• author
    • Terri Connett

    • October 18, 2016 in Columnists

    Women for Trump are going to hell

    I was driving when I heard Michelle Obama’s powerful speech last week, calling out Donald Trump’s “sexually predatory behavior.” It was all I could do to keep my Jeep on the road. When she mentioned that “sick, sinking feeling,” I got a big lump in my throat and my eyes blurred with tears. It was obvious she was speaking from experience. I was outraged that some man had dared to harass this accomplished, smart, funny, beautiful woman. And at the same time I was overcome with despair over the realization that it’s happened to pretty much all of us.

    My own experiences range from annoying to silly to frightening. Men have stood a little too close (as our First Lady mentioned) and a few thought my eyeballs were in my bra. I once had a boss who would store his Diet Cokes in the mini fridge in my office and every time he’d find a can with a little glue on it, he’d scrape it off with his fingernail and say, “Hmmm … this one has jiz on it.” Did he realize what he was saying? Was this his twist on Clarence Thomas’ infamous pubic hair? In any case, it made me uncomfortable. And so, going forward, I’d take his cans out of the carton, wipe them off and put them back to avoid the whole thing.

    And then there were confrontations that left no room for doubt. Like the time I was the marketing director for a grandfather clock company. The International Furniture Market Trade Show is held in High Point, North Carolina. High Point’s year-round population doesn’t justify many hotels, so the locals rented out their houses to companies for a week in April and October during the markets. They’d make a little money and we’d have a homey alternative to a hotel room. I made the arrangements and filled my house with female colleagues.

    At the end of one business day, I needed a ride home, as my housemates were all going to an evening event. A salesman within my company kindly offered me a ride home. He was married. I was married. He was a nice guy and everybody liked him. We had a good working relationship and I never thought twice about it. Once we arrived home, he asked if he could come in to use the bathroom. Again, I didn’t have a second thought and welcomed him in to use the facilities.

    I started unpacking my briefcase in the living room when he came from behind and put his arms around my waist. It startled me, mostly because I never heard the bathroom door open. I thought he was just kidding but when I pulled away, he turned me around and told me we should have sex. He wasn’t being overly aggressive so I still thought he was joking. He tried to kiss me and when I asked him to leave, he refused. I got scared. We went back and forth for a while until he suggested a compromise. “Okay,” he said “let’s just get naked and lay in bed together.”

    Wuh what?

    At that moment, I told him to get out and reminded him we had one more day of the trade show and I didn’t think he’d want me telling everybody what happened. Either I got through to him or just wore him down, but finally he left.

    I locked the front door and went to my room. I sat on my bed with my work clothes on until the house got dark and my colleagues came home. I didn’t tell them what happened. I took a shower and went to bed. Instead of sleeping, I reviewed everything in my mind on a loop, wondering how I sent the wrong message. As women often do, I blamed myself.

    But the next morning, I realized it wasn’t my fault. So I went to his boss and told him what happened. You could literally see the anger move through his body. His neck got red and then his face. He shot straight up out of his chair. Then he sat back down and quietly asked me if I wanted to report this to HR. I told him I did not. He put his hand on my shoulder and apologized for “his guy” and told me he would handle it.

    The day I returned to my office, back in Michigan, I got a very contrite phone call from the harasser. I accepted his apology. That afternoon I received flowers from him. That was a little weird, especially when my co-workers asked who they were from. Perhaps his boss made him do it, I’m not sure.

    I am pretty sure a majority of women have been disrespected, or much worse, by a misogynistic caveman at least once in their lives. The thought of voting for Donald Trump for president is incomprehensible.

    Trump has bragged about his lewd behavior toward women to Howard Stern for 17 years. He publicly embarrassed Ivana and Marla with flamboyant infidelities. He’s been calling Rosie O’Donnell ugly names since she criticized him on The View back in 2006. Heck, in 1999, Donald Trump is on tape telling Chris Matthews he could never run for president because of his history with women.

    My point is the “grab ’em by the pussy” tape, from the bums on the bus, should not come as a shock. No one should be surprised there are nine-and-counting women from Trump’s past sharing their disgusting experiences.

