm
      • Reply

      Great column, Matt! Perfect summary of what was wrong with 2013 (except for your Red Sox and that hot sox date!) and a nice way to look towards 2014. P. S. You’re a bigger cog than you think within iPinion!


      • Maya North

      • January 5, 2014 at 10:20 pm
      • Reply

      I am so proud of you and I am with Debra — watching you grow as a writer makes me feel like your proud mom (if once or twice removed). Big hugs!!!



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