We finally caught President Obama in a lie! NAILED HIM!
The Washington Post ran a very brave fact-checking blog in which they give President Obama four Pinocchios because of his lie about the Affordable Care Act’s effect on people who already have healthcare coverage. I am going to rate how bad certain lies were between the past five presidents including our current one.
Barack Obama: “That means that no matter how we reform health care, we will keep this promise to the American people: If you like your doctor, you will be able to keep your doctor, period. If you like your health care plan, you’ll be able to keep your health-care plan, period. No one will take it away, no matter what.”
The above statement is a perfectly acceptable lie in the sense that President Obama is trying to sell a market-based solution to a national healthcare crisis. If you had a substandard health insurance plan the chances were slim if your current coverage were to cover your knee replacement surgery. You had a lousy plan — good riddance.
I give this lie one nagging ex-wife.
George W Bush: “We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories,” Mr. Bush told Polish television. “For those who say we haven’t found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they’re wrong, we found them.”
My main man, GW Bush! We found nothing in Iraq asides Saddam Hussein hiding in a hole. The only evidence of weapons of mass destruction Dick Cheney and his merry men found were aluminum tubes. Remember the head of the CIA told the President and his advisors that the evidence was a slam dunk? Well, a trillion dollars later, a few thousand dead US soldiers later, thousands of dead Iraqis that no one cares about later, and one destabilizing nation with a failing political structure later — what the hell did we achieve in Iraq or Afghanistan? What did victory look like? This was and still is not only a horrible lie but this is a lie that we will have to worry about for generations. We only succeeded in making more terrorists that only have one wish- for us to leave them alone and stop bombing them.
I give this lie four nagging ex-wives.
Bill Clinton: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
President Bill Clinton likes to bang women… a lot of women. OK, not the most appropriate thing to do as leader of the free world. However, Clinton had the class to lie. What was he going to say? To the Republicans this was an impeachable offense. President Clinton lied under oath about sex with some chubby chick. Kick him out of office! Bill’s marriage to Hillary Clinton was none of our business. Whether Bill was a slut or perhaps Hillary was okay with Bill’s indiscretions, the lie was so small and inconsequential to our republic. Who honestly cared about Bill sex life asides those who presumable had no sex lives of their own? What a pathetic lie to get all crazy and Articles of Impeachment about?
I give this lie half of a nagging wife… I assume the bottom half of the ex-wife.
George HW Bush: “Read my lips: no new taxes.”
Typically, politicians will campaign on promises made and broken almost immediately after taking the oath of office. During George HB Bush’s term, taxes were raised to help balance the budget and pay for our first excursion into Iraq and Kuwait- Operation Desert Storm. Because of George HW Bush’s audacity to let a tax be raised during his watch, Grover Norquist assembled his political goon squad to run interference in George HB Bush’s reelection campaign. I suppose Bush 41 wasn’t big “R” Republican enough. Meanwhile, if you ever want chills to run down your spine read up on Bush 41 and you will see a patriarch establishment Republican in full effect. They don’t make Neo-Conservatives like that anymore. He career would scare Adam Lambert straight.
Was this a lie worth caring about? Nope. I give this lie one and a half nagging ex-wives.
Ronald Reagan: “Let me further make it plain to the assassins in Beirut and their accomplices, wherever they may be, that America will never make concessions to terrorists — to do so would only invite more terrorism — nor will we ask nor pressure any other government to do so. Once we head down that path there would be no end to it, no end to the suffering of innocent people, no end to the bloody ransom all civilized nations must pay.”
I don’t even know where to begin.
The fact remains not only did President Ronald Reagan negotiate with terrorists with the Iran-Contra scandal, he also helped create new ones. In Reagan’s campaign to win proxy wars against the Soviets, Regan gave money, guns, artillery, and CIA training to a group of Afghani people who call themselves the Mujahideen. The CIA made some of these “holy freedom fighters” into CIA agents. There was one CIA agent in particular who became prominent and made news after the events of 9-11-01- Osama Bin Laden. I suppose the Pentagon never assumed one of their agents would turn the guns against his masters.
I give this lie the maximum amount of nagging ex-wives allowable under the powers of the United Nations: five nagging ex-wives and they all want their child support.
No doubt Barack Obama’s detractors and political opponents loved the political hit-job the Washington Post did in the name of journalism. It’s easy to catch a politician in a lie — you just wait 10 minutes and that politician will serve up a stinking turd whopper of a lie. However, to borrow a phrase from hip-hop: Let’s keep it real.
Lying about a blowjob is different from lying about weapons of mass-destruction. A perceived lie about losing shitty health care coverage is different from lying about negotiating with terrorists. When a Democrat lies, the torches and pitchforks come out.
All of this fake outrage because President Obama wanted to help people get healthcare. Good job Washington Post.