    Donald Trump has alienated Muslims, Latinos, African Americans, Asians, Iowans, immigrants, Gold Star Families, POWs, climate scientists, journalists and the disabled.

    And women! WOMEN! Women make up half the population and therefore half of the aforementioned groups. So if you are a black woman, I’m guessing you’re twice as disgusted by Donald Trump. And if you are a Latina disabled climate scientist living in Des Moines — your head probably explodes every time you turn on the news.

    We have the power, ladies. In 2012, women represented 53 percent of the presidential vote. Yet so many women are inexplicably all in for Donald Jackass Trump and dead set against Hillary Rotten Clinton.

    Of course we’re not a monolithic voting block — but deleted emails, Wall Street speeches, untrustworthy and unlikable aside, how can women choose a sexual predator over Hillary Clinton?

    Let’s start with campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway and cookie-cutter surrogates Katrina Pierson, Kayleigh McEnany and Scottie Nell Hughes. They have sold their souls with inane defenses like “there were no witnesses to any of the alleged nine unwanted sexual advances.” Well, no shit, Sherlock. None of this kind of stuff happens around spectators.

    Another comeback is “Why didn’t these women come forward at the time it happened?” I would say Bill Cosby’s accusers solved that big mystery, didn’t they?

    Equally disappointing are the everyday women at the Trump rallies. They come in all ages, mostly white, and in all sizes. And some of them come in T-shirts. T-shirts with sayings like:

    Hillary for Prison ’16
    Trump that bitch
    Hillary Sucks but not Like Monica
    Life’s a bitch. Don’t elect one.
    Jesus loves you! I think you’re a cunt!
    Trump Can Grab My (arrow pointing to crotch area)

    Remember, when they go low, we go… wait, are you fucking kidding me?

    All I can say is these women — Kellyanne, the bullet-necklace-wearing idiot Katrina, all the Barbie doll talking heads and all the T-shirt-wearing, self-interest-denying civilians are going to hell.

    Yes, I know Madeleine Albright upset a lot of people during a primary campaign event for Hillary when she uttered her trademark phrase, “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other.” But our first female Secretary of State is right. These women for Trump aren’t just being unhelpful to women. They are promoting a man who has a track record of hurting women.

    Even though my Catholic upbringing teaches the concepts of heaven and hell, I’m not really sure I believe it. But I hope I’m wrong.

    • Beautifully written on an important issue. We all have had these advances and hopefully Trump is dead in the water and this behavior will stop or at the very least be exposed for the abuse it is.

        • Terri Connett

        • October 18, 2016 at 9:08 am
        • Reply

        Thanks so much, Madge. I share your hopes!

      • JuJuBeGirl

      • October 19, 2016 at 4:21 pm
      • Reply

      I got that same lump in my throat when I read her speech. I am so glad you wrote this piece Terri. Proud to call you friend!

        • Terri Connett

        • October 20, 2016 at 8:09 am
        • Reply

        Well now I’m choked up again. First because your similar reaction to the speech tells me you’ve also been disrespected. And secondly because I’m so grateful to have your friendship. 🙂

      • Carole Kauffman

      • October 27, 2016 at 5:14 am
      • Reply

      You are right. Almost all women have experienced the lech in our midst. Great article, again. You shar so many details of your fabulous you.

        • Terri Connett

        • October 28, 2016 at 7:10 am
        • Reply

        Thanks so much, Sis! And it is upsetting to think how many women have had a lecherous Trump experience.

    • Men who abuse women suffer from what I call “the little man syndrome.” They strike out at others that they perceive as weaker because they are cowards on the inside so they act big on the outside. Donald Trump is a classic example of the little man syndrome. Most are easy to spot – they are all the same – they should not be ignored – if encountered please put a red dot of spray paint on their forehead so others are aware that they are around. Women should carry a can of paint at all times. They should not hesitate to use it and they should use it often and with great largesse.

      • I agree. Only men who are insecure abuse women. I have no use for them at all.

          • Terri Connett

          • October 28, 2016 at 7:14 am

          Amen, sister.

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