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    • Matthew Najmowicz

      Columnist
    • April 3, 2014 in Columnists

    What can you do against the bullies? Plot your revenge.

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    source: When friends becomes bullies- CNN http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/29/living/bullying-friends/

    Wil Wheaton (pronounced with an emphasis on the “h” sounds, also known as Wesley Crusher of “Star Trek the Next Generation”) gave advice to a kid during a comic book convention and his three minute YouTube clip went viral.  I assume you need a shot of penicillin after going viral.  Anyways, the gist of Wil Wheaton’s  advice was to endure the humiliation and badgering that goes on from the beginning of elementary school until your final dreary days of high school.  He said some heart-warming mess about how bullies don’t love themselves and never get their parents’ attention.   That’s all well and good, Ensign Crusher, and make it so.   Fine enough advice and I’m not bashing the words of a Next Generation cast member.   

    Smart people like moi had to endure all sorts of cruelty and ostracizing when we were younger.  There isn’t that much refuge when you’re in a big high school.

    I went to two high schools when I was a tadpole.  Unfortunately, I had to leave one early and went to a much larger public high school during my junior and senior year.  I will say when you are younger, the size of the school can matter.  I was at a high school that had 200 students total and after an unfortunate physical altercation compounded with a post-Columbine zero-tolerance policy, I was fed to the wolves at a much larger high school.

    However, despite any school you go to – children are absolute assholes.   Any appearances get made fun of.  Skin color gets a remark, genders get made fun of, sexual orientation becomes a target. Your clothing, your habits, and any other nonconformist behavior becomes fuel for a pack of bullies.  Being smart, a ginger, and having the last name of Najmowicz was enough for me to try to avoid a daily beat down at my last high school.  There were literally certain hallways and other territories that I knew I couldn’t walk down or there was a good chance of four guys trying to remodel my boyish face with their fists (one time, it was brass knuckles). 

    High school is a meat-grinder.  I never could understand people who said high school was the best days of their lives.  Usually those were older bullies who said things like that.  Usually it’s an over-the-hill man or woman who misspent his or her youth tormenting a fat girl or beating up on a black guy who goes “yep, high school was so great.”

    It never ends either.  You get out of high school and the pressure for you to conform is excessive and overbearing.  In fact, I think that’s the true nature of a bully – the pressure for you to conform. 

    People want you to act a certain way, buy a certain product, speak a certain manner and live your life by a certain set of rules – explicit and implicit .  The day you start to show signs of individuality, society no longer has a place for you.  Read the news and you find all sorts of people who are oppressed for thinking differently.  Want to meet an individual – read about Socrates.  All the guy ever did was ask questions and they made him drink hemlock. 

    My advice to someone getting bullied:

    1. Be aware of your surroundings.
    2. You might have to eventually protect yourself physically. I am not saying bring a weapon with you. No guns and no knives. Weapons are for pussies who cannot accept defeat. Mass shootings like Columbine High School solve no problems and just hurt innocent people. You should never ever have to do something as awful like what we see on TV. However, if you can learn how to fight like I did – it comes in real handy.
    3. Wear headphones at all times. Avoid people. Most people are shitheads you can barely relate to and will only ask you dumb questions.
    4. Occasionally you will meet someone who is rad. Strength in numbers, kiddo. If you find someone to relate to, hang out with that person or group of people as much as possible. This is potentially difficult, depending on your personality. However, if you find a group of nerds or gamers, you are usually on the right track.
    5. If the bullying gets really bad, not only should you go tell teachers and your parents/guardians, but it might also be worth it to write an email to your local news media. The more noise you make about it, the better chance something might be done.
    6. Good people always get the shaft. They killed so many good people throughout history because they had the courage to speak up. If you don’t want to speak up for yourself, you need to speak up for your friends and those in the future who will suffer the same cruelty as you endured.
    7. Work hard, read, learn things, do something fun, drown yourself in good music, grab a soda and play a video game, go on a hike, punch a punching bag, or do something constructive. Depression is rage turned inward. Focus that rage and anger into something else.
    8. High school is the fastest blur of your life. Four years seem like an eternity. Spend those four years trying to cultivate people you can try to trust.  Spend those four years planning your jailbreak and leave those pieces of shit behind. Your high school friends will all be gone. Get ready to move on with your life and it should include moving out of the city where you currently reside. It will be over with and a new life begins. You truly get a do-over in college or wherever you land.
    9. Revenge is success. Revenge is doing something good for the world. Revenge is getting into a good college. Revenge is finding a lovely woman or man who finds you irresistible. Revenge is freedom from the bonds of bullies and masters. Revenge is going out into the world and healing your wounds from childhood. Revenge is simply saying “fuck you, I did it my way.”
    10. Lastly, it’s not your fault. You are born this way. You know you are different. You know you stand out. Hopefully someday you will be in a position where what makes you unique is a marketable asset that helps you live a good life. Being gay isn’t a curse. Being bi-racial makes you beautiful. Being smart means you can save the world. Being an artist means you truly have something wonderful to say to the world. Being different is a blessing despite the world not being able to understand that difference.

    Stay strong soldier.  We all love you and continue to fight your fight and the fight of so many others who get bullied.

     



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