• author
    • David Lacy

      Columnist and iPinion co-founder
    • March 23, 2013 in Uncategorized

    Twelve phrases I hate with a passion

     

    1. It is what it is.

    Wow. Insightful. There literally is not a more obvious statement you could make about anything and everything in this world. If you go to someone for advice and he or she offers you this gem, commend him or her for being able to so succinctly paraphrase reality itself.

     

    2. My head is literally about to explode with all of this studying for finals.

     

    Proper response upon hearing this phrase: Someone call an ambulance now g-ddamnit! HURRY UP! Are you Okay? ARE YOU OKAY??? STAY WITH ME NOW! STAY WITH ME!

     

    3. Y.O.L.O. (You Only Live Once).

     

    Yep, as a whole I think this has pretty much been proven true (except for that 3-day magic trick 2,013 years ago). But every organ including the brain can lose functionality along the way to the conclusion of said life. Really need to down 21 shots on your 21st birthday? Your liver thinks nay.

     

    4. It’s sink or swim.

     

    Actually, I learned how to do the back float when I was five. If I don’t wish to rise to any major challenges at this moment why do I have to go under instead?

     

    5. Welcome to [insert Fast Food company name here]. Would you like to try our new [insert bizarre mutant item that will be on the menu for three weeks before disappearing forever]?

     

    There are 50 items on your menu. What are the odds I want that one? Meanwhile, I could have been at the pay window by now.

     

    6. Haters gonna hate.

     

    Yes, it is true that those who truly hate are likely to continue hating (this part goes along with the obviousness of #1). But usually this is a response from someone who has just been lightly teased by someone else over his or her preference of sport team. And the teaser doesn’t really hate anyone on the teasee’s team, at least not in the way any dictionary defines the word. The teasee just couldn’t think of a clever rejoinder so he decided to ascribe one of the worst attributes of human nature to the teaser. Weak sauce.

     

    7. Weak sauce.

     

    Usually the least constructive criticism possible. And it just sounds so squishy and nasty.

     

    8. That’s so gay.

     

    How can something without a sexual identity be gay? Oh, you mean “lame” and you have such severe dyslexia that it transforms every single letter in the word to an entirely new word. Gotcha. (Yeah, yeah, I know, I know: You grew up with the phrase and it doesn’t really mean what it used to me– SHUT UP. YES IT DOES.)

     

    9. It’s a slippery slope to (fill in the blank; e.g.: “health care reform is a slippery slope to Fascist-Communist Nazism”).

     

    1. This effectively eliminates all possibility of compromise because you’ve already foreseen the worst possible outcome if the opposition gets their way.
    2. Sometimes slippery slopes are fun. When you go sledding do you prefer the slippery hurl down the side of the mountain or the tiring trek back uphill?

     

    10. He annoys the shit out of me.

     

    Hey, at least you don’t need a laxative! Still, that must be awkward for you.

     

    11. Think outside the box.

     

    Well, Mr. snarky corporate M.B.A. eighth-tier team leader, maybe I would think outside the box if I didn’t work in a cubicle 40 hours a week.

     

    12. (F.M.L.) Fuck My life.

     

    Translation: My iPhone 5 is getting fixed and I have to use my iPhone 4S for two weeks. God, why is child labor so weak sauce?!


      • Carolyn Wyler

      • March 23, 2013 at 9:13 am
      • Reply

      Mine are “in harms way” and “back in the day”.



    • “Well fuck me runnin!” “Who knew” David you’re a technically funny guy. You make me feel like a “comma splice” and I got that right out of the book. It’s funny that you can’t get inside the box to think out of it and I’m inside the box and can’t think out of it. Ya, that’s it.



    • Funny.


      • Norbie Kumagai

      • March 23, 2013 at 9:50 am
      • Reply

      “It Could Be Worse…” (please fill in the blank) Nice Job Mr. iPinion!!!



    • Cute! My pet peeve favorite is “At the end of the day…” with THAT TONE of casual, condescending boredom… makes me want to start slapping.



    • The guru has spoken!


      • Ana

      • March 23, 2013 at 11:51 am
      • Reply

      So good. Loved this!!


      • davidlacy

      • March 23, 2013 at 12:19 pm
      • Reply

      Thanks you guys!


      • Sivan Butler-Rotholz

      • March 23, 2013 at 2:00 pm
      • Reply

      Funny stuff. I’m with you on number 8, for sure. Though that’s no big surprise.


      • Kelvin

      • March 23, 2013 at 4:33 pm
      • Reply

      Great column, David. “Thrown under the bus.” God, I hate that bus crap. “We’re gonna have to leave it there.” I hate that. Watch Meet the Press. It’s one of David Gregory’s favorite lines. I started using “It is what it is” in December 1995 but now I can’t use it anymore.



    • I know, right?
      Seriously…


      • Maya North

      • March 24, 2013 at 1:48 am
      • Reply

      It’s all good… No. It freaking well ISN’T.


      • Nicola

      • March 24, 2013 at 2:42 am
      • Reply

      Mine is “Can’t catch a break”…I hate that one.



    • I think of this when people say Y.O.L.O http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5Otla5157c


      • davidlacy

      • March 24, 2013 at 9:36 am
      • Reply

      @ Amanda: Yeah, I LOVE that. I showed it to my students after one of them said it!


      • Norma

      • March 26, 2013 at 12:36 am
      • Reply

      I never understood “nothing beats a try but a failure”


      • Laura

      • April 6, 2013 at 1:02 pm
      • Reply

      “I got this/You got this” and how can you forget “Just Sayin’ “


        • davidlacy

        • August 9, 2013 at 1:05 pm
        • Reply

        Yeah, I hate “just sayin”


      • Heather Lee Alani

      • August 9, 2013 at 12:56 pm
      • Reply

      What about Beat it? A dime a dozen? I hear ya! True. Omg! MEEE tooo! Omg! MEEE tooo! I cant wait till humans start communicating telepathically 🙂 Oh well. FML.


        • davidlacy

        • August 9, 2013 at 1:02 pm
        • Reply

        Yeah, I’d agree with all of those! 🙂



    • Mine is: “Part of God’s plan.” So, he’s let you take a peek at the blueprints?


        • davidlacy

        • August 10, 2013 at 8:26 am
        • Reply

        Agreed.


      • Jim

      • October 15, 2014 at 10:01 pm
      • Reply

      How about ‘The rest, as they say, is History’. WTF comes up with this crap in the first place?



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