• Wakey-wakey world

    My wife thinks she’s the boss of me! Ha! I can tell you right away that she is living in a dream-like state in some make believe world where women are smarter and better suited than men when it comes to giving orders. It’s like she has diarrhea of the brain because her dream state is somehow carrying over into her awakened world.

    I know because I live in her awakened world. I don’t know what’s going on in her sleepy-time dream world because there is usually some other guy over there. She says he is younger and better looking than those that live in her wakey-wakey dream world. She says he has a six-pack, a cleft on his chin, and long blond hair that blows back, all the time like someone is following him around with a fan. Whatever!

    Her world, for the most part, does not conflict with mine but when it does, it causes me considerable anxiety. For example, consider her attitude of superiority when I didn’t finish our bathroom remodel according to her schedule. Every morning for well over six months it was, “Are you gonna finish the bathroom today?” When I finally did finish, she wanted to know why the floor bounces and why all the water runs to one corner.

    It doesn’t matter what I say — she just doesn’t understand the relationship between her dreams and her awakened state. You see, in her dream world, she and I organize everything exactly as she wishes, but in the wakey-wakey world the way that I organize my things looks messy to her. If I do everything like she wants me to, I’d lose my identity. If I do every little thing as she instructs me to, then I am just an extension of her psyche. I might as well be a robot!

    This is nothing new because in the writings of Aristotle and that other guy, Hippopotamus, they describe the same problem that has plagued the male side of humanity since we had tails and sharp toenails, and we still sniffed each other’s butts. It’s getting harder to escape the sense that most of the trouble in the world — whether it’s coming out of Washington D. C., the corporations, the banking industry, or the bedroom — the problems that men face can be traced to one overriding problem: Too many women trying to steer. Women think that if they drive, we might all be enjoying a safer ride. Doubt it?

    Think about it! I can see that all of man’s problems arise out of the dreams of women. “Why is that,” you may ask? Simple: The dreams of women are deeply rooted in wish fulfillment! Like I said, “This is nothing new.” There’s an old Hungarian proverb that states, “A pig dreams of acorns and a goose dreams of maize.” What this boils down to is: “I will clean the shed and mow the lawn when I get full of acorns!” Not when my wife wants me to.

    Women need to learn one important thing about men: A man is a thinker, especially a man like me, since I’m a writer guy. When I’m sitting around staring into outer space, I’m not wasting my time, I’m thinking. I’m thinking about something to write about that is meaningful and will better mankind. Ya, my wife should try that sometime!

    I’ll give another example before I close. A month or so ago, my wife had to have a can of a certain color so she could touch up the walls. She had to have it right now. Right now! OK, I looked for an hour, found it and took it to her. I sat it down in the living room where it still sits to this very day. I stubbed my toe on it this morning, which instigated this scientific study of the dream state of women. I will die and go to Hell before I move that damn can of paint! I live in the real, wakey-wakey world! That can of paint does not exist in my wakey-wakey world!

    • Funny but so not true my lovely Donald. Women live in the real world. 🙂 Love your musings even if they are off track. xoxoxo

    • Well my wife thought it was funny. 🙂

      • Pat Ward

      • July 22, 2013 at 3:23 pm
      • Reply

      Maybe she should cook for you the same way you think. That and any other thing you expect of her.

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