Uncle Matt’s sport’s corner
Monday Night Football
Tell me you watched Monday Night Football! If you didn’t watch, then you get your sport’s fan card revoked and I am personally throwing you into the Gulag.
Drew Breeze got the beating of his life! 35-7 — thank you for playing! Wow! I watched that game and witnessed a New Orleans Saints team get into a fetal position. Russell Wilson played spectacularly and proved he is one of the top quarterbacks in the league par excellence.
Major league baseball hot stove
We haven’t even entered into the winter meetings and the arms race for players has started. The Detroit Tigers (go Tigers) traded Prince Fielder for Texas Ranger second baseman Ian Kinsler. Tigers pitcher Doug Fister is now a Washington National. The Nationals are a ball-club with a pitching rotation that makes the Tigers of last year jealous. Look out for the Nationals — they ain’t no joke.
Meanwhile in my hometown of New England, a melodrama is playing out. Jacoby Ellsbury agreed to terms with the Evil Empire also known as the New York Yankees. The Yankees are still trying to negotiate a contract with outfielder Robinson Cano. Cano is asking for three hundred million dollars. May I have a full scholarship to Brown? Just asking for absurd demands like Cano. Ah, if I could only hit 40 home runs and drive in a hundred runs a season.
If I could do all that and remain this obese, you guys wouldn’t even see my horribly deconstructed rants.
National Basketball Association
Basketball is in a weird place. On the one hand there is a ton of new talent in the NBA and is starting to make a ton of teams relevant. On the other hand- one conference is absolutely dominant (the West) and the other conference looks and smells like my dog’s poop (the East). Asides from the Miami Heat and the Indiana Pacers, all the other teams are mediocre or absolutely embarrassing.
The Brooklyn Nets — a major disappointment.
The New York Knickerbockers — disappointing
The Philadelphia 76ers — embarrassing, your city deserves so much more.
The Boston Celtics — totally lackluster without their star point guard and probably tanks (not try hard to win) to get a high draft position.
I still try to keep up with my Detroit Pistons and Boston Celtics, but it’s been an annoying season for both franchises thus far.
National Hockey League
I don’t watch much hockey despite Detroit and Boston being hotbeds for hockey fans.
I watch “Pardon the Interruption” and “Around the Horn” on ESPN religiously to get my mind off of my intellectual pursuits and projects. I watched a clip of an absolutely brutal hockey fight where two men grab each other by the shirtsleeves and throw wild haymakers at each other during an episode of Around the Horn. My reaction was one of utter horror.
I want to clarify my position on hockey fights. As a casual observer I am turned off by the notion of self-policing. I don’t like it. I don’t like it in baseball and the “baseball code.” The hockey fight turned me off to no end.
You really need to have an “enforcer?” You really need someone to beat the shit out of the other guy? I obviously do not understand hockey culture despite having ex-girlfriends that were big breasted hockey zealots.
I am not against violence. I like Mixed Martial Arts and occasionally I watch boxing. However, in this day and age of society questioning its ethos and morality, perhaps we are tired of two guys punching each other in the head.
It’s just an observation from someone who isn’t that invested in hockey. I perfectly accept criticism underlining my supposition.
I am a baseball guy. What the hell does that mean? Does that mean I can be an intellectual snob and worship at the altar of baseballs and Louisville Sluggers? Yes! I can be a condescending dick head and watch the Red Soxs and/or Tigers when I get home!
Baseball has a unique aspect that is sometimes underappreciated- baseball is timeless. There aren’t timed quarters or periods. No clocks needed. All you need to do is produce three outs and then the game advances. It’s a very zen-like feeling. No time. You just sit in front of the tube and zone out.
Om (a Buddhist chant).